Thank you all for replying to my thread.

Its funny you say that rufalina "but I know i made the right call at the time" because at the time I did too but now when I look back it doesn't feel like I made the right decision.

Hi RoyaUK, I think I know who you are talking about and I have seen Rhea once and have another appointment in a few weeks. I feel the same as you when you said "I don't feel like i 'gave birth' though to my babies. They were taken from my body and that's just a fact for me." and I cant help think that no amount of therapy can change that feeling.

I had an emergency c/s with DS1 - I was induced at 40wks and kick myself almost daily for letting myself be induced, I didnt know at the time that you can say no.
My second was an elective after battling severe depression the entire pregnancy I was too mentaly and physically exhausted long before I was due so did not think I could birth and at the end of the day did not have the support to. Again I wished I had of had more courage at the time as I think having a VBAC at that point would have been very rewarding.
My third was a very planned VBA2C but at 39weeks my big bubba was breech with no chance of turning and I was not willing to try a breech VBA2C.

I feel the same way about having more babies as you do RoyaUK.