Yes, it was Rhea! If you wanted someone else to debrief with, i also had a beautiful private midwife for my third baby who may be useful to talk to. You may find it useful to talk to a midwife. I can PM you her details if you're interested.

my story was not too dissimilar.
DD1 - induced at term after 2 days prelabour & emergency c-section.
DD2 - went to hospital too early, was still in prelabour but didn't know it & hospital wanted to process me so another c-section without me really being prepared for it. Also ended up with an inverted t-shaped incision which made any future births risky according to some doctors. Should have prepped for a VBAC more carefully.
DD3 - worked very hard for a VBA2C but after 6 days of 10 mins difficult contractions (still prelabour) and my waters breaking on day 5 and still no progress, i unwillingly took myself in for a c-section. Only dilated 1 cm.

My heart was still very heavy with disappointment a couple of months ago but as DD3 has started smiling and giggling it has started to become easier for me. In time you will leave that part of the journey behind.