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Thread: What are the reasons for separation after c/s?

  1. #1

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    Default What are the reasons for separation after c/s?

    As someone who is newly experiencing the prospect of having a c/section, I became quite upset in my antenatal class tonight when most of it was about c/sections. She was explaining in the case of baby being fine and while mum is being stitched up and in recovery, dad and baby will be taken to the ward to wait an hour or two for me. All I will get is a quick cuddle before he is whisked away and I am left alone. DH repeated what she said about being separated and she just said "yes, that's how we do it". I couldn't even speak. My emotions are all over the place with this c/s / breech thing at the moment that I cried 3 times during tonights class (including watching a c/s dvd). I just feel like any control I may have had, is all out the window if we have a c/s.

    What I don't really understand, is why they take baby away if he is fine? We want skin to skin, and we want to breastfeed ASAP, not 2 hours later. I don't understand how these hospitals call themselves baby friendly or breastfeeding friendly when they separate mum and baby so soon for so long.


  2. #2

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    Megan, what hospital are you going to?
    Id suggest looking at the possiblilty of hiring a private midwife for the birth, so she can be with you in recovery - most common reason for speeration is that you need a midwife to be with you in recovery and they're not always avaialable

  3. #3

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    Te two reasons that I was given were -
    1. It is to cold in recovery for a baby.
    2. There is not a midwife available in recovery to be there for the baby if required, recovery staff are there for you.

    Although I was told that as I was the last CS for the day that the midwife in the op with me could come to recovery with me as she wouldn't be required to set up and get ready for the next CS, my DD was taken directly to NICU so it turned out that I did not get to have her in recovery with me after all. It was so very important to me to breastfeed and not miss those precious first moments but it turned out that she had other plans.

    Talk to your ob and discuss the importance to you, there ARE things they can do to accomadate you, if they choose.

    ETA: I agree with rayray - if you can afford a private midwife, it is definatly the way to go.
    I am hoping for a VBAC next time but I am trying to convince DH in spending the money on a private midwife to be there with me to ensure I miss out on nothing
    Last edited by DaintreeDream; March 19th, 2009 at 09:05 PM. Reason: ETA listed.

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    I don't know why they do it, but this is what happened with my emergency c/s. DS was fine (but they checked him over first cause the c/s was due to fetal distress), they then brought him over to me for a few minutes. DH and DS then left. I was stitched up and in recovery - it was almost 2 hours before I saw DS again. I had no idea this would happen, and it still upsets me sometimes.

    I have heard of other girls here on BB having better experiences where they get to hold bub and have skin-to-skin while they're being stitched up, etc.

    I'm sorry I'm not more help. Good luck with everything .

  5. #5

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    I had a c/s nearly 4 months ago and I held bub as soon as she was born and then DH went and showed the grand P's while I was being sewn up but then bub was put on my chest in recovery and put on the breast and I held her the whole time! I was holding her when they pushed me back to my room and then she was placed in her bassinett and she never left my side at all - well only while they weighed her and did the blood tests they have to do - for the entire stay in hospiutal! Infact the following day I took over changing her and feeding her.
    Id look into the hospital - as not all hospitals are like that at all.
    I must admit that my emerg c/s was at 4 am in the morning and there were no others at the time so Im not sure if that made a diff or not??

    Kate xox

  6. #6

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    rayray, I'm going to the Angliss in UFTG.
    unfortunately hiring a private midwife is just not doable financially at the moment, especially with only a couple of weeks to go.
    DD, I'll mention my concerns at my appt on Tuesday and see what she says.

  7. #7

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    Sterla, that must have been a bit of a shock. One minute he was there and then he was taken away. It upsets me now just thinking about it, and I just can't get it out of my head that it could have a serious negative impact after the birth as well.
    KG, I wonder if it being an emergency c/s did make a difference? no idea! Mine would be considered "elective" due to breech presentation, so it could be a production line and busy.

  8. #8

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    i would keep stressing to them that you want a midwife with you in recovery, breasfbfeeding, skin to skin etc. your body heat if baby has skin to skin, and a warm blanket on top should keep bub warm int he theatre, its not like the baby s lying naked alone.

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    I agree rayray... those oven heated blankets were lovely, they were pilling them on me in recovery, that and your skin is definatly enough

  10. #10

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    that's what I thought about skin to skin. even if the room is a little bit cold, your body temperature adjusts itself to keep baby warm, and if you can have a warm blanket over the top, it should be fine.
    Last edited by Megan; March 19th, 2009 at 09:37 PM. Reason: can't spell

  11. #11

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    The way I see it and the way they explained it to me at my hospital is that if bub was fine then she was with me apart from weighting and measuring... and I had warm blankets and a silver tube put under the bankets that had warm air blowing from it... I was boiling so there was no way that DD was getting cold!
    I would stress that that is what you want and if bub is ok then that what you should get!!

    Kate

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    Megan - can I add, if worst comes to worst and you cannot have bubs with you in recovery. Do discuss with DH about your wishes.

    I had asked DH that under no circumstance was anyone (family etc) allowed to so much as see a peak of my baby until I was there. I hate the thought of everyone sitting around bonding with my baby before me. I have heard of woman going under GA and coming out to grandparents cuddling there baby before they even saw them for the first time. To me this is horrible.

    I don't mean to upset or scare you but it is best to discuss these things, just in case.

    I do hope you get to have your precious baby with you.

  13. #13

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    I had an emergency c/s in 2004. My DD was put into my arms before I could move them properly while I was in theatre still. She came to recovery and they put her on my chest once we were there, the midwife had her on my breast within 30 minutes of birth. She did not leave my bed. DH was sent out while I was in recovery but DD stayed with me. Even when everyone left & we were left to rest, she was left in my bed.

    I had specifically requested beforehand that I wanted her to be with me as long as she was healthy no matter what and they complied with that.

  14. #14

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    I had an EC with DD. She was on my chest while I was being stitched up and held by DH when I couldn't hold her anymore (I had the anesthetic shakes) Then straight back on to me while DH and I were both in recovery. She was feeding (and pooing) on me within half an hour I'd say, before I left recovery, for sure.
    I had no idea it was any different in other places. I would be putting my foot down if I were you. I can't think of any reason, other than immediate health problems, that should stop your baby being with you straight away.

  15. #15

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    DD, you brought up one of my biggest issues. I've definitely thought about the family thing too. To the point that we probably will not tell family I am going in for a c/s. If they do happen to know, they are not welcome at the hospital until well after he is born we are settled and have had our own time in the ward. After all, we would have had that special time after VB in the delivery suite, and I don't want to miss out on that because of a c/s.

    It's good to hear that it does happen - you can get that time with your baby after a c/s, but I get the impression I am going to have a fight on my hands. Another reason I want to breastfeed straight away is that I have GD, and if bub has low blood sugar and they wont let him in recovery with me then what will they do? feed him formula? that's a big no no and why he needs that colostrum as soon as possible.

  16. #16

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    I think that sounds like the best idea (no to tell family) becaues they'll be lining up at the hospital waiting in your room for you when you come from recovery and just being downright annoying. And if bubs is taken back to the room while you are in recovery there is a chance they'll have cuddles before you... thats something that would have made me explode... so yeah I'd just hold off and tell them afterwards. Let it be a surprise You can let them know after the birth if/when you want them there.

    Ok so the scenario you described is what happened to us. Mine was an unplanned c/s, and after a quick nuzzle Shel and Jazz were gone before I even knew, and back up to the room while I waited in recovery for close to 2 hours.

    I have been pretty upset about this, I lost that time with my new baby, and it did have an effect on PND. BUT it wasn't all negative - Shel had skin to skin with Jazz until I got there, which was great for their bonding, and at least my little babe got that contact. Our first breastfeed was 2 hours after birth, and yes even though there was that and the c/s our bfing relationship is fine, 7.5 months on and still going great so it isn't the be all end all. It sometimes upsets me still that I lost that time, but ... I try to think of it as 2 hours... 2 hours out of her whole life... the longer I dwell on that, the less time I am spending with her right now KWIM? They say its the most special and magical time, and yeah, it is, but then... it all is So if worst comes to it and you aren't allowed bub in recovery, its ok It might be disappointing, but you'll have so much time the rest of their life (or at least childhood LOL), try not to dwell too much on those first two hours.

    As for the colostrum. Ok. Are you able to express some now? If you start trying now you could be able to take it to the hospital so that if bubs blood sugar falls and you aren't there they can give him your colostrum rather than formula? Your partner could feed the colostrum too?

  17. #17

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    I am not sure what they do in the avent that baby needs to be fed as my DD was in NICU and wasn't given colostrum until on day 2, this was her first feed, she never had formula, they came to me and asked if I was planning on BF and asked me to express some colostum for them. Until then they hadn't even spoke to me about expressing/BF - I didn't know what I was meant to do .

    I think that you need to express all of these feelings with your ob, I know where you are coming from and it is so very distressing, I cannot believe that these days they are able to take you baby and those precious moments away from you, it makes me so angry.

    Write it all down you may forget all of your points once you are there, I think you will have more chance if you are passionate and have the alot of good reasoning to support you (which I really agree, you do )

    As for the family, I had my parents and MIL waiting for us. I asked where they would wait and was told 'in my room', I asked were would DH and baby wait 'in my room' Ahhh, NO! - I made my family wait down 5 levels in the ground floor cafe , just in case they may by any chance get a peep before I came back, if that was to happen. I told them either DH would come and get them or call once they were allowed to come up! I wanted DH and I to introduce our DD as a couple also.... it wasn't just about the bonding and cuddles, it was my parents first grandDAUGHTER and I wanted to be there to see them meet.

    Best of luck hun.

  18. #18

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    Thanks girls for your suggestions. It definitely helps to get different perspectives and I need to try and come to terms with what may happen before it actually happens IYKWIM. It's just the way I am, and after taking over 4 years to get to the point of having our baby I have been having trouble dealing with the fact that once again I have no control over anything.

    Leasha, I have spoken to an ABA counsellor about expressing, so it is definitely something I am going to try in a couple of weeks. When I mentioned it to the midwife however, she was horrified that I would be expressing before giving birth. I had it on my birth plan and her words were "well NO, you WON'T be expressing before birth". I told her about the information I had been given from the ABA and she didn't say anything more. I have an electric pump so will give it a go soon. I just hope I can get some! I've had no leaking or sign of colostrum so far. The point you made about PND is something I am concerned about as well since I already have risk factors due to LTTTC/IVF etc. I feel depressed just thinking about it now, and need to get my head around it beforehand and try to make the best of a not so ideal situation.

    DD, I have been discussing the grandparent thing with DH today. He actually suggested we wouldn't tell his mother until after he is born and we are ready for visitors (she only lives 5mins from the hospital and will be banging down the door despite our requests, because she's already said she has to be the first to see him). As for my mum, she's a couple of hours away so if she promises to respect our wishes and just stay at our house until DH calls her, I will let her know when we are going in. No one else will know - because another reason is I won't get any peace and quiet the night before because of phone calls!!

    I'm going to relax for the weekend and then think about it a bit more when we know what we're dealing with after Monday's ultrasound. I just have to chill out and try and let go of some of these control issues I have!!

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