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Thread: What were the best supportive words you heard about a c/section?

  1. #1

    Question What were the best supportive words you heard about a c/section?

    My sister is booked to have her C/s (emergency) in about 35minutes.
    She just rang me crying and upset that she has to have one under a spinal.

    Obviously upset as it wasnt her planned birthplan and upset that she doesnt get to experience Labour or natural birth at all?

    I am wondering what was the most supportive words you heard when going for your c/s for a first time bub? (or subsequent for the matter)... would love to pass on some words of encouragement and support for her




  2. #2

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    Oh hun - basically knowing I had done everything I could at that point helped me, but really when I had her in my arms it made all the tears and fear go away. She has probably had her bubby by now!! Hope they are doing well and she makes a speedy recovery!

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    I find it helped enormously to think about caring for my DD afterwards and focused on bfing and having her with me. I was keen to stop using the patient-controlled painkiller drip-thingy so that I could get up and about as well.

    Also, doing leg stretches, etc when feeling starts to get back into them so I could walk, ditch the catheter and have baby in the room with me.

    Hope she recovers well...

  4. #4

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    I strongly believe in congratulations the woman on giving birth and life to her baby which is the most amazing gift. It doesn't matter if it came out the sunroof or tunnel as long as she and her baby are safe. No matter what she did give birth to her baby and she is an amazing woman for doing that.
    Hope everyone is okay.

  5. #5

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    She's probably had her baby now, so congratulations to your sister on becoming a mummy, and congratulations on becoming an Aunty!
    I'm sure once she's holding her baby in her arms, the worry of not having the birth she intially planned on, will be gone.

  6. #6

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    After going through the same thing with my DS, I would second the comments made by Dan. I needed to know that I had birthed my baby and given him life, not to mention all the hard work that I had put in for the previous 40 weeks making sure he was healthy and growing well. There is so much emphasis put on the "birth" that it makes you feel so upset when it doesn't eventuate the way you hoped. Really, the birth is only one small step in being a mum, which started at conception and continues on and on.

    For some people (myself included) the disappointment doesn't disappear when you get to hold your bub - particularly when it is 2 hours after they arrive. Keep giving her support and let her talk it out if she wants.

    Hope it went well and that her beautiful baby has arrived safe and sound!.

  7. #7

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    hi girls
    thanks for your advice
    Well a little 7lb 2 oz baby girl entered the world today via the 'sunroof' (thanks nursedan lol).
    Healthy bub and mum!

  8. #8

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    Hi Pink Palace,

    Congratulations on the birth of your new little niece

    As you can see from my sig, mine came out the sunroof too. I agree with Nursedan, she did an amazing thing by giving life to a child. At the end of the day birth is birth, whichever way it happens

  9. #9

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    My wife is an independently practicing midwife, and has had two babies at home. You could not find a bigger advocate of natural birth. And yet, she always begins her antenatal classes on caesareans with this:

    "There is absolutely no doubt that caesareans save the lives of mothers and their babies."

  10. #10

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    Well that is exactly what i said to my sis this morning!
    lol
    Because it is true - if it means you and your bub come out healthy then it is the right way to give birth!

  11. #11

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    Maybe not supportive but it did give me a giggle...

    My good friend (whos house I bleed at & was taken to hospital from) txt me & said "at least you wil keep your snatch tidy" LOL...


    But she is still brithing her baby regardless of the method!!! & with a spinal will still be able to have immediate contact with her baby... ( I couldnt cause alexa was prem tho)

  12. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by shellbell View Post
    For some people (myself included) the disappointment doesn't disappear when you get to hold your bub - particularly when it is 2 hours after they arrive. Keep giving her support and let her talk it out if she wants.

    Hope it went well and that her beautiful baby has arrived safe and sound!.
    I agree. The worst thing you can say to someone who didn't want a caesarean is that it doesn't matter in the end because they've got a healthy baby.

    It's so, so important that she be allowed to feel whatever she feels about her little girl's birth and that no one tries to minimise it, or make her feel better by saying things like that. The most supportive thing you can say is actually nothing - let her talk.

    Congrats on your little niece!

  13. #13

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    Yes, actually, I agree with Shellbell and Tobily. It's important to let her talk about how she feels. I didn't actually feel disappointment straight away but once I left the hospital, and particularly after hearing some of my ante-natal buddies more positive birth experiences, I really started greiving over my lost birth experience. One of my ante-natal friends described her caesar was a positive experience, having the staff in theatre chatting to her, cracking jokes and making her feel at ease - then being able to hold her bubba in theatre. I started to feel a little sad and ripped off cause my caesar was under a general and I missed out on that.
    Hopefully your sisters caesar was a positive experience like my friends was, but it is only natural to feel ripped off about not experiencing a vaginal birth.
    She is not inferior or a failure for not birthing vaginally though - make sure she knows that.

  14. #14

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    when will c-section stop being looked down upon

    some people choose an elective some need an emergency

    happy healthy mother and baby is that not what we all want

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    Quote Originally Posted by onlyone View Post
    happy healthy mother and baby is that not what we all want
    Yep! And after my emergency c/section, I was neither happy, or healthy. And everytime someone said "you have a healthy baby" I wanted to punch them.

    Because saying that is the same as saying that I didn't matter. That what I went through didn't matter. That I should just shut up and be grateful.

    Which is why I feel so passionately that other women who find themselves in the situation I was once in, have their feelings heard and validated.


  16. #16

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    thank tobily - i let my sis talk it out she is doing well.. not as upset as she was and i took your advice on about not really throwing comments ... ie.. well baby is healthy etc and let her talk it out.

    Onlyone - i hope you didnt take this post as me saying that they are a bad thing etc etc... it wasnt about that - it was purely i know my sister and how she is upset over the whole process, unfotunately not everyone sees the c/s as a positive thing and this is what i needed help for to help her as she definately didnt.

  17. #17

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    PP

    I had an emergency c/s and it all turned out beautifully, I got to hold my DD straightaway and was back in my room within 15 mins of birthing her, and I was home and up and about within a week, driving within 3 weeks, and 10 months later I havent had any problems whatsoever with the scar, pain or healing.

    I too was disappointed at first, but the fact that this was my only choice in the end, and without c/s both bub and I would have been lost, makes me grateful that I had this option. In fact Im sick of people looking down on it, for some of us its not a choice, its a matter of life.

    So keep on encouraging your sister, and let her know that for every bad c/s story she will hear, there is a good one. She grew that little life inside her, and she felt its every move, every kick, even hiccups, she probably had heartburn and got haemorroids (sp?), she gave life to and birthed her daughter, she feels the pain of her scar and gets to see it everday for the rest of her life, but its all part of the miracle of pregnancy, birth and motherhood, no matter how you get there.

    Hope her and bub are doing well

    Lisa xx

    PS your a wonderful sister taking the time to find out how best to comfort her

  18. #18

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    pp - I know you where not saying it is a bad thing

    I guess its just the forum section title that annoys me a little "cesarean section support"
    I too was like LisaL without mine both my daughter and I would most likely not had made it

    Maybe the section needs to be renamed as I can only see the support section and the VBAC section what about people that where quite happy with their cesarean birth or going for an elective that simply want information without feeling like that are taking the easy option or second best.

    These are only my opinion hope not to offend others

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