this is correct. if YOU have a debt, and YOUR return arriving at FAO is the one to trigger reco, you have no choice. your partner does though. if your information arrives before your partner though, your tax money won't be held up indefinitely waiting for reco to occur when your partner return arrives. this would be what happened with your Tinks - your information would have arrived several days before your other halfs, and you tax money released back to ATO to release to you before ATO gave FAO your partners return. had it been the other way around (his first), you would have had your return with held to pay against your FAO debt
there is no provision for FTB or ATO top ups to be used to pay against a debt raised against PPP - FAO reco payments are still paid even if PP debts exist. if you've had ATO payments with held against PPP debts, it would have been from a mercenary agent, not FAO
your online services will never show the specifics of DH's income for privacy reasons - what you will see is your information, and then the total family income at the bottom of the actual income.
In general:
CCB/CCR top ups can be used to pay current and previous year CCB/CCR debts only
FTB reco top ups can be withheld to pay current and previous year FTB reco, CCB/CCR or ATO debts
ATO tax returns can be withheld to pay current and previous year ATO, FTB reco, CCB/CCR debts
there is no choice in this - it is automatically actioned - you always have the right to appeal, but you have to show how legislation is wrong or unforseen hardship.
DMB, without seeing the specifics, it sounds like you are still getting a top up to come to you - whether it comes from ATO or from FAO is hard to say - most likely, your debt for an 11/12 year would be paid from any reco payment you are entitled to in the first instance (as FAO and CCR/CCB would reconcile at same time) and only what is left to be paid would come from your tax return. if it was a previous year debt (10/11 or earlier) it would be deducted from whichever lump sum was available first (generally your tax return)





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