the child support is in no way related to the access to the child - they are two very seperate things

first thing - don't leave the child support agency - if she is trying to black mail you guys into paying more now, imagine what it may end up being if she knows she can win?

if she witholds access to the child and you don't have court orders in place - seek mediation immediately. get parenting orders in place. if you think she will try this again, get the parenting orders put through the court system to make them court orders. if she witholds care, she is then in contempt of court

contact the family relationships advice line for more advice

but mostly - do not give in! seriously - she is using your DSS in a twisted game to get more money. he is a child with emotions that she is screwing with - he is not a pawn in her game - don't let her play the game - call her bluff, contact FRAL and get advice and do it ALL above board. keep records of all contacts, all comments - and when it comes to mediation, lay it on the table. you have said x to get y. he is paying more than he has to - this is for the wellbeing of DSS, NOT to support the lifestyle you believe you should be having - and it in no means constitutes as payment for me spending time with DSS

sigh - people that play this game drive me insane - children are people with hearts and brains - and they work it out damn quick!