I've been trying to decide if I should just forget about it & take the credit for doing it all myself, but I think it'd be different if I only had one. I think if I only had the one child life would be completely different. It wouldn't really be a huge amount I'd be missing out on & I'd have more options with being able to work full time etc.

But when there's 4 of them its just so hard to get by week to week without it. I'm doing it, but I've had enough. He's screwed us over in every way possible. His kids are his last control over me & he's loving that I'm not getting anything out of him. He wins that way. That's kind of why I don't want to give up. I refuse to let him win in any way. And its not all about CSA. They've all had birthdays & a Christmas & he hasn't bothered with any of it. He's even promised DD1 $100 for her birthday... that was 6 weeks ago. I don't care if you don't follow through, but don't promise her!

I'm really ticked off that his boss could be such a tosser. He's helping him deny my kids. So is the girlfriend who's happily playing innocent in all this. His own mother told me to take him to court, but I'm not so sure that's a good idea.

I just don't know.