Ok Im going to reply here even though I normally don't reply on these topics.

We have the same as you 50/50 care. The CSA is worked out using my income and his dads income, with the guise of what the paying parent would have contributed IF they were still together, then he pays what they have said. So if he ears more than I then he pays me and if I were to earn more than him I would pay BUT IF I have other dependant children that affects my rate the same as if he had other dependant children it would change his. And by dependant I mean biological only not -step children. That is to cover his part of the child's BASIC NEEDS. Basic needs via csa are, Shelter,food,clothing, schooling including uniforms and supplies. General medical, General dental ect.
Normally extras are not included BUT can be if both parties agree upon it. That being said if a mum or dad is happy to say they will pay for extras ONTOP of the CSA I think that is fantastic and really why wouldn't they?? One thing that poo's me off is when they have other children they will pay extras for but wont pay for the extras of the child they pay cs for. Why is one child more entitled than the other? They shouldn't be at all.

We are lucky and when ds has a specialist apt we pay for it BUT his dad will then pay for this therapy, Why, Because its fair. Its still his child and he wants the best for him. Child support only covers the basic needs not the other needs/wants.

All children should be equal in my opinion. How would you feel if you were the single one who receives cs and you struggle somewhat and your ex goes onto re-marry or partner and has children with her and gives those children everything BUT refuse's so pay half for your child to play a sport when he pays for his "other" kids too. Bet you wouldn't be happy? And it should be the same vise versa. But don't complain that a parent pays extra so their child can do sport and its making things tight for yous if the children who live you play sport that he helps pay for too that's just not right. If things are tight cut back for all the kids, don't pick and choose as they all have equal right to the love and support from both parents. Believe me kids know when they are treated different from the other parents "new kids" and it hurts them. NOW having said that Im NOT saying that's what YOU do. I was just generalising.


Thanks. I think that many of the people replying don't really understand what my question is. It seems that you do.
I love my partner's children like my own. I pay for his daughter to do ice skating lessons on the weekend, violin lessons etc. Her mother contributes nothing towards these, and I don't expect her to as these are activities that I choose to do with the children. I am more than happy to pay half of swimming fees and ballet fees because these were activities that the children started before their parents split up.

In terms of child support payments, I would expect that this money is SUPPOSED to go towards medical, dental and schooling costs. I don't understand why we are paying extra for these things. I will take your advise and get further legal advise regarding this situation.

I don't want the children to miss out and they don't. I do, however want US to be able to do things with our combined family more rather than just pouring money into someone else's bank account. Even if all the money is being used appropriately for the children, I don't understand why WE can't be giving them that rather than their mother...

thanks again.
Now in reply to this. I wouldn't pay the whole amount of them to do things while with her I would suggest only half as its an extra not a need. She may not pay for the things they do while with you do to not affording it,If that's not the reason then Maybe your partner needs to discuss this with her as that to me isn't right either. My son's dad pays half of some extras while he is with us and we DONT when he is with him but that's because he and we understand we cant afford it and he can plus some. BUT again that's his choice we don't make him. Maybe you could come to an agreement that they do x activities with her and x with yous and you all just pay your own seen as there doing things at both homes, as opposed to only doing it at one home iykwim.

Now what is the extra covering for the dental, medical and schooling cost? If you don't mind me asking, as general ones are covered by your cs. If its some thing like brace's then yes she can request their dad help. Same with medical normal doc appts and medication is covered but if it were for say a specialist or therapy ect then again she can ask that he help.
Im all about it being fair and all children being equal, its not like they asked to be in the position there in. I would sit down with him and gently explain your concerns, and work out what is fair and ok for yous.Then I would ask him to talk to her about it as she may not take it kindly from you,then again she will prob blame you anyway if she's loosing some of the things she has gotten away with so far. But it sounds like you do a lot with he kids when you ha them, so I don't see why you would have to pay for what she does with them, it would be different if yous didn't do anything with them.
Hope this is coming out right, My keyboards dying and I have to keep adding in missed letters haha