I have had a vent on here about DD's behaviour before but it's getting worse.

First i thought it must be because of the new baby and she is worried her daddy will be 'taken off her' etc. Totally normal i know and she has been a very anxious person since she was a baby. But i think it's more than that now, although i'm not sure what.

DH is almost to the point of leaving because of this. I just wish i knew what was going on inside her head, so i can fix it. I know she doesnt mean to be naughty as she has told me herself. But this can't go on.

A little example. Last week DD was being extremely naughty to DH. Hitting him with her fists and other objects, spitting at him, telling him she hates him and does not love him, telling him to leave, to go away. So he did go away (just to the shops) and as soon as he left she went off. She was bawling, saying to me, im sorry im sorry, i want daddy back please come back, im sorry. So i know she does love him and doesnt want him to leave at all. But why does she say it? I know she doesnt understand what hate means but she does know it is to hurt feelings and that is what she is doing, she said so herself.

I will add, this ONLY happens if DH and I are in the same room/together. If DH is on the computer, she leaves him alone, because he is not with me. When DH is at work she is fine with me. When she is naughty she goes to her room straight away then comes out and says sorry, give a hug and kiss. When DH is home and we send her to her room she will just reply with 'but i will just come back out again'.

So most of the time DH and I don't spend time together because she doesn't allow us to. DH is either on the computer or i am laying down in bed. Because then she is a perfectly behaved little girl and doesn't even want his/my attention.

DH and i rarely ever fight but this is tearing us apart. And poor DD's head is probably all mush because of what she is doing. I am sure she has no idea what is going on with her emotions/behaviour.

I'm so worried about how DH is aswell. He certainly doesn't feel loved (even though he knows she does love him) and he doesnt know what to do. His answer is for him to leave. He doesn't want to but he says is there any other choice?

I'm sick of everyone tell me it's just normal 4 year old behaviour or, it's just a phase, or she's just a naughty little girl. I know it is more than this and i know she needs help in some way. But will taking her to see someone help at all? Because i have no idea what else to try. I take her to my Chiropractor and we thought that was working for a bit but its not and i also started giving her fish oil tablets but thats not helping either. Even a rewards system has no effect.