Help neede with naughty 2 y/o.

[mummy of many]

Gee ladies I dont know where to begin,our 4th child who is a little over two now has been having behavourial problems right from day one when he was born.His tantrums are getting worse and now i cringe at the thought of going shopping anywhere in public and little things that dont make sence to me or DH which set off these tantrums,for eg- asking him to wait for his bottle as iam doing something,changeing the tv channel,wanting to change his nappy.God so many things set him off into a rage screaming crying,yelling,can anyone give me some advice or tell me what i shoould do with him,My DH and i are starting to fight because of his behavior,we have had 5 kids,but this fellow is ferral. Any help or advice is so much appreciated, just getting more and more depressed about this. thanks to all.

[christy]

Sorry I moved this & didn't answer.

Matilda was similar to that. I went to a "strong willed" child seminar when she was 2 an was surprised to how strong willed they can be from early on. Shops were a horrible experience for us, still are...
Although we have found that Matilda has "other" issues going no which results in difficult behaviours, I can say the coping skills and survival of the mummy skills is something I have had to work very hard on!

For one, you need 30 minutes a day to yourself. This may sound impossible, but its vital for your stress levels. My 30 minutes may take on the form of a shower and a slow getting ready, including moisturising.... skin care etc... on my own without an audience!

For two, you need to be easy on yourself. You have an older daughter, and a younger bub. So having difficult behaviour can make you feel like you are doing something "wrong" or "different" from your other children. You need to remember that you are the right mummy for your son.

And 3rd, if you don't have support around, where someone can watch him while you run to the shops etc, you need to find something. I don't have close support here, so Matilda went into Family Day Care one day a week so I could run to the shops, run errands, stuff that was nearly impossible to do with her around. This isn't being lazy, this isn't being a bad mother.... this is survival!

I used to beat myself up for it, I used to think that I was a bad parent for not being able to take my child to the shops without a massive tantrum. Only recently, I have found out that Matilda has sensory issues and it would actually hurt her to go to the shops, so the good parent doesn't take their child somewhere that would hurt them.

At 2, its almost too young to do some diagnostic stuff on behaviour like sensory stuff, but it may be worth while reading a bit and seeing if some of it fits. If it does, start to avoid those situations with him for now. Its the best thing for you & your sanity so that you can be the best mum to him

[mummy of many]

Hi ,thanks for that advice Christy, I?m looking into putting him into day care a couple of days,just wondering if this might help having lots of things to do and new friends to make.I know his behavior has got worse since having our baby,but he has always been a challenging child.You love your children but you wonder what happens when there like this,it gets you down,its a strain on your relationship with DH and the other kids have to put up with listening to the same crap day in, day out, ykwim.