How did you react..feel........

[maz]

Its been quiet a week in the Bourke residences

Wilhelm has been lashing out at me...physically and emotionally due to the many changes at school this year (wilhelm has Autism just incase you dont know)

So his new thing is telling me he hates me

It is absolutely breaking my heart.

I know he means it...he is very intellegant and wont speak to me when he's really bad. Ive tried explaining to him that it hurts my feelings...even to when I exploded and told him I hated him and asked if he liked me hating him.

I feel so gutted and its made me really depressed

how did you cope when your child told you they hated you..I need some coping strategies for me...cause im not taking it very well

[kirsty_lee]

babe I don't know from personally experience cause Ava is too young for that (can't wait for it though but I know he is smart but does he fully understand what the word 'hate' means though? Or is he just expressing himself in anger. I know it must hurt terribly though, I hope you find the answers your after babe

[Turkish Delight]

My heart goes out to you.

I have a gifted boy too and most of time will yell at us, screams and causes a riot to unfold at home (which eventually gets me and DH to argue).

I believe that they really don't mean what they say. I believe it is a way for them to get their anger out because they are gifted/intelligent and their minds must work at a million times per minute. We don't understand what they are thinking, how they are thinking, what they are going through as we are not like them.

I really, honestly don't feel that he hates his mummy when your little boy says that. Just try and understand as to what he may be feeling and thinking when he says that he 'hates' you. I know it is hard to accept what he says, when you love him so dearly.

Do you have access to trained people in the area of autism which you could ask?

Goodluck xxoo

[Willow]

Maz, you poor thing

I agree though that he doesn't actually hate you - he is just verbalising his anger and frustration. Or perhaps he is seeing that it hurts you and is just lashing out, trying to hurt your feelings?

I don't know, my DD has never said it to me and I don't begin to understand the complexities of a child with autism, but I really don't think he means it.

I bet you're the whole world to that little fella, and who could blame him?

[maz]

TD - I rung the school straight away as it was something from there that triggered it.....they have been really good ever since and now understand why I put my foot down with certain things.

I asked him why he hates me and he said cause I really dont like you and you are mean its alla bout his dame DS lite

I must add that when he was saying it to me, he was punching me and kicking my in the head (he dragged me down by grabbing my hiar that was in a plait after I tried to get down on his level)

Im very lost atm and feel like a failure to him

[saslia]

Hugs :-)

I have found with DD who has ADHD and anxiety issues that changing her diet to as low additive as possible has helped with the anger and the Ihate you's. We have been following "Additive Alert" and also read a lot on Failsafe.

It can be heartbreaking I know but you are a wonderful Mum and need to remember that. Good Luck.