ok set up a roster.
ds gets control over choice of games activity etc from 10-12 say then from 1-3 DD chooses, between 12-1 its what mum says and lunch time so sit down and eat, make it fun lunch even fruit sticks and sandwhiches cut into cool shapes etc. DS loves this he is 9.
time before 10 is individual play so they can read or do whatever, but if arguing occurs they loose their privilage to choose an activity.
after 3 is settle down time, afternoon snack, and outside time. its amazing what you can get them to do and just remind them if they argue they loose the privilage of choosing an activity.
if it makes it easier for you give them a choice of 3 or 4 things you can all do and then let them choose one.
i do this with DS i give him 3 options and he chooses, they could be, go to the pool, go for a ride or play down teh park with the footy etc. his choice then i remind him we all do it as a family but your leading the activity.. he likes the idea of being the leader.
then i say ok DD's choice now she is only 2 but will choose something given the option and i get DS to play with us as a family and he has to follow.
teaches them both respect, leadership adn that it isnt always your way compramise is key in life..
and a good bottle of red at the end of teh night helps as well.
oh adn cooking, DS would cook all day if he got to decorate the cake and eat the icing lol
Kawazuki - thanks heaps those are some great suggestions! I spoke to them today about changing the way they speak to each other. Because a lot of the time they're not even arguing or fighting but it sounds like they are IYKWIM? Instead of just saying "no" quietly they will both blow up straight away and scream "NO" and then the kicking starts...
Agghhhh!
And Lulu - I just googled velcro wall blankets and up came this post lol!
I think zero tolerance sounds like a good plan. You probably know that being proactive is always the best thing to do. It is really really hard to do but try to be positive and keep your talk positive all the time ... if you find yourself constantly 'at them' about their fighting, it is just adding one more voice to the conflict IYKWIM. I find that I get into a pattern where once DD1 and DS's behaviour get on top of me, I get snappy and it doesn't help anything.
When I get snappy, I give them quiet play times in their rooms (try to make it sound positive) which is them having some time to themselves. They get to choose a couple of toys from the playroom and have a 20 min playtime by themselves. They need this sometimes too - I think they enjoy not having to fight about toys for a few mins. This gives me a chance to have a coffee and decide to be positive and turn it around when they come out. I decide that I am not going to yell, I am going to talk in a quiet voice, I will pay attention to and compliment good behaviour choices, I will ignore poor behaviour choices and use time out and cool down effectively. I tell my kids that if they are going to fight, that is them telling me that they need to have some cool down time and I will send them to cool down if they can't stop. It sounds much more positive than time out and it is not so much of a punishment as an opportunity to settle down and come back when they can play nicely.
On the issue of boredom - don't feel bad about not organising something for your kids every minute of every day. It is important that they can entertain themselves to some extent. I try to build in a bit of quiet playtime in their own space everyday (DS has become very reliant on DD1 to entertain him resulting in lots of issues) so that they are both having the opportunity to play how they like.
There are some simple ideas for giving them something to do for 8 weeks. Your kids are old enough that you can sit down with them and write a plan for the holidays and give them things to look forward to. You can do theme days like 'Pjama day' or a fairytale character day. Have them think of some things they would like to do and write it down on a chart and put it on the fridge.
I would write more but I have to go for now. I hope some of those suggestions were useful. I only have a 1 and 2 yo and I know how all day bickering can do your head in ... I can't imagine how bad it would be once they are older - argh! Good luck with everything and I hope you can have a really enjoyable 8 weeks at home with your kids.
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Are you serious??? Bahaha what did they say to him??
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