ok set up a roster.
ds gets control over choice of games activity etc from 10-12 say then from 1-3 DD chooses, between 12-1 its what mum says and lunch time so sit down and eat, make it fun lunch even fruit sticks and sandwhiches cut into cool shapes etc. DS loves this he is 9.

time before 10 is individual play so they can read or do whatever, but if arguing occurs they loose their privilage to choose an activity.
after 3 is settle down time, afternoon snack, and outside time. its amazing what you can get them to do and just remind them if they argue they loose the privilage of choosing an activity.

if it makes it easier for you give them a choice of 3 or 4 things you can all do and then let them choose one.

i do this with DS i give him 3 options and he chooses, they could be, go to the pool, go for a ride or play down teh park with the footy etc. his choice then i remind him we all do it as a family but your leading the activity.. he likes the idea of being the leader.

then i say ok DD's choice now she is only 2 but will choose something given the option and i get DS to play with us as a family and he has to follow.

teaches them both respect, leadership adn that it isnt always your way compramise is key in life..


and a good bottle of red at the end of teh night helps as well.

oh adn cooking, DS would cook all day if he got to decorate the cake and eat the icing lol