What does she do now? (Long)

[HotI]

"just give up on me mum, give up on me" then she ran away bawling...

I wonder if there may be a mental health issue causing some of these behaviours or following on from them. Is there depression or other illnesses in the family?

Do you reckon your sister and your Mum would want to check is side out?

take care,

Kate

[Cupcake]

Lulu the post it idea is GREAT! I might suggest that one to mum! Personally i think she has A LOT of energy and she needs to be playing sports to releive it IYKWIM, they tried to sign her up for sports this year but were too late.

No history of mental illness in the fam kate, no doctors have taken mum seriously thus far so not sure how she would go with that one, i know she is seeking out other doctors in her area but living in a smallish town youre kind of limited IYKWIM...i think its definately an issue within her tho, be it mental illness or something a little less serious, i just hope that someone will take mums concerns seriously soon and not palm it off as typical teenage behaviour

[mrsmac]

Google - Borderline personality disorder, not sure if this fits all her behaviours but you may find some answers. Its a fairly newish diagnosis and is not recognised by all in mental health but may be worth exploring.

[diannescruffy]

I'm only thinking out loud here but what is her school work like, is it possible she has learning difficulty. Thinking back to her grade 3 episode of skipping the day, often children who have learning difficulties will misbehave to take away the attention from their school work, just a thought.

Regards,
Dianne

[Cupcake]

School work is non existent...she plays up in class which is the reason for all of her suspensions, do you think a tutour would help?

[diannescruffy]

A tutor would help but only if she's prepared to put in the work. I would be speaking to the school they really should be providing her with (not sure what they are called) but at my kids school they have aids who help one-on-one with the children who have learning difficulties and they also have special programmes which they run for these kids. The school should be doing more for her. This could have a great deal to do with her actions, she may be getting picked on at school, other kids seeing that she is not as smart as them etc.

Regards,
Dianne

[mrsmac]

I would see if the school counsellor wcan give her an academic assesment to see if there are any underlying learning difficulties.
I think a teacher's aid would embarrass her and wouldn't work but some tutoring would be good.

[Dr. Tal]

Hey Amy,

One very big thing that your sister has going for her is an obviously supportive family. You'd be surprised what a difference that can make. Something else that says there is still a lot of hope is that she doesn't want to be that way and she apologises for it.

My mum teaches 6th 7th and 8th graders with emotional and behavioral disabilites (so a similar age group to your sister). If you don't have a problem with it, I'll copy your post and e-mail it to her and see if she knows of any 'disability' type that matches some of the stuff you've written.

I know one thing that sticks in my mind, and I don't know whether mum was telling me about it or I saw it on TV somewhere or where I got it from. But there was a girl who had outbursts, similarish to your sisters (and from memory she was about the same age as your sister as well), but she got violent as well. Her parents went from doctor to doctor and specialist to specialist and everyone said basically the same things that were said to your mum. Teenagers being teenagers, or she needs more discipline etc.. But she was eventually diagnosed with turrets (not sure if I spelled that right) syndrome. It's the one that causes people to have tics. These are usually just small sounds or movements or whatnot, but they can be more obvious and worse and her tic was these yelling violent outbursts. So she couldn't help it. She didn't want to do what she was doing and she would feel horrible about it after and cry and apologise, but it was literally out of her control. I can't remember if they gave her meds or did brain surgery or something, but basically they 'fixed the problem' and she is now a 'normal' teenager living a 'normal' life.

[Cupcake]

I definately agree with mrsmac in that a teachers aid would embarrass her but will most definately look into provate tutoring, even if i have to pay for it.

Thanks tal, if your mum would like to take a look that would be fantastic! My understanding of Turrets (sp?) is that it is involuntary? Where as her outbursts whilst they are more dramatic then she wants them to be, they are directed at certain situations IYKWIM

Thank you all so much for your advice!!

[Dr. Tal]

Amy,
Here is what my mum had to say.

Hey babe,
Don't know if I can help ot not. It sounds like an emotional disorder to me or a conduct disorder. If it is an emotional disorder I would have her tested by a psycologist. A child with an emotional disorder has really no control over their rages and usually apologise and really don't remember what happened. I would recommend the WISC test. I think they are using edition 4 now. Then there are a couple more tests that can be done. I don't know if the schools there have testing done by psychologists for disabilities. We have one on staff and the school pays for it. I don't know if she can go that way or not.
The other problem could be conduct disorder which the child knows right from wrong but chooses to do the wrong thing anyway and then show little or no remorse. There isn't much you can do for conduct disorder becuase the child is making choices knowing the consequences.
Having a psychologist do testing will tell you whether it is a conduct disorder or emotional disorder. This is what we have on our permission to evaluate form that the parent signs giving permission for the testing to take place. It should give some idea of what testing should be done.
Psychological Evaluation is designed to assess personality and/or behavioral functioning. Commonly used evaluation methods include parent and child interviews, personality inventories, behavior rating scales and projective tests.

Let me know if it helps.
Love You MUM

Hope that helps some.

[Cupcake]

Thank you so much tal!! I will now forward that to my mum hehe!! xo