Registered User
I just want to point out that this lady has given me no reason to doubt her ability as a FDC provider. She seems genuine and lovely. Her house is spotless and she's had 15 years experience.
I spoke to DH about it. He said it's her home also and that she's probaly allowed to have visitors, but to call FDC and ask anyway.
I guess why I didn't say anything is because we've only been going there less than a month and I don't want to seem untrusting. But, I know I can take a chance with my DS's safety, just because I don't want to hurt her feelings.
It's been a big decision for me to send him there and now I'm worried that it's the wrong decision anyway. I spoke with my Mum this afternoon and she seemed to think I was over-reacting and kept telling me how good it is for him to be away from me (even though I sit at home a pine for him when he's there).
I'm going to call FDC head office tomorrow, so I'll let you know what they say. I wanted to thank you all for your replies and support. I was worried that I was just going to be called a paranoid mother.
Registered User
he's your child - you're going to stress when he's not with you - esp if you essentially have nothing else you "have" to do without him!
make your call - find out what you need to find out. you're not paranoid - you're a normal mum wanting what is ultimately best for her child!
Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
Nope not paranoid at all.
Registered User
I tried to edit my post, but it's not working, so I'll post again.
The man was in his late 40's early 50's, so no chance of being her son. I do remember her telling the little girl eating lunch that "Uncle Jack" was there dropping off something she needed. Now, there's no way he was that little girl's uncle, so obviously a name she uses for the kids. I know her ex husband's name is Michael, so it's not her ex...
Will wait and see what FDC head office say.
Registered User
I have just started working in FDC and we definatley have to have safety screenings for any regular visitors and all family members over the age of 18 yrs.
I would definately be checking up on that if I were you.
Registered User
sorry just read your other post, good luck with it all, xxxx
Registered User
good luck hun...your like any normal mum. xxxx
BellyBelly Member
I think better safe than sorry. Ultimately, it is much easier for you to ask questions now than pick up the pieces later. Alarm bells are going off in your head and that's great it means you are thinking about the welfare of your child. Don't ignore them just because other people think you are over-reacting.
Registered User
Thank you again girls for all your wonderful replies. My DH called FDC head office and they basically said, unless it's a regular visitor to the property, then there are no guidelines. That doesn't make me feel any better at all! I chose FDC over child care, because I thought he'd do better with a one on one environment and the he'd get the same person each time he went. But, now I feel like I've got no way of protecting him. Will have to have a long think and a big discussion with DH over the weekend.
Registered User
Would depend on your state regulations (and also scheme policies)
Ours states that only regular visitors or people who live or stay at the house have to undergo police checks. My 16yo had to sign a Working with Children declaration as well.
Visitors should sign in and out on a visitor sheet which must be visible to all parents daily.
Manners would have been to introduce you to this person, who obviously visits on occasions.
Registered User
celsie, hope it all works out.. choosing childcare is not easy....
let's see what the lady says abt the man.
is the fdc head office part of the franchise or the government body?
here's a fact sheet abt FDCfrom the NCAC
http://www.ncac.gov.au/factsheets/fd...protection.pdf
you can also search your FDC here, and see what their history is....
Search for Child Care - National Childcare Accreditation Council
hope this helps a little
Registered User
Ok...maybe i'm being a little out of line and I hope I don't offend anyone.
But... Like i said before Maybe she thought you'd met before. Maybe it was just a slip of the mind....
Yes you have EVERY single right to be worried about your childs safety.
However if you are concerned and are worried about it...i would simply ask who it was. How do you know it wasn't just that, an uncle, did you check the visitors book to see if yes they signed in or out??? Was the carer with the guy...he wasn't left alone with the kids???
I don't feel that you can judge what a carer is like based off this one experience, especially if you haven't clarified any of the details yourself.
My FDC mum has her parents there on occasion and also her grown up kids. While they get more one on one attention in FDC i believe it is also good to expose them to other people/visitors.
I just think that until you have ALL the details (eg you ask and find out who it is) you shouldn't make any huge decisions that could later have an impact upon your son.
PS. Like i said in the begining...this is my opinion and if offend anyone i'm sorry.
Administrator
No offence taken Jennjorja... its just like an evaluated risk, you need to be comfortable with it in order to it. And some are and some aren't and thats ok. I don't think removing a child from FDC is going to have any life long affects or every child who didn't do FDC would be suffering.
BUT I do agree you should address this with your carer before making any decisions. However if you feel that regardless of what your carer will explain to you, you will still not be comfortable then that is ok too. Some people just don't like the idea of alternative care and thats ok.
Registered User
I absolutly agree. I'm not saying don't do something you don't feel comfortable with but think about all sides of the story first.
Good luck with this. xx
Registered User
I think you are right Jenni, some peple like the "family" aspect of FDC whilst others obviously feel it is risky, I guess you are the only person who can decide what you are prepared to risk Celsie.
Registered User
My FDC lady will not allow any visitors to the house when she's got kids. The exceptions to this is if they have relatives visiting from interstate which has happened a few times, but she always introduces them and always tells me at least a few days before they arrive that they are coming.
Our carer and her husband are in their late 60's or early 70's at least and the lady is the qualified carer. While the husband is home, he doesn't look after the kids, or even hold them, with the exception of their grandson who is 2 and is one of the kids they look after.
Occasionally their youngest daughter (who is probably in her late 20's early 30's) lives at the house but she is rarely home when the kids are there as she works. Everyone who lives in the house has been police checked and any time they have visitors staying from interstate they always notify the head office.
In your case, I think you have every right to know who the person was and how often they visit. I'm just not sure how you would word it to ask.
Registered User
I agree it's odd that she didn't introduce you to the man. Don't feel paranoid. Maybe instead of asking directly "who was that man in your kitchen last week?" maybe ask in a broader context; "I was wondering what the FDC policey is about other visiting adults in your home during hours of care?" And if she doesn't know then add that you'd personally feel more comfortable knowing what other people were around your child while he was using her FDC service.
I feel that whether children are being cared for in a centre or in FDC they are all entitled to a basic standard of care and this includes what adults they are exposed to. I don't want to worry you any more than you already are but just because it's a family home doesn't make it safe. Statistically that's where children are most likely to be hurt.... in a family home.
I sympathsise with your own childhood experience of abuse and encourage you to follow your instincts.
Registered User
Just thought I'd give you an update. I had DS booked into care today for three hours the afternoon. I'd mentioned it quite a few times in the morning before he had his nap, because I feel it's better for him to have some sort of warning that he'll be going.
When DS woke up, I gave him lunch and said, "Okay, it's time to go to day care"... and he lost it. I'm not sure why, but it took ages for me to get him settled down. I sent the lady a text and explained that he wasn't coping and that I'd keep him home with me today. I also said that we were expecting the baby to arrive by the weekend, and DH is having six weeks off, so I'd let her know if he'd be coming back during that time, once we see how he handles having a sibling in the house. She text back that it was fine, and that she hoped that there was no issue with the level of care.
I don't have an issue with her level of care at all. As far as I can tell, as a person, she seems very lovely, genuine and caring. I haven't decided to pull him out completely, I'm just going to give it a break for now and have a think about it over the next couple weeks.
Thank you all for your comments and suggestions, I really appreciate your replies.
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