Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 18 of 51

Thread: Is this allowed in Family Day Care?

  1. #1

    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Adelaide
    Posts
    1,696

    Question Is this allowed in Family Day Care?

    I'll give you some background. I was someone who said they'd never use FDC, because I saw no need for it when I'm a SAHM. A friend of mine (fellow SAHM) enrolled her son for 3 hours a week and suggested I do the same for DS, as it will help him in the long run, learning to be with someone other than Mummy and with the new baby due any day, it would give me a break and some one on one time with the new baby. I thought about it and decided that it wouldn't hurt and we'd give it a go.

    I met the lady and did a tour of her house and all seemed fine. He's been going for a few weeks now and I decided I'd make it twice a week (2 X 3 hour sessions) as it was decided he might cope better if it was more regular, more routine. Her profile stated that she was single and had two grown-up children and a grandchild.



    Anyway, I was late dropping him off this afternoon because DS overslept his afternoon nap. When I got there, there was a car in the driveway with no carseats in the back, so obviously not a parent. When we went inside, the FDC lady was there with one of the other kids and here was a man there also. He was standing in the kitchen and it looked like he'd made himself lunch, or had just finished, but he seemed very comfortable in his surroundings. I said "hello" and he said "hello" back, but that was it. The FDC lady offered me no introduction and continued feeding lunch to the other child. I chatted with her as I got DS organised and after about five minutes, the man just left, without saying goodbye to anyone.

    I thought it was really strange that she didn't offer any explanation as to who this man was or why he was there. I mean, if he's her boyfriend, brother or just a friend, wouldn't you just say so?

    So my question is, do FDC providers have to disclose if they have a "male friend" who will be at the house during times where you child will be there?

    I'm terrified about paedophiles and do not feel comfortable about DS being exposed to adults, especially men who I've never met and know nothing about. I know it sounds like I'm just being paranoid, but as I was molested as a child and never want to put my son in a situation where it could happen to him.

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Funky Town, Vic
    Posts
    7,070

    Default

    Hmm, I dunno. He could have been her brother but how are you supposed to know if she doesn't introduce you????

    I think its only right that you know who is in the house with your children.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    8,986

    Default

    Hmm... I'm not sure if that's OK or not. Would he have to have a working with children check to be int he house with them?

    I agree you should have been introduced.

  4. #4

    Default

    well i dont think they are supposed to have visitors during their hours of operation. i know that EVERYONE living in the house and possibly even visiting the house need to have child protection blue card. if it was me i would have been a little worried either. she should have introduced you.

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    In my own private paradise
    Posts
    15,272

    Default

    when mum did FDC, if there were adults that were regularly in the house, they had to notify the council she was employed by and that person had a police check to confirm they were ok to be there. but being a home environment, people will sometimes just drop by - it would be rude to stop them coming in i guess.... i really depends on what access they have to the children - if he was in the kitchen and not in direct contact with the children....

    she's told you she has older children, perhaps it was her son or something. i dunno. if you are uncomfy, mention it to her - that you just want to make sure you know what other adults are going to be in the house when your son is there....

  6. #6
    feeb's Avatar
    feeb is offline Thankful for the kindness of my 2012 RAK making me Life member

    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    melb
    Posts
    8,498

    Default

    I think you should know who is in the house with your kids.

    We had a family friend who did FDC for years and we would often visit her when she still had kids but kids knew who person was by name and if parents turned up we were introduced. (diff is small country town and this was 12 years ago)

    This is 1 of many reasons why I am not comfortable to use FDC.

  7. #7

    Default

    I'm not sure about FDC but I know with LDC we are not allowed to have persons in the centre who do not hold a blue card to ensure they have had their backgrounds looked into. This includes if I need to get the plumber in to unblock a loo or anything.
    Why don't you ring the FDC assoc to check?

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Edens Landing, Yes its actually a place
    Posts
    147

    Default

    Just ask her who he was. I don't know the rules surrounding FDC but if you are concerned call the FDC association they should be able to tell you the rules.
    Always trust your gut!!!

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Tassie
    Posts
    2,567

    Default

    It isn't actually ok. I think they have to let you know and all people that will be around the children are required to get a police check. Maybe ask next time you drop him off. Could it have been her grown up child?

  10. #10

    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Sydney NSW
    Posts
    4,837

    Default

    My FDC lady recently had family stay as her MIL was dying, they were in the house but totally seperate to where the kids were. Apart from that i trust my carer implicitly and have known her and her family for years so it doesn't bother me that her teenage kids are often home (I taught 2 of them anyway!) and that her father is sometimes over, to me that is part of the joy of FDC- the normality of being in a Family not an institution.
    I guess since you don't know your carer you should ask her straight out and express your concerns to her first before you go higher up.
    IMO the working with children checks mean nothing, I have heard of too many situations where people in positions of trust have still abused children, most abusers are not who you think they are going to be- often they are happily married or have their own kids and good jobs etc.

  11. #11

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Sydney, NSW
    Posts
    4,329

    Default

    yes, you have the right to know. seems weird that she didnt introduce him, apart from the fact it was rude....
    as the girls suggested, may ring the assoc and ask what are the rules regarding having visitors, and then when you ask her, she cant really tell you otherwise.
    also, having visitors distracts her from looking after the children...

  12. #12

    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Ubiquity
    Posts
    9,922

    Default

    Given what happened here in Vic where the older son (19) was molesting the children, I would not be comfortable with this and I would bring it up no matter how uncomfortable it would seem.

  13. #13

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    In a cloud of madness.
    Posts
    4,053

    Default

    i would just ask. If the carer is worth anything she'll happily tell you who it is.
    Chances are everything is fine... maybe she thought you'd met at some other stage???

  14. #14

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    In a land of bubbles and trouble
    Posts
    1,479

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Niliac View Post
    I would not be comfortable with this and I would bring it up no matter how uncomfortable it would seem.
    I am not trying to guilt you by any means hun - but I wouldn't have left without asking who he was and what he was doing there - you are paying her for a service, you are the client.

    It may be a bit awkward but if you ask upfront, it will leave the door for the future - otherwise you are defeating the purpose of having your DS in FDC by worrying about him

  15. #15

    Default

    My FDC leader told me that the carers must tell you verbally or in writing if anyone else is going to be in the home. I also have to sign off to say i am aware of others being there too.

    Id be very uncomfortable if my children were around people not normally in the home and more so if i wasnt told/introduced to them.

  16. #16

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Funky Town, Vic
    Posts
    7,070

    Default

    I'd still want to see a blue card or whatever it is.....

  17. #17

    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    In my own private paradise
    Posts
    15,272

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lulu View Post
    I'd still want to see a blue card or whatever it is.....
    playing devil's advocate here - but that is only good for reporting things the person has been caught for. kinda pointless really - the police check means nothing - particularly in situations like the one Niliac mentioned - he was 19, he may have offended previously, but probably didn't have a record. those cards ONLY show whether they passed a check of their record in regard to sexual and physical abuse cases they've been convicted of...

    you need to be confident that your carer has your childs best interests at heart, that the child is never left unsupervised with anyone else etc.

  18. #18

    Default

    Hi Celsie

    That wouldn't sit right with me either. I'd be politely asking some questions too

    (BTW..Good luck for the birth!!!! Can't wait to hear all about your new bundle and it's journey into the world x).

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •