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Thread: Childcare for Socialisation...?

  1. #1

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    Question Childcare for Socialisation...?

    i'm wanting to get some opinions and advice.

    my soon to be 15month old DD is looked after by her doting grandparents while I'm at work, which ranges from 2-5 times a week, but is usually 3 days... we try to make it to playgroup or mothers group once a week, although depending if im at work or what we have on, sometimes we don't make it. The last 5 weeks I've worked full time so we haven't been AT ALL.

    my mum is often saying my dd doesn't get to see any other children and is ALWAYS played with by adults, which I guess is pretty true. I mentioned I was thinking of putting her into childcare for one afternoon or day a week to help with socialisation and my mum was fairly hesitant and said she thought she was too young just yet (they are possibly over protective).

    anyways i guess im just wrought with guilt, its my first day off (besides the weekend) in 4 weeks tomorrow and I just want to enjoy my daughter and have a lazy day in pj's and run a few errands, I just don't think I can be bothered going to playgroup, but at the same time it keeps ringing in my ears how my dd never gets to see any other children (and when she does, she's completely fascinated and her face lights up)...

    How much interaction with other kids do your children get? I'm specifically interested in the 12-18 month range... Do you think its important at this age, or more important when they are a bit older, say 2-3?



    and finally, does anyone put their kids into childcare primarily for this reason? my parents LOVE to look after her and don't want her to be in childcare this young, but i feel like maybe she could benefit from it, and realise the world doesn't revolve around her (even though it does). There is a very popular child care centre minutes away that lots of the mums at my work use and speak incredibly highly of...

    please help a guilt ridden mum

  2. #2
    Ellibam Guest

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    children never truley play with another child until around the 3 yr mark.
    but getting them used to the idea that there are other kids out there and the whole sharing thingo!
    but its totally up to you if you want to put DD in cc. (sometimes it means she might be doing things that she doesnt with your parents.)

  3. #3
    smiles4u Guest

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    Hi ya Emma,

    ... I have been taking my daughter to a structured activity (sing & dance program) once a week since she was 7mths old.

    And a baby-gym from 7mths to 15mths (15mths was the cut-off age for this baby-gym).

    Went to a Mother's group until she was 18mths (I got bored of it, too many chiefs not enough indians, LOL ).

    Also a playgroup from 20mths until now (she is now just over 2years of age).

    To be really honest Emma, I seriously don't think it matters that much that you lil one isnt amongst other children before 18mths ... They spend most of their time playing on their own anyway.

    It's only now that she is ' 2 ' that I think she is benefiting more then ever interacting with other children (mind you they even at this age play a fair bit on their own).

    As long as your parents take the time to go to a park to play or go for a walk, some sort of outdoor activity so it's not all indoors.

    And that they play games, interact, etc... which I'm sure they do

    It took me a couple of playgroups to find one I enjoyed going to too, ... maybe you could do the same (though you might be limited to playgroups in Gippsland ?? & have not much choice, also If you are in a small town in Gippsland ?? My daughter's Daddy's folks live in a small town called Nyora over your way) ... Even if you go to a playgroup once a fortnight or every 3 wks ... I reckon that would be plenty

    All the best, ... & don't stress about it. You are doing a super job in choosing you folks to look after your bub Wish my folks could do the same for me but they live too far away

    P.S - your DD birthday is the same day as my friend's & a day before my DP birthday !!
    Last edited by smiles4u; June 18th, 2008 at 08:55 PM.

  4. #4

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    thanks people...
    they do great things with her, they live on 5 acres so she is outdoors ALOT, unless its too cold or wet... they also take her places, to the park, to the lake (which admittedly i've never even been to), and she watches her favorite dvd's, goes to the shops etc, so it is fairly varied... she probably doesn't get to play on her own enough(!!!)... im actually thinking of suggesting mum take her to a playgroup - do they have grandma's taking kids to playgroup do you think?
    i've got a good playgroup in our town, its just - and i guess i'm being selfish here - i often don't feel like going because i want a day at home (after being at work), or have the housework to do, or need to go shopping, or WANT to head out somewhere else... it could be just because i've been working 5 days.. in a week or so i will go back to 3 days and will have more free time, so i guess will be more willing to go. i feel quite bad as all the other mum's in my mum's group seem to go every week to playgroup AND mothers group, i guess they are SAHM though so have alot more free time.

  5. #5

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    ps haven't heard of nyora, but im a melbourne girl thats fairly recently relocated...
    wow @ 24 march!! 23 march is also my mums bday.

  6. #6

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    DS is 15mnths old, and just last week I put hime into daycare 2 days a week as I work pt but mainly for interaction with kids his own age and because he was really clingy and I couldnt leave him with anyone as he would cry all the time, well he has only had 2 days there and I and others have noticed a change already, previously when we went to my freinds house he would cling to my lag the whole time and not go near her ds who is 3 but on Monday we went to visit and he was going from room to room in her house and sat on the floor next to her DS and sort of played by himself but was a huge difference.

    that is just my experience it has to be your decison and just to add my sister works in childcare and she is telling me he is too young ect, but I have only had positives from my experience.

  7. #7
    smiles4u Guest

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    Hey EMMA, I'm a Melb gal too ... moved to Ballarat 3 years ago

    ... Such a big change from going to living within 20mins of Melb city most of my life & working in the city ... to the tree change here

    I still feel so new here but in a good way

    ... I don't miss the druggies in the Melb city after work asking me 'for change' to help buy their drugs ... would make my blood boil Oh, & the traffic ... nop don't miss that either

    Yeh, Nyora is out Korumbarra way (Believe me it's a boring little town. DP talked about moving there. I told him he will have to visit my grave there after I knock myself off from the boredom of living there, LOL. I think he then got the message. Easy for him as he works in Melb most of his waking hours.)

    ... To help with an answer to your question, I go to a playgroup on a Wed & there is '2' regular Grandma's & even plenty regular Dad's there that go weekly. And today I tried another playgroup for the first time & there were '3' Grandmas' there on their own with one or two of their own grandchildren

    So, I'm guessing it's not a rare situation

    All the best with everything & the new tree change (I myself especially can't get enough of the wonderful smells of fireplaces burning through the chimneys in Winter here) !!

  8. #8

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    DD1 has been in care since she was 5 months old and my POV is its the best thing i ever did. She enjoys going there, loves playing with other kids, has a bright personality, friendly with others, shares toys....all things i think Care has helped her be who she is today at 19 months old.

    DD2 is begining care in 2 weeks time and she will be 8 months old then. I cant wait and i hoep it makes her a good person like her sister!

  9. #9

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    thanks guys
    im feeling a bit better about things, as i went to playgroup today and dd really enjoyed it - usually she clings to my legs - but she was off like a rocket and had a great time, we stayed for just over an hour which was long enough for me, i think the idea of being there for two whole hours sort of puts me off... where as an hour or so is more doable when i am strapped for time...
    ive also found a playgroup close to my mum's and suggested she take her then when she has her, which she said she had been thinking about, so now dd will get to be at playgroup on average twice a week - so i'm quite happy with that set up....
    i took her to the shopping centre today and let her walk around holding my hand, was so cute!! she is not really a hand holdy cuddly person, but it was nice that she understood she had to, otherwise she would be put in the pram.

    smiles4u it certainly is a massive change, but i feel im quite 'countrified' now... i can't believe all the hundreds of dollars i would spend on designer clothes... my lifestyle was so different, i worked on collins street and lived in southbank, and walked to work along st kilda road with the beautiful trees.... you are right, i do not miss the druggies on elizabeth street hassling me for change, OR THE TRAFFIC... in fact one of my favorite little past times in the morning getting ready for work is to watch the traffic report on sunrise and see all the roads into melbourne clogged to the hilt with cars... it never fails to put a little smug smile on my dial.

    i do miss some things though, but plan on doing lots of city trips when dd is a bit older, to the aquarium, the zoo, shopping, maybe a sleep over in a hotel, i think it will be awesome to treat melbourne as a place to visit and do fun things, luna park, st kilda sea baths, the list is really endless.......

    i will always love melbourne but am confident we are in a much better place for dd to grow up in, and she will have a much better lifestyle as a result.

    SORRY SOOOOO OFF TOPIC!!!!

  10. #10

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    My boys have benefited from going to creche I'm sure. When we started Angus was about 12 months. They play with other kids and I think it's great to see the other little ones say hello when you walk in to drop them off (yes even the tiny ones do this).
    They play with things that we don't have and do activities we don't do. They have music and dancing and other fun stuff too.

    The older boys don't go anymore and I'm just about to start Caleb going to a 3hr occasional care session one day a week so he can be with kids his own age.

  11. #11

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    Emma, my boys go to day care 2 days a week and my ILs look after them 3 days a week. Personally I think this is a good balance, and the boys seem to really enjoy it too. They love playing with other kids at day care, (and always have, J started at 7 months, T at 8 months). They also love the different activities they do there too. I have just been reading through the journals day care keep for the boys, which have photos, artwork and lots of updates on what they are doing. And I am amazed at how every activity is chosen for the motor, socialisation (sharing, taking turns, making decisions etc), numeracy etc skills that go with it. And how they progress that - so for example they might try chalk on board vs paper to see the difference. Or paint with different types of paints, using different implements like hands, brush, food pieces, blocks, pastry wheels etc. Everything is fun and learning at the same time.

    The boys also love their days at home with nanny and poppy. It is good for them to be able to play with their own toys, read their own books, and spend time with grandparents. But if they were with my ILs every day, I think they would be missing out on a lot. And I also think it would be too much for my ILs.

    This is just my take on it, and what works for us. It might work for you and it might not. But it is my opinion that my boys have learnt a lot from day care.

  12. #12

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    yep - with my DD i ttok her to jungle gym once a week from 12 months, then at 18 months she went one day a week to child care just to be wiht other kids.

    I really do think that it helped develop her social skills.

    GL!!

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