Do you think 12 months is too young to start (I'm a SAHM)

[Lolli]

Hun, my pyschologist says the first thing she recommends for PND is one day a week in childcare so mum can have a break. My ds starts next week, and tbh I wish I had enrolled him earlier. And you are doing it tougher than I am- I am have illusion of help in dh

Don't be too hard on yourself. I think a day off for mummy is very well deserved- enjoy every second of it

[*TripleJ*]

wow ur awesome my DS is only 3 months and im starting to feel like i need a break but i wont do it now coz im so not ready to part from him but i was thinking 6 months so good on u for waiting this long FWIW my mum put my sister in CC at 6 weeks and shes fine dont think ur bad for doing it do wat u think is best

[fionas]

Danielle, I just wanted to pop back to say also that don't think you have to spend that day being a Domestic Goddess and being Wonder Woman at home. Don't feel guilty if you want to use some or all of that day "faffing about" having coffee and doing a bit of window-shopping or whatever. Something that helps you to relax and find yourself a little bit.

I really think that you've been through a hell of a lot these last few years and that it's now time to nurture yourself and think about what you want from the next phase of your life.

I know this is a bit OT but I think seeing a counsellor might also be good. From what I've read of your other posts, it sometimes seems that you don't have many people around you who are good listeners and appreciate you for the really kind and generous person that you are. I know when I've seen a counsellor it's immensely comforting just to hear someone say, "hell yes, you've had a rough trot."

Really what I'm saying is that I think you deserve the absolute best from life!!!

[Gigi]

you are at a low point in your life, so prolly very sensitive to any criticism. totally understandable.

i bet you are harsher on yourself, than anyone else could ever be anyhoo. Good on you for ADMITTING feeling overwhelmed, not everyone is brave enough to even face that fact. You are clearly a loving mum, you put your hand up when you aren't coping, you are getting help. You are doing so well to be doing all that. GOOD ON YOU!

i am assuming there is a reason your ex is your ex, otherwise he would still be in the picture. So if he is the one making your feel guilty, he is not in your shoes to judge you.

You coping as a single mum, are everything for your children. If you go downhill, they have no-one. So it's important that you do whatever you need to do (happy pills, childcare, counselling etc) to keep functioning and being their mum.

It is very easy for people who have two Grandmas coming to help, babysitting, a DH, etc to judge you.

At 12 months, i would consider a shorter day of care if possible, attachment is important. I started my child at 16 months (due to my own health going downhill), and visited her at lunchtime to feed her. i stayed with her (often took an hour) to settle her in to the CCC environment, which i put down to lack of famliarity - only going to cc once a week. Just like i wasn't comfortable with controlled crying to get her to sleep, i also wouldn't walk out of the CCC until she was fine with me going - that's what i did, might not suit you (i only have one child), just putting it out there, that there are a few ways of doing things. (it doesn't have to be ALL or NOTHING).

How to use your time out is hard. So much easier to pay bills, get errands done, when you are child free. Easier to vacuum when kids are not around, especially if you have a child who is terrified of the vaccum cleaner!

You gotta do, what you gotta do, to get through.

Whatever you do as a parent, SOMEONE will judge you for.
If you feel in your heart, in your gut, that you are doing the right thing, listen to that.

[Mak]

Definitely not. Lots of people return to work way before there kids are 1 and this is no different. Everyone has different needs - I am actually looking forward to heading back to work for a few days soon. I just don't have to justify it to anyone as if I don't return to work I lose my job. Parenting is hard enough, don't give yourself a hard time. I agree with fionas - perhaps be quite regimented about doing a set period of jobs on the cc day and then the rest of the day is for you. Good luck!

[*charmalea*]

no hun you are not a bad parent for needing time out !!!
dont feel bad !!!.
DS will be fine and you will start to feel better in yourself and things will look up .
:hugs: hun x

[berrme]

My DS1 started daycare when I went back to work 3 days a week when he was 11 months. Personally I think it was really good for him. He was entertained all day doing paintings and role plays and reading and dancing... he had a great time. It also allowed him to get used to other kids and adults and has made it easier for me to leave him with someone so I can have a timeout every so often. Even mums with DHs need a break sometimes.

Don't listen to your XH! Babies/ toddlers can be full on and you definitely deserve a day off. You may find that you are a better mum on the other days as you have had some rest time.