Needing LOTS of hugs for DD's first day at daycare tomorrow......

[Shanti]

My 2.2yr old DD starts at daycare tomorrow. Her very first day where I leave her there. I'm soooo nervous yet so excited for her at the same time..... mixed emotions!!
Having to leave my little baby in the care of other people but at the same time, I trust these people and really like what I've seen so far from the centre so it's okay. The owner/director of the centre gave me the tour 3 weeks ago with DD and she was so so lovely and loving with DD. She and her husband own the centre and her husband is the principal of the primary school across the road too! They have worked with children for years and years. The child care centre is also family run and her mother helps her with it and is called "Grandma Marilyn" by the kids!! How gorgeous. 2nd visit, DD asked me "and see Grandma Marilyn??" she remembered her!!!!!

I pondered over sending her for months, since finding out we're expecting #2 and finally decided to give them a call and check out the centre. They are just up the road from us, literally 5mins walk, we drive past it daily. We've been already three times for 'play' sessions for 2hrs at a time so she's spent lots of time there with me already.
She has already made some friends and the carers adore her and say "she will fit in just nicely!!" as they watch her playing with the other kids. She's in the 2-3 year room so she's one of the youngest yet seems one of the oldest as she's like a mother hen to the other kids..... hehe gives them cuddles etc, very cute. She'll learn alot from the kids who are a bit older than her too I think. She loves older kids.

She's going one day a week and tomorrow she will be there for 3hrs then I'll come pick her up right after they have their lunch and before they nap. I'll gradually extend the time she's there each time..... I really think this one day a week will be wonderful for DD, she'll learn so much from being around the other kids and carers and that one day a week I can do the grocery shopping and all the housework and spend time with our new bub.

I've talked to her alot about tomorrow and just before I said to her "you're off to little school tomorrow" (her Daddy likes to call it 'little school' it sounds cute and she likes it!!) and she said "yeah and kiss and bye bye" straight away!! She understands a little about what is going to happen I think. Then I said to her "and Mummy will come back and get you after you eat lunch with the kids because Mummy loves you very much" and she said "yes you come back" and then I said "are you okay with that?" and she said "yes" and nodded!!! Awww..... I hope tomorrow when I drop her off, goes as well as that!!

I know I am going to cry when I leave her..... I am wondering if she will.... my friends who have kids who know DD reckon she won't as she's so independent and social around other people and kids and usually happily wanders off etc to play but I dunno, I think she will get upset when I say goodbye and hug her but I know that this is normal and all part of it.

I've lost sleep over this but I know that we're doing the right thing at the same time and that she'll be okay. They are one of the best childcare centres in our area with many of my friends or their friends who send their kids and also my neighbour sends her two kids. They can't praise it enough! They're into natural things, like letting the kids play with leaves and sticks making mobiles out of them, wooden stuff etc instead of plastic toys. I really like the crafts etc they do with the kids!!
I think DD will be really happy once she settles into it all.....I watched her sing and dance with the carers and kids last week when we were there and she stood in the front row singing out loud with the kids and just loved it. Made me feel nice

I'm meeting a friend tomorrow for coffee afterwards and then doing my grocery shopping and a couple of other errands I need to do, that if I brought DD with me, she'd only get bored anyway.... so instead of dragging her with me, she can be having fun for 3hrs with some kids and learning new things!

So, I'm off to pack her 'little school' bag for tomorrow..... wish us both luck!!

[Laranna]

Aww Shanti, it sounds like a fantastic centre and your DD will enjoy it! Big huggles from me

[MrsBexie]

Good luck tomorrow!!!!

and another few

[krystals]

Big hugs!!! Good idea having things planned for tomorrow for yourself as well xxx

for extra measure

[Winter]

Aww hun, I remember the feeling! Its so hard putting our kids in care when we're sahm's. I know I feel incredibly guilty about it and for goodness sake, she's only there for 6 hours once a week - AND - she loves it there! But I still feel guilty.

I think your DD will have a wonderful time and in no time at all, you'll have your "little school" days so busy that you forget to worry about her all day!

[Footsteps]

Huge hugs huni...I hope she has a great time...sounds like she will. xox

[boomba]

Good luck hun! xxx

[MummyNaomi]

Awww, good luck honey, I bawled like a baby when I walked out after the first drop off, but you've prepared her well, enjoy your day too

Come back tomorrow and tell us how it goes

[onthefly]

it sounds lovely and she'll have a great time.
It'll be so much harder for you, but it'll be ok

[Shanti]

Thank you for the hugs. Please keep them coming!!

She helped me pack her "little school" bag earlier and was excited about that. I have plenty to do tomorrow that im sure three hours wil fly but i just know i am going to miss her like crazy

I have four other sahm's who leave their two year olds in care one day a week and they have been so supportive and helpful giving me tips etc, what to expect etc.

This has been such a difficult decision. When i spoke to the owner and director of the centre about that "mummy guilt" i am feeling; she said that it never goes away and that its even there the day you drop them at school the first time
Like winter said, its only 6hrs out of an entire week. Makes it not seem like much at all. I really wouldnt want her there any longer than a school day would be.
Winter, i am pm'ing you shortly

[OceanPrincess]

Aww Shanti..

I'm returning to work soon and we're going to have to do child care... Previously we've survived on grandparents... I'm dreading it...

[mbear]

You prob will cry...i sat in the carpark of the child care centre and cried for 2 of mine (the other 2 havent started yet). Its a very sad day.... - for you, but she will have a ball. Its the whole letting go/guilt mother thing. It will get easier each week - esp when she explodes with excitement when telling you what she did today.
GL....

[Shanti]

Thank you everyone! I wanted to post about how DD's first and second days at daycare went!!

We're calling it "Kindy" now....she seems to like calling it this and talks about it ALOT now!!

First day was REALLY HARD on me more than her..... I stayed 15mins made sure her carer (who I'll name E) had her and was giving her hugs and I said goodbye to her and that Mummy would be back very soon and that she can have lots of cuddles with E while I'm gone.... she went to E for a hug after I kissed and hugged her goodbye and then E signalled me to leave and to make sure I don't come back again otherwise it would make it harder on DD.....(I already knew this so made sure I just kept going.... )..... geez this was really, really hard on me.... harder than I ever thought it would have been. I knew it was going to be hard but not this hard..... I heard her crying as I left and I walked out feeling like the worst mum in the whole world the tightness in my chest was horrific and I think I had some anxiety as I left.....(I get it now and then) anyway as I walked out one lady stopped me and wanted to talk about my pregnancy and how long I had left and I said I'm so sorry I have waterworks about to start I have to leave etc.... and she understood, then another lady stopped me and said hello (another carer there) and I just said I had to go and get out of there as I didn't want to hear DD crying (although I'd left the room so couldnt hear anyway)...... just had to get to my car so I could SOB in privacy
"A" on the desk said "here take this" as I left and handed me their contact card for when I wanted to ring at anytime to check on DD and she said "we'll look after her, call as much as you like ok" she is so nice. They are ALL so nice. She's in a really lovely centre, I'm so lucky it's just down the road from us. It truly is one of the best in our area!

Anyway, got to the car, I CRIED so hard for about 15mins and had to pull over as I couldn't see anything while driving for my tears!! I felt so guilty for leaving my baby when I don't have to go to work or anything but I know this is a good thing for her and me..... for different reasons!! I know it will get easier....I got my phone and rang DH and said "you think she'll be ok?" he was more worried about me!!!! haha..... I drove back and drove past the centre to see if I could see DD from outside and she was being held by one of the carers (E) so that made me feel better....got to the shops and did my jobs I needed to do and the 3hrs that I left DD there went SO FAST..... even managed to have a coffee and cake by myself at gloria jeans (ah, it was very relaxing!!!)....but the whole entire time I could not stop thinking about DD..... I rang to check on her after 30mins and they said "sorry to disappoint you but she is smiling and happy and having the best time playing dress ups with the other kids!!!" so that made me laugh, it was really nice to hear.... so she'd only cried for 3-4mins on her first day

When I picked DD up 3hrs later (before their nap time) (only wanted her there 3hrs for her first day) she was so happy to see me and didn't cry just gave me a big warm cuddle, geez I had missed her.... and as we walked to the car she was telling me about her day (she's the biggest chatterbox hehe) and I said "and what did you do today?" and she said "I got some sand in my mouth mum!" and I said "did you? and what happened after that?" she said to me "I ate it mum" awww it was so cute.... made me laugh..... I'll never forget that..... later that afternoon at home I said to DD "I really really missed you today you know" and I started to cry again (pregnancy hormones!!!!) and she said "aww Mummy is sad, don't cry Mummy" and gave me a hug.... so gorgeous. She was comforting me!! LOL I'm such a sook.

Week 2.....DD wanted to bring in a snake skin to show the other kids (one we've laminated) and they loved it!!! I thought it would be a good idea to bring something in for show and tell from home while she's settling in with the kids etc.... her 2nd stay and I drop her off after 5mins of being there and she didn't cry like she did the first week, just had a little tear or two the carer said and she seemed fine not long after...i noticed when i left her she was hugging with E and turned her head away from me as she knew I was leaving and found it hard to look at me I guess..... she knew what was to happen as we'd talked about it all week and the day before, alot, and she understands so much so she knew what was going to happen this week, made it ALOT easier..... although I still walked to the car and had a cry it wasn't as bad as the week before..... I didn't feel 'as' guilty leaving her. I knew she'd be just fine. Called 30mins later to check how she was and she was happy and playing and reading stories with other kids..... I then rang at 12pm their sleep time and admin lady told me that her carer "E" said DD was doing really good and was lying down on her little bed next to other kids and was getting settled in for nap time..... I said are you sure you don't want me to pick her up? (I was prepared to as i knew it was her first day of staying for 'nap' time and she might find it hard etc)...... but nope, they said honestly she was so good..... rang back 2hrs later, she had slept 1.5hrs and, NO PATTING or sitting next to her was required!!!!!! she had fallen asleep on her own...... "E" told me later when I came to pick her up at 3pm that she'd fallen asleep on her own, seen the other kids going to sleep and thought "may aswell go to sleep" and just did it..... I was SO PROUD..... DD has hardly ever done that for me..... I've quite often had to lie or sit with DD to help her to sleep at home..... so so proud of her.

Two weeks ago we started sitting with DD more often rather than lying with her and holding her hand as she drifts off to sleep and this has helped her at kindy I think....!! Will make it so much easier on me when this baby comes in about 5 weeks time

Anyway just wanted to share how it all went..... her 3rd week is tomorrow..... it comes around fast! I'm so proud of my little girl for how brave she's been throughout this whole process (braver than her mummy that's for sure!) and I think because of our close bond and her secure attachment with me, she knows I'm going to come back and get her etc and she's a very confident, talkative, social little kid who mixes well with everyone and just loves company so I really feel this Kindy is a good thing for her.... and it sure will help me once a week when this baby comes.

ps I laughed when the carer told me how she'd tried to wake the little boy next to her at the start of nap time.... hehe she was touching him and trying to play with him and "E" told her its time to sleep now etc..... I just laughed cos' that is so typical of DD, always wanting to play even at sleep time hehe

[MummyNaomi]

Oh Shanti, I am so glad its going well - having a good centre and loving carers makes all the difference, sounds like your DD is in wonderful hands babe x

[Shanti]

Thank you for reading and replying means alot to me

[black_rose]

Sounds like she is really settling in and enjoying it. My girls go twice a week so I can spend one on one time with each of them and they love it and have made friends.

[Shanti]

Well, it's been 6 weeks since DD started one day a week at Kindy and she is loving it. Last week, I dropped her off and she didn't even get upset at all, and as soon as we walked into her room, she saw one of her carers and ran straight over to her and looked at what the kids were playing with and started to join in.... I had to ask her for a cuddle and kiss goodbye!!! she's doing so well, settling in nicely and I'm SO PROUD of my little girl
First time I left her and didn't cry in the car myself it's getting easier..... *phew*. Although I still miss her so much when she's at kindy, it's really good for her and me.

I drove past her Kindy today (we do every day as its just up the road) and she said "Mummy, I love Kindy" awwww I asked her to name some of her friends and she could name about 4 of them!!

[MummyNaomi]

Awww, how cute re telling you she loves Kindy - sounds like a well adjusted little munchkin you have there Shanti

My DS moved from the Baby room to the Toddler room about 3 weeks ago, there were quite a few tears (mostly mine), but he is doing so well adjusting to his new friends and carers, his development has just accelerated in the last few weeks now that he is with older kids. He is struggling though with the activity, comes home absolutely buggered as its much more active and structured, but its happy tiredness It reinforces to me that the benefits of child care, they pick up wonderful new skills from observing the other kids and probably have more varied play that we would think of as Mums sometimes

I'm so glad to hear how proud you are of her - sounds like you should be proud of yourself too, you've done everything right to help her settle in and adjust!!