If you didnt have to ..... would you???

[Astrid]

DD1 first went into childcare when she was 1, I did have 1 day a week work then. I bumped her up to 2 days at the change of the year so I could get more work and also have some time to myself (I worked 2 days one week and 1 day the next). She definitely settled in more once she went to 2 days.

We moved at the start of the year and initially she was not in care as I was not working. I found thought that she missed it, plus being pregnant I was having lots of appointments and needed some rest as the little miss stopped having naps. Both here and back in Melb, there was no family for support. I used occasional care of 2 hours a couple of times a week, often when I had something to do, but sometimes as she really enjoyed and asked for it. I was also taking her to playgroup, but it was just not enough for her. Managed to get her 1 day a week and I also used 1 session of occasional care, she had no trouble going between both. Finally managed to get a 2nd day, so I dropped the occasional care. She still goes to playgroup.

The great advantage of having her in care when pregnant is that when I went into hospital, DH did not have to take the whole week off work, she still went into care. DH saved leave days which were used to spend more time with us when we came home. Also it was a bit of consistency for DD1 during all the change of having mummy away and then coming home with a baby. I still have her in care, I find it beneficial mentally and physically. I get to spend some one on one time with bubs, bubs is calmer due to not having her big sis in her face all day, I get to have some sleep and it is easier to run around in town with one rather than two. Also when I am ready to pick up work to do from home I wont have to rush around and find some care for her.

Remember we are mothers, not matyrs. In these days without family being just around the corner, some of us have to create our village in other ways, if that means using childcare then we should not be made to feel lazy or guilty.

[DiannaQ]

I've unfortunately had to take DS out of CC today - he was going 3 days a week but I have since started Maternity Leave and it just comes down to finances.

I would have loved for him to go 1 day a week to the point where I was still begging the owner to consider it this afternoon on his last day, however their policy is that children attend a minimum of 2 days and well i just can't justify the additional expense.

We are starting Playgroup next week and hopefully he will enjoy that - in the mean time I'm going to try and find him care 1 day a week but might just wait and see how it all pans out.

I say if you have the opportunity to go 1 day a week give it a go - you can always stop.

In regards to sickness - can you look at starting her in Spring?? it's closer than you think - trust me I'm counting down the days - I'm so over Winter and each day gone is 1 day closer to my due date

[QueenMab]

It looks like I am one of the very few, but you did ask so I am just going to jump right in & answer!!

Personally (& it is SUCH a personal choice honey, so no matter what anyone says here you HAVE to do what you feel is right...), I wouldn't put my DD in childcare if I didn't have to. The thought actually makes me quite anxious but that is my hang up lol. I'm not sure if I can put my feelings as to why down here as clearly as I would like, but the main "issues" I would have are the sickness thing (she's not been sick at all yet, touch wood) and just that I would miss her & worry that she wasn't being looked after the same way as I would IYKWIM. She is going to be little for such a short amount of time & I want to enjoy it, enjoy her, nuture her as much as I can & all that jazz lol. Luckily, I don't have to work right now, we aren't rich but we aren't starving either & I am so lucky that I don't have to make that CC choice, like I said, it makes me anxious just to think about.

As for the 'socialising' side of things, I am pretty sure that babies don't actually actively socialise until around 2? I have 'The Science of Parenting' around here somewhere, that's where I read it, will try to hunt it out to tell you what it says exactly, but again, if you feel that your DD loves playing with other kids then your DD loves playing with other kids!

As for having or wanting 'me' time, I am happy for DP to watch Punky when he gets home so I can have a nice long shower (shhhhhhhhhhh!) or leave her with him for an hour or two on his day off while I go for an outing to the shops, doesn't take much to make me happy & I miss her when I'm out anyway.

I'm with Mel - you tell us if you get any hate mail (the very thought! on MY BB!! ) & we'll sort 'em out! *cracks knuckles*