Kindy Issues - What would you do

[PinkPalace]

Well DD had her first day at daycare today and although the girls say she had a wonderful time (i think they always say this lol), i have reservations.

The nursery is 6 weeks - 15months.
DD is 12.5 months old.

The reason i put her in 1 day a week is because i want her to social with children at her level.

I have a few friends with bubs but they are all still in crawling or rolling stage and DD is
Walking
Talking
Climbing etc

She loves playing with her oler friends around 2-3 years old.

Anyhow... long story short.. she is the eldest in the group (it is a small group of only 5). the next eldest is 9 months old.

I just watched her for a little bit today and she looked at the babies but then wanted to go outside and play on her own or with the assistant.

This is not what i am paying for day care for - ie one on one adult contact.
I would rather take her to the playcentre down the road for 2 hours and pay a cleaner the $40 i pay the daycare centre to do my house work.

Anyhow as i have signed up - i have to give notice if i take her out and have paid 3 weeks in advance etc etc (you know the drill). SHould i just leave her in the baby or take her out until they let her in the older group 15months -2.5 years?

thanks in advance
(sorry about long post).

PP

[smiles4u]

Have you put her in a daycare centre because you are at work that day ?

... I was just wondering because ' playgroups ' where you need to obviously to be there with them can have children just as young as your little one ... and is usually a Gold Coin donation$ for most ... well, that's how it is with a lot playgroups where I live

Or local Baby-Gyms can be cheap (about $4 a session) run by community groups for Bub's up to about 15mths.

Just a thought

Also I remember when my daughter & her friends were the same age they often don't interact with each other, ... they seem to be more happy playing on their own & exploring !!

But you are right they DO need to mix amongst children about their own age or close to their age (something I did too)

[PinkPalace]

Hi smilies4u
No i am not at work the day she is in day care.
And i guess this is my argument - it is more to get her used to playing with other children when i am not there - as bub is due soon and i may need a day off when bub arrives

At the moment i am planning ot use the day doing chores etc to catch up as i work all weekends.

We have mothers group 1-2 times a week and most bubs are younger than her there (give or take one or two) and go to the local play centre for gym and climbing etc.

But i said to DH tonight - if all she is going to do it play with the assistant because the other kids are just crawling or not running about like she is - then she may as well be at home and all use the $40 in daycare costs to pay a cleaner to clean for me!

[~Kim~]

Have you spoken to the daycare centre about this? Most are amenable to a chat and a suggestion.
When Darcy started she was in the top of the baby group but they were happy to group her with the bigger kids as she was up to their speed with language, understanding, instruction and movement (it isn't just about how mobile she is).

[PinkPalace]

Hi Kim

Yes i understand the development side of things, I spoke to one of the managers and she said that they dont like to move them up without written permission until 1 month difference in age.

Which would mean she would have to be with the babies that arent talking, walking or playing at her level for 2 months.

I guess i will see if they can put her on hold and i will take her out until they will allow her to go into the next age group.

[Tobily]

I understand your frustration and I'd be the same.
I guess though that if you pull her out she'd have to go back on a waiting list to get in the older room.

With her only being there one day a week, and only 2 months (ie. 8 days effectively) until she'll be moved into the next room I'd be inclined to leave her...
Only a call you can make though.

[MantaRay]

We had a similar problem with J in the early days. He started day care at 7 months, but when he was 10 months, all the 15 mos moved up to toddlers. These were the ones he played with all the time as he was walking and talking at 10 mos and the others his age weren't. Every day he knocked on the door of toddlers wanting to go in. By law they can move them in 1 month early I think, but only if they can justify "inputed age" being 15 months (as in developmentally the same as a 15mo), but they can only have one child per centre go up on inputed age.

What J's kindy did was to let him go in to the toddler room on days when they weren't full in there (which surprisingly was often). Also they tried to challenge him with more interesting activities, and there is also mixed age group in the mornings and afternoon, so he could play with the older kids then.

I would talk to the centre about your concerns. They won't be able to move her up (it's the law!), but maybe they will let you know when she might go up (they don't automatically to the next room at 15 mos, they need a place available and also think that the child is ready). If they can guarantee a spot in toddlers at 15mos, then it's not so far away. In the meantime they might be able to challenge her some more, and there is likely to be mixed age group in the morning and afternoon also.

If they think it could be a long time before there is a spot in toddlers, maybe you need to rethink. Although personally I think a day or two of day care will be a life saver for you soon when bub arrives, and can be good for the older kid to have that time to themselves away from the baby also. Not to mention some rest time for you while you are pg.

So start by talking to them and see what they say. You can take it from there. GL.

[Erin_25]

I think what it comes down to is you have a choice...those who need to work don't.

So if you feel you need to take her out then do so....but do remember you may need to go back on a waiting list & days will go to working parents & children who need crisis care first. So you may miss out all together. Also it's an adjustment & it could be harder at an older age.
This might be an easier way to adjust, it's good to rememver that she might be more advanced than those in her group atm...but isn't the next group 15months to 3yrs? It is here, and that can be just as hard for adjusting as some of the other kids may be rough & to full on for your DD (just a thought)..do you know what they are all like? They usually have to sleep on a mattress too do you think she is ready for that? I've actually asked for my DS to stay down as he has just adjusted & I want him sleeping in a cot a bit longer. Are the yards mixed? Where Charlie goes when playing in the yard it's with the next group & they often have activities together, they also usually do crafts etc with the Children so that's always good for them too.'
Otherwise I would say local playgroup is the way to go...a couple dollars, heaps of stuff you don't have at home and usually always a great mix of ages.

[nickel]

Don't kids parallel play until age 2 or 3 anyway?
If you have a choice, don't "waste" your money - send him for 3 weeks anyway, consider it training for when the younger baby comes - playing with his younger sibling and being gentle around baby!

And then go playgroup and the cleaner - lucky you for having the choice!!

[PinkPalace]

thanks For your advice girls

Firstly Erin / nickel- i just want to clear up something.

I do work, i am a shift worker and therefore work shifts suitable for my family, ie times when bub is asleep (night duties) or weekends when DH have her. Not everyone works in jobs that are 9-5 monday to friday and shouldnt be presumed that if DD is in day care when i am at home then i 'dont have a job'.

I dont mean to get testy but i get so many people on here rub in my 'choice' etc etc, do you ge the choice on a saturday or sunday ??? well i dont because that is when i have to work. I dont mean to sound rough but my god! i work things around my family the best i can and if that means i want 1 day off mon-fri to clean because when everyone else is sleeping or havin fun on the weekend with their families then i shouldnt have this 'lucky to have a choice' thrown at me all the time!

Now that that vent is over,
Obviously day care centres arent open at these times and she is in for the social interaction. The yards for the next group and nursery are not mixed. And the next group is 15months -2.5 years.

I have spoken to them about the situation and they are going to check out the other days to see if there are children in nursery closer to her age on another day. So hopefully that works out, otherwise might pull her out - keep my deposit there for a place in toddlers in 3 months.

[Arimeh]

PP -

I'm sorry you took offense at some comments on here I'm sure no-one was judging you at all.

I was going to post that I must put DS into a totally different type of childcare because the ages for his room are 6 weeks - 2 years!! I think at the moment he is one of the oldest, but I have never thought about his interaction with the other kids (how's that for a bad mum!!) because I'm usually running out the door when I drop him off, so its like, ok go to a carer, yup gotta go!!! And they all tell me he has wonderful days (so I think they do automatically say that.. lol)

I know that they combine all rooms in the morning for outside play, and then in the afternoon as well because when I pick him up they are all together in the one room. I guess I should really ask the carers what happens for the rest of the day!! haha!!! Thanks for bringing it to my attention PP xx

Oh, and I was going to say, if you have a car on a tuesday or thursday, you are most welcome to come up to the sunny coast and have your DD play with DS... he's a little older than her at 17 months, but is quite social (I think) and he loves other kids!!!

So you are welcome to come up to my house and we can have a cuppa and a chat while the kids play!!!!

[PinkPalace]

Thanks Gudism!
lol - sorry it is one of those pregnant hormonal vents - i am over it now

Well i have spoken to the kindy (they are really lovely there) and told them my concerns about just wanting her to play with children close to her developmental stage and age and they completely understand

So i have a booked spot in toddlers from late august (14months +) for her.
In the meantime we will just have our regular mother group play dates

Its funny the difference between 12-17 months just doesnt seem as big as 9-12months.
Thanks for the invite lol... if i am ever out that way i will definately give you a call.
But i will probably catch you at the next cloth nappy meet- i am going to crash it thanks to christy's invite lol.

[PinkPalace]

Thanks Gudism!
lol - sorry it is one of those pregnant hormonal vents - i am over it now

Well i have spoken to the kindy (they are really lovely there) and told them my concerns about just wanting her to play with children close to her developmental stage and age and they completely understand

So i have a booked spot in toddlers from late august (14months +) for her.
In the meantime we will just have our regular mother group play dates

Its funny the difference between 12-17 months just doesnt seem as big as 9-12months.
Thanks for the invite lol... if i am ever out that way i will definately give you a call.
But i will probably catch you at the next cloth nappy meet- i am going to crash it thanks to christy's invite lol.

[nickel]

Oops!
See my PM!
sorry. I was just so excited by the idea of a cleaner.... it's Never a "choice" to work on a Saturday for anyone. again, sorry.

[PinkPalace]

Thanks Nickel - I have pm'ed you

[christy]

I was just thinking... as a mum who lives in the same suburb with a 19 mth old ... I go to a playgroup Wed mornings 9.30-11.30 in Wynnum, PM me if you want to come!! I'm only new to it.

BUt I work every alternate Sat/Sun, Thursday nights and Mondays, so my younger DD goes to Family Day Care 2 days. And through FDC she goes to playgroup on Thursdays. So she goes Mondays & Thursdays with 4 children and on Thursday mornings they go to a playgroup for 90minutes.

I have found FDC to be invaluable. They are 6 hour days at most for her & it works very well for me. My older DD is 4 and goes to Montessori. When I was pregnant with DD2 she was at FDC, and I needed the day off while I was pregnant.

[melham74]

Christy, I would be interested in playgroup for Cooper aswell, he is in Daycare on Thursday and Friday's I too work nights or Weekends so I can be home for the kids.