Reply With QuoteI totally agree with Mayaness post, wonderfully written.
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I am wondering if the real issue here is not the reading, but the rewards system. It doesn't sound like it has helped everyone embrace the joy of reading. It also sounds like the other mum is competitive and can't believe someone got to 25 so quickly.
If it were my child I wouldn't be pushing the nightly reading... And I am a librarian!! The joy of stories can be fostered without a routine or regime of reading.
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I totally agree with Mayaness post, wonderfully written.
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In her defence she may have been having a bad day and she may have a number of children and the one in your DDs grade is the youngest- you do get a bit "over" readers by then. Often we mothers of older kids make flippant remarks which can be misconstrued by those who don't have older children so maybe she was being flippant.
BTW reading to your child is different from home readers- they are largely incredibly dull and uninspiring! (and I am a teacher)
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Mrsmac, you are so right LOL but DD1 gets a kick out of reading it by herself. Maybe the reward system is a bit OTT, but it appeals to DD's competitive natureI guess too that she already appreciates the joy of reading, so it really isn't necessary for her except for the school recognition. Like I said, we don't force it on her - if she is tired or doesn't want to do it thats no biggie. But there's no way she will not let me do it tonight LOL I asked!
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My point is - you can not possibly *know* with any certainty just by overhearing a conversation that the speaker could not 'be bothered' or whether there were other issues in her life that made it difficult.Marydean, I thought I was being specific when I mentioned parents who can't be bothered. I never said anything critical about parents whose family circumstances don't permit them to do it for whatever reason. Sorry you read it that way.
I believe the term 'keyhole judging' could be applied here. Particularly given the leap you made from a daily reading task to quality of parenting. Your original thread title included the words "idiot parents", and in the edit you have retained "crappy parents" and "morons" and sorry but I don't think that level of derision is warranted based on a fragment of a conversation.
Last edited by AnyDream; March 22nd, 2010 at 06:35 PM.
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OK Marydean, that's your opinion and you're entitled to it. Knowing that you didn't hear the conversation I am entitled to disagree with you. Sorry, but I won't argue the point any further with you.
And BTW I did not edit the title of my post, it was done for me I'm assuming by a mod.
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Is there a need to attack the OP. She was frustrated, when we are frustrated we say things we don't always mean. She has apologised and her title was changed on her i think we should leave it at that.
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1stTimeMumma, please explain how my post is a direct attack on Megsmum. She has expressed an opinion about a subject, and I have expressed an opinion about a subject, and at no time have I made a comment about MM personally. I actually appreciate that MM is happy to disagree with me and I thought that part of the conversation was over. ???
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I don't think it's a good idea to be smug with these things. We as parents are never perfect and whilst you or your child might excel in one area it's not cool to bag out others who do not. That's not to say don't be proud of your efforts or your child's - you should be! But just because this is something you and your child have achieved does not mean others who don't are any less than you as a parent. I know you were frustrated and annoyed because of the comments made about you in earshot, but don't fall into the trap of becoming like them because who knows maybe that's how they got to be that way too.
Some children can actually read without any help or guidance from family or school. I know a few kids like this in fact. Just as other children who are read to every night, numerous books in fact can still struggle to read.
It's hard being a mum, and it's even harder when we take our children back into the schoolyard as sometimes it can feel like we've just stepped back a decade or so to our own childhood with the politics that can take place.
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Age 3, I could read all my letters and some words.
Age 3, DS can now pick out the letter of his first name.
Age 3, DH had little idea what a written word was. (He's dyslexic and was very slow to read.)
DH and I were brought up in booky homes. I know I read a lot to DS. He is better at pictures than words. I prefer words. Hence me being on a forum and him playing with other children. I think in text. When someone speaks, I hear the word then turn it into text in my head so I can fully understand it. Thankfully I don't think the boys are like that.
I'm more upset at a reward system. When I was younger, the readers got nothing and the sporty kids had all the rewards. Even though tables have turned, I now worry that the sporty kids will feel under-valued because they don't get the rewards. Rewards for learning and taking care of your health are BAD - the reward is that you have learnt something, that you are healthy. Not a little star. The reward for being polite and helpful is a good reputation, not a toy. I teach DS this. We learn this for the love of learning. We run for the love of running. We help because we are kind and others appreciate the help. We accept help gracefully because the other person is kind and we don't wish to offend.
Toys? He has too many and told me so this morning. Toys are not a reward. (Playing "mighty snap" is and the only thing you need for that is Mamma's hand and a sofa to fall backwards onto once you "snap" the fingers off.)
BellyBelly Life Subscriber
Good on you, Megsmum, I think it's great your little one enjoys reading so much! I loved reading as a child, and its an attitude I try and foster in my children. That said, I think it's easy to forget how hard it is to get a child to do something they don't want to do, especially when it is an activity (like reading) that our own children love.
Molly is getting home readers sent home, two a week, and you know what? I am struggling to get through them as well! Between finding time to read the two library books she religiously borrows each week, practicing her sight words booklet, and letting Olivia choose a book occasionally for her bedtime story, it actually becomes quite difficult to get through two home readers a week. So to a certain extent, I can sympathise for that Mum - I dread what we'll do when extracurricular activities start to gain pace.
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Yeah, it was. Sorry, but we don't really condone name calling on the forum.
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Wait until the readers get longer too!! When they get older its more effort to read cause it can take ages to get through the reader.
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That's OK by me Schmickers, I just wanted to be clear that I hadn't changed it myself YK? In hindsight it would have been better had I titled it "Vent about parents who can't be bothered"
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You know, I'm not sure about this. I think it depends on the child. Molly is naturally competitive - and when something turns into a competition, she will try her hardest. I think a system that leverages that works really well for her. At her school, it is the same reward system for all activities, academic or sporting, so it works really well for her.
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Its not a competition as such because everyone gets the reward no matter when they get to 25 readers. (or it is at my school)
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Ours is the same Mrsmac, I imagine its a NSW public school thing. Your DD sounds like mine Schmickers, she always tries hard if its something she enjoys, but will try even harder if there's a reward at the end - even if it is just a certificate
I don't think the award system (I'll say award instead of reward because that's what it really is, we don't buy her toys or the like for getting awards) is a totally bad thing for academic and sporting achievement, as long as it is the same for both and all kids who do well are recognised.
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My children's Primary School has the reading award system too and I believe it is an encouragement for the children, DD loves receiving her awards at assembly. I found it much easier when she was younger but now in grade 3 her readers are chapter books and she brings home 2 per night, 4 library books a week plus maths and spelling words for homework. With 3 other children I am finding it hard some nights to sit down and listen to her read but she will often sit down in the kitchen while I'm cooking and read to me. I also sometimes need to help DS with his homework all while watching a toddler. Sometimes we just have to stop and realize that every family's situations are different.
Regards,
Dianne
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