Vent about overheard comment

[tan32]

My 6 yr old Ds brings home a reader every day from school, it is i thought expected of them to read it each night, or at least part of it. He reads to me every night. My eldest DD 11 yrs old now reads her books by herself as she is a confident reader..
and DS 2 brings us his little books to sit and read to him after his big brother has read..

Sometimes he reads to me and i sit with him, other times he sits and reads to me while i prepare dinner or wash dishes etc.

and may i add my kids do extra activities too , like soccer, swimming and dancing... It is hard.......but it is my choice and i want my children to read, having a father who cannot read or write I watched my Mum teach him as an adult. I want to try and help my kids as much as possible.

Good on her for liking to read, and some parents can't help but moan about something

[Epacris]

I just wanted to throw my DH's story into the mix, he went to an airy-fairy-arty-farty Steiner school and didn't learn to read or write at all until he was 12 yes 12. He was way too busy playing in the dirt and doing that funny dancing that they do. He was read to as a child and he did do the most beautiful and colourful drawings. And he went on to do very well in the HSC and at uni and reads all the time now (actually, a little too much, not enough help with the housework for my liking ).

Meh, everyone's different, and it's impossible to get a good idea of the full story from a tiny snippet of information. I'm sure most of DH's family thought my PIL were mad but DH turned out alright in the end (IMHO of course ).

[Smoke Jaguar]

I was thinking about this a bit and decided that I was confused. What is the OP about? Is it dismay that someone misjudged your approach to the reading program? Or do you judge those who do not encourage a reader a night?
I suspect that whatever the main point was, it was confounded by the bite-back judgment and now everyone's got their backs up.
Yes, it was unfair of this other mother to be so judgmental of how much your DD reads. Nuff said. Good on your DD for being so interested
No need to take someone down to build yourself up

[Inanna]

Aaaah the "arty farty school" Epacris!!!! My kids go to one of these!!! They discourage awards and rewards and it's personal best that's important...

My oldest DD has gone to "mainstream" schools and like other Mamas I read to her from birth... She loves books and I spent hours doing home readers. It was easy with just one child and only her extra curricular activities to navigate.

DS loves books too and like his sister before him I read tirelessly - a night time story happened every night. Now he reads on his own & he can't stand the home readers he has sent home as they are "too easy" for my little Professor! So, I negotiated with his teacher that he reads but his books. Sometimes he reads them to me as we lay down on the bed or sometimes I even read them to him - he's a bit blanket is my boy so I try to give him the expressive content (I am an animated and ferocious expresser in reading! )

My DD7 was read to also and loves to read - she is now happier to read on her own also and is currently reading the wishing chair. Sometimes she reads out loud to me whilst I cook, bake, chop, fold... Othertimes she reads alone rushing in to tell me of "Fanny's" latest experience in the Faraway Tree! Home readers are sadly neglected often with her and her younger sister... I feel guilty especially reading this thread. It's just so hard to hear two people read every night now that DD6 has home readers also...

However, they are exposed to reading everywhere we go... We reald out the street signs, the list of ingredients in the supermarket, the bank, the chemist... We do lots of that.

I think it's bloody hard being a parent - when you are a lone parent it's even harder. Perhaps the person who made the comment was (I highly suspect) just responding from a place of guilt (almost always not warranted)... But nobody is a crappy parent because they don't read. We all have different priorities. My friend rarely reads to her kids but they play all types of musical instruments. I cook bake, create... Someone else does another...

I think you felt insulted and I get why Megsmum... We all respond in ways that could be better at times. I just think the amount or not of readers a child reads doesn't equate to the quality of the parent. Perhaps the values, time restraints etc more than anything else...

[diannescruffy]

Inanna, you brought up a great point, reading is not all about reading a "reader". Our children are encouraged to read the school newsletter, newspaper, magazines etc and they are allowed to also write them in for their award. We also in the car read out street names or products in the supermarket.

Regards,
Dianne

[nicjay]

I think you felt insulted and I get why Megsmum... We all respond in ways that could be better at times. I just think the amount or not of readers a child reads doesn't equate to the quality of the parent. Perhaps the values, time restraints etc more than anything else...

Sorry, don't have time for a big post, but just wanted to say that you summed it up quite well here Inanna. I don't pass judgement on those who can't for family reasons, or those who don't do it every night - we don't do it every night either.

My post was just dismay directed at someone who acted like it was too much trouble to read to their child at all. Mayaness, and it wasn't judgement directed at my child, but at someone elses, sorry if that wasn't clear in my OP.

Gosh I hope I'm not getting myself in any more trouble here just wanted to clarify.

[Where there's hope]

I'm a little late posting here, but I just wanted to thank Megsmum for opening up a very interesting (if not lively) discussion about homework for littlies, in general.

From what I can gather from reading the posts, reading is homework for some parents and for others it creates bonding time with their child. Either way I think it is a win-win situation. It is also interesting to read about differences between States. When I was at school I don't think we had any kind of homework until I was in 3rd Grade, but my family moved around a lot. I do remember when my Dad read to me it was quite a treat

IMO one of the good things about these set reading tasks is it encourages one-on-one time between parents and their children that is so hard to find when in so many families both parents are working.

Megsmum - I know first-hand the absolute hell you went through to have No.2 and how passionate/enthusiastic you feel about things. I don't think you set out to sound harsh and it is important that we can all have a vent with our sisters xx

[fionas]

The way I read the OP was that the overheard comment was done in a dismissive way to those that DO read and who value reading. The comment wasn't saying, "I wish I could read but other things get in the way," - it' was perceived to be more of a "why would you do it at all" sort of comment.

While I think it's good to always try to see the other side of a story and acknowledge that every family's situation is different, I don't think there's anything wrong in questioning why people wouldn't value reading regardless of whether they actually get time to do it with their child or not.

I would think that most parents would have to have been living under a rock to NOT know the importance of reading to/with their child.

My parents were not educated people (both left school at 14), didn't have a single book in the house for them so were not readers at all - yet somehow they knew (even before every researcher and his cat came out with a study every second day confirming it) that reading was very important and read to me and my sister every single night and during the day until we were old enough to want to read on our own.

I'd be interested in finding out whether people think that parents DO know that reading is important (regardless of whether they actually do it) or whether they think it should be left to the school etc. etc.?