When your child started childcare was it better or worse than what you expected?

[LoveKnowsNoBounds]

I am trying to work out what age I would feel comfortable with putting my DS into childcare. I am thinking about 2, but would love to go back to work from when he was 18 months. I am thinking one day to start off with, then two days once he got the hang of it. I am very worried about how I will feel about it all and the guilt factor. Thus my question, was it better or worse than what you expected? how did your little one react? how old were they? I am very jittery about it and hate the unhelpful loaded comments I get from people I know, so anything that you say will be a tremendous help.

[visitor1]

DD1 started at 6 months old...and to this day cant miss day care for the world....enjoys it so much!!

[Boo Boo]

Rylee started at 18 months - only goes once a week but from day one hasn't shed a tear.....comes home telling me all about her little friends she is making. I did feel guilty but I can see she enjoys it and I get a day off (my husband is away for 6 weeks at a time) so it works out for everyone.

Good luck.
Laurin

[~Amy~]

Mya started at about 18 or 19 months..........just b4 Bodhi was born. She started going only 1 day a week. She loved every minute of it. As she got older & moved into the older classes i thought she would benefit from an extra day. Having her there that extra day has really helped her behaviour & her attitude around other kids.
Every know & then she still gets a bit teary when i drop her off, it never lasts tho & when i go to pick her up she doesnt want to leave
Having her there 2 days a week is great for her & for me. She has turned into quite the social butterfly, when she used to be quite shy. Plus it gives me 1 on 1 time with Bodhi.

I think u really need to find a daycare that is right for u. Have a look around & do ur homework on them cause they are not all the same.

Good luck with it all

[MantaRay]

Definitely better. Both times! They both loved it and I found that meant I didn't feel as bad leaving them as I was expecting. I have also seen that sometimes it is harder when they start later, as changes become harder for them as they get to a certain age (different for all kids). So 18 months might be easier for your DS than 2. I know my DS took longer to adjust to a new day care at 19 months, then to his first one at 7 months. This totally surprised me, but I also found that other changes started to upset him too, that hadn't phased him before that. I think this is just a normal thing that happens as their cognitive ability develops.

Do allow some time for him to settle in too. My boys both settled in really well, but other kids take a while. As with any change, kids can take time to adjust, so don't panic and get upset if he isn't the life of the party on the first day.

Just one other thing - often they are better off starting 2 days a week from the beginning as once a week is more disruptive for them. I found with my boys that they settled in more quickly when they were there 2 days than when they were there 1 (and the carers tell me this is normal).

[Visitor7]

I too would suggest starting with 2 days rather than 1. At least with 2 days, they become more familiar with the centre, and quicker. I started taking Nina 2 days a week from around 6 months, and like Kimbaz's DD, she couldn't miss a day now! She loves it. The morning she's due to do, I tell her she's going to 'school' and we pack her bag together. And the whole car trip to the centre, she's squealing with excitement in the car!
A friend of mine has recently started taking her DS to daycare, one day a week, and he's just turned 2. He hasn't settled well at the centre yet, but he's gone from being home by himself all the time, with only adults around, to suddenly being in a very different environment.
Good luck with it. There will be times when they shed a tear or two, and you feel very guilty about leaving them there, but then when you pick them up at the end of the day, you find out that they've had a great day!

[Liviam]

Hi Jan,
Olivia started at childcare when she was 9 months old and went anything up to four days a week. She absolutely loves it!!!!! When I carry her down the hallway to her room she claps and squeals. When we go in her room she slaps me in the face and pushes off me until I put her down and off she crawls.
I must admit that even though she loves it so much some days I still get the mummy guilts, especially when other mums make you feel like a bad mum for working and being a stay at home mum. Or the days she isn't feeling the greatest but she has to go anyway. Those days are hard but they are far out weighed by the great days.
She does paintings, drawings, plays in water, with playdough and gets social interaction.
The decision is so hard so best of luck with it.

[LoveKnowsNoBounds]

Thanks so much ladies. It is such a hard decision! I know that my in laws won't be happy when I do make a decision as they have a policy of no childcare until age 3. I personally think that is abit late. So I know I will be condenmed when I do put him in on tops of my mummy guilts already. Why do i care what people think? I must be crazy!

[SugarDust]

Was it better or worse than what you expected? Better, it gave them both a new idependance!

How did your little one react? They both love/d it!

How old were they? Jason was 2.5 and marcus was 1

Both my boys love it they jump out of bed get dressed and we go!

[Nai]

Better!! Initially I was reluctant as DD was 12 months old but she adores it. She comes home now and tells me all about what she did that day. She is only 2yrs 3 mths but her vocabulary and comprehension is just mind boggling. They do so many things that I wouldn't think of doing (and of course then steal the ideas to do at home) plus she has developed some really strong bonds and social skills.

I agree that 2 days is better than 1 especially from forming friendships and becoming used to how things work. You will probably find that they will do things at childcare that they don't do at home just because all the other kids do it and it is part of the daily routine.

[~Kim~]

No offence Jan, but your ILs aren't the parents of your bub. THeir policy doesn't have to be yours for heavens sake!
I started Darc at 16 months because I had to (we moved 600km away from family, DH went interstate for a few months I had to work) and it was the best thing she's done. She loves going and admittedly as she had to go 3 days settling wasn't an issue but she asks to go on weekends and even asked me Christmas day if she could go....

[LoveKnowsNoBounds]

Thanks Kim, I think I needed that! I hate criticism but will just have to learn to put up with it. I'm surprised that so many kids love their childcare, it is great to hear. I was also surprised about the 2 days rather than 1 and will think about that abit more.

[Isadora]

Hi Kim, my in laws have similar views, but we just dont listen haha! My DD has been in care from about 4 months for two days a week. I had no choice but to go back to work. In an ideal world I would have liked to have waited till she was at least 12 months.

[~breeze~]

My DD started when she was 15 months old & was going 5 days a week at that stage as I was a single mum & going to tafe full time. Looks like mine is the only one here so far that screamed & screamed for the first few weeks when I dropped her off. The carers assured me it was normal & the best thing to do is to say bye & reassure DD I'd be back soon to pick her up then leave straight away, don't drag it out.

After about 3 or so weeks there were no more tears & haven't been since.

I'm now back with my hubby & she is going to a different daycare 2 days a week, she's been going to this one for a year now & loves it.

It was only the initial weeks that were hard (harder for me than her because she stopped crying within 5-10 mins after me dropping her off, I was feeling guilty all day & would call the centre in my breaks to find out how she was doing LOL) I even thought about dropping my course & staying home with her because I hated seeing her cry but I'm so glad I gave her the time to settle in as not only does she absolutely LOVE daycare but I also NEED the 2 days a week for myself (& the housework LOL)

She is always talking about kindy & has made some great friends. I think it's great for kids to attend daycare if possible.

I hope my story of how DD started off with crying etc hasn't put you off. Apparently it's normal, all of my friends kids went through it aswell, obvioulsy some took longer than others to adjust & it also depends on the age I think, I know DD was very clingy to me when I started sending her so I think that made it harder than if it was perhaps 6 months earlier or 6 months later??? I just wanted you to know if your little one does cry for the first week or so that you're not alone & it is quite common, although seeing all the other posts in here you wouldn't think so LOL Others here must have been the lucky percent whose children adjust to big changes easily.

Good luck, I hope you're in the percent mentioned above (easily adjust) & I know your little one will absolutely LOVE it (even if it does take a while).

[~Kim~]

You're welcome babe! Good luck.

[MantaRay]

Jan, I think the reason that 2 days a week works better is because for a littlie, 7 days between kindy days is a long, long time. So it doesn't feel like such a regular thing, and there is so much time in between they don't remember the routines etc so well. Twice a week just gives them a bit more familiarity in the new environment so they get used to it more quickly. Mind you, one a day a week is probably easier on the mummy LOL!!

[Karina]

Claire started when she was 12 months old. She goes 3 days a week - mon, tues and wed. We use family day care. I went a few times and stayed an hour or two with her and we played together and with the other kids there, jst so that she could get used to it while I was there too. Our carer said that Claire has always been quite happy when I am not there. She still usually gets grumpy when I leave, but she is happy by the time I am walking out the gate. She has lots of fun, she is happy when we pick her up, she eats and sleeps well. I did feel guilty for the first few weeks and sometimes I still do feel bad about leaving her there. But I think its good for her - she has the chance to play with other kids which she doesnt really have at home.
The thing that was really hard at the beginning though was trying to get DH to help me. We use FDC and are required to provide food and nappies for her. Due to my stupid work and our FDC lady being on jury duty directly before Claire started, she only had one week of going to FDC before I went back to work, which meant things were really rushed. Being back at work, I was super tired and was falling asleep at like 7pm. I'd ask DH if he couild pack Claires bag and lunchbox for the next day and he'd say OK. I'd wake up later and find he hadnt because he "didnt know what she needed" (he lacks initiative and is lazy) which meant I was wasting time in the morning (and dropping off Claire late and getting to work late) because I was having to do it all at the last minute. So make sure you involve your DH so he knows whats going on and what has to happen and how to help you out too.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

My DS started at 12m old. I was happy with that as I had NO time off before DS was 11m old, not even to have a shower. Then DH had him for 2 hours on a Friday for a month to get used to having DS half a day a week.

The first childcare was rubbish. Absolutely awful. After a month I put DS in another nursery and he loved it - still does. He tries to get himself dressed on nursery days: watching him put his socks on is just too funny! So I did feel bad leaving him at the first centre, but I had to - otherwise how do we eat or pay the mortgage? I don't feel at all bad leaving him now, in fact he cries when we leave the centre these days!

As for your in-laws: tell them they can pay your mortgage and you'll stay at home then. If my PiL had come out with that I'd have really laid into them. Even older people who now "don't understand what has changed so that you have to work" I explain that thanks to feminism women are expected to work, so food, house prices and basic amenities such as electricity are more expensive as companies are used to two wages covering this.

DH was in both nurseries twice a week at first (then once at the old and twice at the new), 3 times a week at the new one now (in-laws can't/won't provide childcare) and within 2 weeks at the new place was settled and loving it. Seriously, he has come on so much and enjoys it a lot. Get a good nursery and you'll have piece of mind too.