My DS started at 12m old. I was happy with that as I had NO time off before DS was 11m old, not even to have a shower. Then DH had him for 2 hours on a Friday for a month to get used to having DS half a day a week.

The first childcare was rubbish. Absolutely awful. After a month I put DS in another nursery and he loved it - still does. He tries to get himself dressed on nursery days: watching him put his socks on is just too funny! So I did feel bad leaving him at the first centre, but I had to - otherwise how do we eat or pay the mortgage? I don't feel at all bad leaving him now, in fact he cries when we leave the centre these days!

As for your in-laws: tell them they can pay your mortgage and you'll stay at home then. If my PiL had come out with that I'd have really laid into them. Even older people who now "don't understand what has changed so that you have to work" I explain that thanks to feminism women are expected to work, so food, house prices and basic amenities such as electricity are more expensive as companies are used to two wages covering this.

DH was in both nurseries twice a week at first (then once at the old and twice at the new), 3 times a week at the new one now (in-laws can't/won't provide childcare) and within 2 weeks at the new place was settled and loving it. Seriously, he has come on so much and enjoys it a lot. Get a good nursery and you'll have piece of mind too.