My DD started having pretty extensive (and expensive) dental surgery at 4.5years old. She has had 2 root cannal therapy and 4 fillings in the past 9months awake in the dental chair. Our dentist is fantastic and I do have one very brave girl. She went to see him because of a tooth ache and it turned out he couldn't fix the tooth with just a filling. He did to start with but she still had pain so he tooth the nerves and blood supply out and put antibiotics into it and a temporary filling in. It took 3 visits to fix that tooth. He said it wasn't a tooth she could loose as she already had permanent molars behind it and if it came out the permanent teeth would move forward and when the front teeth came through she would have a crowding problem. It turned out DD had to have the same thing on the other side due to a recurrent abcess.
Originally he said he would trial her and see how she coped depending on how she reacted if she would need a general. He was pretty confident DD was mature enough to cope just fine. He said it really wasnt an option to have the tooth removed. Once she was a little teary (after the 3rd time I sat in the waiting room) She came out a little teary as she had some local by a needle which was the first time. He always used a local gel but just the thought of the needle frightened her I don't think it hurt at all.
On her final visit DD wanted to write a love letter to the dentist thanking him for fixing her teeth and to tell him she loved him (I wouldnt let her) She definately was not traumatised. The dentist kept it short and sweet almost everytime. She had approx 8 visits all up over a number of months. I never had any issues getting her to go to the dentist. I'm really pleased she didn't need a general. I'd get a second opinion if your not happy with what your dentist advised.