i've already packed two books - the one i was reading at work, the one i'm reading at home - will choose which one seems to appeal the most tomorrow
i've worked out clothes i can wear that will be comfy enough to sleep in - will throw some toiletries in just in case. we don't live far from the hospital (less than 10 minutes) so if she is in overnight, i'll send DH home and he can grab anything extra we might need. dinner is organised, so we can grab that and reheat it anywhere we can find a micro
oh, mum has a key at the moment, and has to drop dad at work a couple of k's from home tomorrow night (she drives almost past our house) so i can get her to grab anything too - she drives back past the hospy to get home
have to remember to pack phone charger - if i've got that, i'm set
oh yeah, my worry is breathing germs on her while i'm BF her too!
and the fact that she insists on kissing LOTS around sleep times - mummy, then daddy, now daddy has to kiss mummy, then we have to kiss her again, then cuddles, more kisses, goodnight, sweet dreams, love you moon and back, MUMMY you have to say it too, one more kiss, then boob and bed lol
Sigh - i HATE having anxiety issues at the best of times
this most certainly isn't the best of times. Nearly fell apart with DH earlier - things we'd discussed yesterday, and he asked me the same stuff again - i just asked him how the hell he could forget from yesterday, i was barely holding it together, i didn't care what he did, just let me focus on breathing - and making sure i don't fall apart for Miss E.
The little girl that ALWAYS wakes up when i'm getting ready for work decided today was the day she wasn't going to wake up! It took aaaaaaaaaaages. but she's now up and showered and watching TV (a concession seeing she can't eat or drink - any distraction at the point!)
my stomach is one huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge knot and i feel like i want to hurl. anti up-chuck drugs have been moved from work bag to handbag just in case. wish i could tolerate anti anxiety meds so this sort of stuff didn't defeat me like this
on the upside, E is completely unaware of my anxiety today. i've managed to cover it pretty well.
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