Poor bubba mum - you're not a bad mummy!!!!!!

ok a strange and bizarre thing that is totally out there, but may help a bit, you can get lubricant specifically designed for anal sex (yes I can imagine you sending your DH into a sex shop to get it), it has a bit of local in it to "numb" the area. Unsure if you can use it for Little-Miss-No-Poo because of her age, but I know that you can get something similar at the chemist (a lubricant/cream type thing with local in it). I did say it was strange and bizarre

I'm just thinking this might help mildly numb the area so that the physical act of pushing doesn't hurt as much.