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Thread: Circumcision??

  1. #1
    Butterfly_Princess Guest

    Default Circumcision??

    Hey all!!
    DP and i have been discussing lately what we will do if we have a son re: Circumcision.
    We both agree on not getting it done, BUT there is one question thats risen to mind.
    As DP is circumcised, i worry that if we dont get our son done (if we have one) he may see he is different to daddy, and get scared that something is wrong with him?
    I was just wondering if there is any one out there in a similar position, and if there has been a issue of son thinking something is wrong with him because he isnt like daddy??


  2. #2

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    We only have daughters, but I am circumcised, and both myself and Victoria are dead against the practice.

    I thinks it is a great jumping off point for conversation regarding body parts, but then we are quite relaxed about nudity at home and we expect the children to know about all of their bits and pieces! I don't think it's too difficult to field the question of why you look different with a simple answer that is accessible to a child - for instance "when daddy was very little, they used to do something to boy's penises to make them look like that, but it hurt, so they don't do it anymore".

  3. #3
    Haitch Guest

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    If you have a daughter, wouldn't she think the same thing because you have big boobs and she has a flat chest? What if your son comes out with a bigger nose than either of you - that'll be different. What if your son has a birthmark on his face?

    I doubt your son would think something is wrong with him (unless some older person puts it in those words) but he may notice it's "different" and ask questions (because that's what little'uns do) and it's a good opportunity to discuss those differences - in an age-appropriate manner obviously. If he's over about age 4 and is asking, then I'd say "when daddy was a baby, his parents thought the right thing to do was change the way his penis looks. But me and daddy thought when you were born you were absolutely perfect and nothing needed changing"
    For an under-4 yr old, I'd say something like "yep, yours and daddy's penis's (penii?) are different because yours has a bit more skin - and look, your hair is brown and mummy's is red, and look, you have no freckles on your arms and daddy has some, and look, daddy's got a hairy bum and you haven't

  4. #4
    Butterfly_Princess Guest

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    Thank you schmickers! We did think explaining it would be the best option, but were looking for possible experiences any way.
    Last edited by Butterfly_Princess; November 26th, 2007 at 11:09 PM.

  5. #5

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    Hi,
    My DP and son are both done. Athough they are both done my now 3 y/o son is going through the curious stage and still thinks daddy is different cos his is bigger. I dont think it would be much different if one was and the other wasnt there will still be curiosity. My DS daycare has unisex toilets and i thought it would cause issues with the kids seeing different bits but it rarely causes problems except some of the girls try to stand up like the boys to go.
    Its a personal decision and i know it can be a heated discussion with some people but i would just like to say when my sone got done he was in no pain at all so i would have to disagree with the telling them "it hurt so they dont do it anymore". I have friends who used that line with there son and had bad problems with infections so the GP advised they get it done he was 8 and was terrified as he remembered daddy saying it hurt so they dont do it anymore. After the surgury he was in a little pain but said himself it wasnt as bad as he thought, and that he though that cos they didnt do it anymore that it was something really aweful.
    Just have to keep in mind that there are people who still get it done and its not wrong or bad (on either side)

  6. #6

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    My DH is done but DS isnt and he is now 7 he has never once asked why they are different I dont think he has even noticed I thought that it is better for my son to look the same as the boy in the locker room when he is a teen rather than looking like his dad who by that stage in his life wont be looking at his dad anyway.

    I dont think it matters too much but most little boy arnt done now as in the public system is very hard to find someone who does this anymore. Plus it will be the norm when he is ready to use it for its intened purpose so all the girls will think he look normal not the other around iykwim

  7. #7
    paradise lost Guest

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    I doubt with the size difference and the hair that the lack of foreskin would be the first thing noticed. Besides DD is constantly pointing out my hairy bits and my boobs and all the other differences which are non-surgical. It's just another one of those things. Don't worry about it.

    Bx

  8. #8

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    My XH was done, in a traditional Muslim way at age 8, and both my sons from that marriage aren't circ'd. They never asked why they were different, and now that they're old enough to understand (13 and 16) they know why their dad was done, and understand why I didn't get them done. I was prepared, if it was an issue that was raised, to explain my reasons for not having them cricumcised, and that's certainly not a difficult conversation to have, but it just never came up ever.

  9. #9

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    I think you have been given some great responses on here & I feel exactly the same way.
    Kids will always be curious about things & they are never easy to explain. But evenutally they will be old enough to understand. Also as it's not the done thing any more there will be boys in the change room that are & are not circ'd, so there will always be the difference.
    The way I see it, we are born that way & that's how we are meant to be. We don't go chopping bits of our little girls, so why do it to our boys. Needless to say my DH is Circ'd, but our DS is not.

  10. #10
    Butterfly_Princess Guest

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    Thank you all for your responses!
    Like i said though, both DP and i had agree'd not to do it, but were just looking into the possible effects it MAY have, and that was one of them that i could not find an answer to.

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