circumcision

**Jesselou** · March 18th, 2008, 07:40 AM

I was just wondering if anyone has considered circumcision, And what your thoughts of it are. We are trying to decide the right thing for our son, not us. Most of the males our age that we know are circumcised, as is my husband and most of his male family members. I am on the fence really, as I cant relate, not being a male myself. A lady my mother-in-law works with, has constant problems with her son with infections and he is not circumcised. I do realise that you need to teach your son to clean himself but is this something I should consider. There is a specialist near us that does perform these every day, and my friends son was done there without any dramas. But I don't Necessarily want to base my desicion on her though.

Jess

**meow** · March 18th, 2008, 07:45 AM

There is no way I would get it done unless it became medically required. My H wasn't done and has never had a problem... yet I know a few men who have had problems with it being done and I really feel for them because it's not reversible.

When considering it for your son too- don't look at the men around you who are done but rather the boys the same age as your son... he would be more concerned with looking like his peers than the older generation. And as it's becoming less common I would think not being done would be fine in that respect.

**Pretty Butterfly** · March 18th, 2008, 07:51 AM

These days only one or two boys per class are done. Majority are not. When my aunt went to get her son done, the doc said " your looking for the Butcher, he's down the block". I never forgot it. I do family day care and have had no circumsised boys, and none of mine are. Good luck with your decision, its a hard one!!

Studies have proven that uncircumsised have an equal amount of infection as circumsised, which is partly why its generally hard to have done. Up here you have to go private or travel away...

slyder · March 18th, 2008, 07:59 AM

Jesselou, do a search for 'circumcision' in the search box. This topic has been covered numerous times previously and you'll get lots of information from those threads. Hope this helps.

**Doing my best** · March 18th, 2008, 08:10 AM

Hi there,

Just wanted you to know that are not alone in being confused as what to do. In some ways I hope that I never have a boy as my 3 brothers are all done and DH isn't, so it will be an even harder decision.

My brother and SIL decided that they wanted to get their son done, but couldn't find a dr willing to do it without medical reasons. It was really hard for them to accept, but they did.

I agree with the other posts, that your son will want to fit in with his peers, rather than being the same as Dad or his uncles, but you also have the other side of family all being circumsized..

It is not going to be an easy decision for you, but you will make the right one for you and your family. GL with the birth..

**Rumpleteaser** · March 18th, 2008, 09:24 AM

I have to admit, I have wondered what I would do too. As I have found that many of the men I have know are circumcised, my DH is circumsied, but I'm aware that it is generally not done these days and agree that is should be based on what the children are having done these days and not what was done in the past. I did have an ex who was circumsied as a child/young teen due to infections and he seemed a little traumatised by it. I have seen it get done, without anaesetic and I wouldn't wish that upon anyone, even if it was done with anaestic, the "local" stings anyway. My thoughts are that little boys are born with foreskins, it must be there for a reason, it could be considered a form of mutilation. Female circumcision is definately a major taboo in western society, not to mention how it is often done in developing countries (but that is a differnt debate).
Though many of you wouldn't know that artifical skin (which is used in some burns situation) is grown from the basal cells of forskins, and that 1 foreskin can make a football field worth of skin.
Anyway I guess I don't plan to circumsise any sons I have, though I know my DH has said he would like his boys to look the same as him. So will cross that bridge when we get to it.

**~Raven~** · March 18th, 2008, 09:32 AM

My DH isn't and my three boys aren't either. None of them has ever had an infection if that is something that concerns you.

I do know of someone who had her son circumcised and he did end up with an infection and needed to be treated with antibiotics.

**meow** · March 18th, 2008, 09:38 AM

A friend of mine just had to get her son re-operated on because of his circumcision... this is the reason she said:

His surgery is to remove a membrane that has grown over the lower portion of the urethra opening. I guess this happens as a consequence of circumcision. The circumcision causes dryness and so a membrane grows over the opening.

**Arimeh** · March 18th, 2008, 09:44 AM

We got our son done because we didn't want to be faced with the situation of him asking us why he looked different to daddy. My DH said that he never saw any other little boys naked when he was a boy, but he saw his dad naked. So we thought it was better to make him the same as his dad, more odds on him seeing them naked.
But each to their own, I understand why people don't do it, my sister does her boys, my sister in law doesn't. I don't judge either way, I just do what is best for us.
Go with what you think is best for your family situation. Nobody elses opinion matters.

**New Dawn** · March 18th, 2008, 09:46 AM

Well my BHL is done but my DS isnt he isnt done because we couldnt find anyone who would do it for us, But that said I am now very happy that he isnt done!! He has never asked why he looks different to his Dad ( one of my consurns) and has had no problems so far, But I have a GF who had her son done and he has come home asking why he is different to his friends... So when it comes down to it, its his mates he want to look like not his Dad as his Dad isnt the one in the change room with him his friends are and kids can be mean... Plus when he is older the girls/boys whichever they deside to be with will be used to it been there not the other way around...

**Rouge** · March 18th, 2008, 09:52 AM

We had our son done because we were more comfortable with the idea than not. There is plenty of information.

If you do a forum search on "Circumcise" I am sure you will come up with a few threads that may help.

Please can I remind everyone that due to the sensitivity of this topic please refrain from making derogative comments regarding both sides. We can explain our reasons without being offensive or disrespectful to others.

**Rumpleteaser** · March 18th, 2008, 09:56 AM

I do remember a little boy came into ED once, having pushed his foreskin back, so he looked like his Dad and it wouldn't go back. Luckily the Dr managed to get it back over, so he didn't need a circumcision. I have also cared for several young men, who for what ever reason decided to DIY circumcision, not a good idea.

**kristy J** · March 18th, 2008, 09:58 AM

this is an arguement waiting to happen. this subjet always is.

ok my advice is to make a list of the pro's and cons in regard to having it done. use medical reasons (not peoples opinions) to decide, (i personally think just because dad is done is NOT a good reason)
Visit your local sergion who would be the one to perform it, and get some of the info from them aswell.

I did have my son done and i will be having my twin boys done aswell when they are about a week old. If you would like to see my lists of why we chose to have it done i am more than happy to PM it to you. to look over.

on our personal list we only had one reason not to have it done and thats that something might go wrong but in life this can happen so many times with different things.
I respect people who choose not to have it done as their lists and reasons would be different to mine.

i will just let you know that in my mothers group their are quite a few who are done. and over 1/2 my friends have also chosen to do it as well.

I just recomend to do whats right for you and not what you think is popular.

i live in sydney if you would like to speak to a sergion to get facts about how they do it i am more than happy to tell you a few names of Dr's who came very highly recomended to me by my midwife while i was PG with DS. also you can actually watch it being done with the plasti bell on a medical site i found. cant remember what it was but it was very helpful.

also my mum workes in a age hostel and the men who are not done have many more medical issues than the ones who are

Good luck

**Ozziehoffy** · March 18th, 2008, 11:18 AM

Personally it was not an option with mine. I think that the foreskin is there for a reason and it's actually to help protect the head and to keep it clean. Neither of my boys are done and one is almost 1 and the other is almost 15. To date neither of them have had any problems whatsoever.... the skin pulls back when it's ready usually by around 5 years old and it works it way back slowly ... it's part of the reason little boys "play".

That doc I think you're referring to in Brissy.. my friend did get her little boy done there (he's 11 months old) and had problems with infection after and had to go back to get it fixed! She said that she would NEVER do it again and wished she could go back in time.

Oh and on the note of looking like the others... I don't think they notice the "difference" until they are old enough to have a brief explanation anyway so I don't see that as an issue or for me as part of the decision making process.

Best of luck!

**Antheia** · March 18th, 2008, 01:21 PM

Our son is not done and neither will any future sons we have.

But when i was pregnant with DS was seriously considering having him done. When he was born though i just didn't have the heart to go through with it.

I don't think that when he is growing up he will ask why he is different to his mates as most boys these days are not done, so chances are he will look like the majority of them anyhow.

**pansy** · March 18th, 2008, 01:26 PM

this is a very personal decision..If I have boys in the future I will not have them done even though DH is circumsised...

A friend of mine (she is 55) recently had her son ask her why she had him done when he was a baby as he is very anti circumsision..He now has 2 boys of his own and she said the conversation she had with him had really upset her..I guess that is something to think about even 29 yrs down the track as an adult

**helper** · February 18th, 2009, 10:14 AM

I am trying to send a member a pm concerning circumcision however I do not seem to have the permissions I need to contact them. What should I do? I am wanting to help parents whom are wanting to get the circumcision done.