What sort of sling/s have your tried Jan? I found E didn't want to be in a ring sling but was sometimes (and I emphasise sometimes) happy in an ergo. J would be big enough to go in some sort of upright carrier now with her legs long which might be gentler on her stomach. If you want to try my ergo, I'm happy to send it to you to see how it goes. I'm not going to need it back for quite a bit yet. Have you tried her in any sling/carrier in a hip carry, or is she only happy on your shoulder? E would only semi settle tummy to tummy so I started standing side-on with E in the ergo when I had to do anything like dishes, preparing meals etc. Cooking on the stove with her in the carrier always worried me a bit though. We ended up with lots of one pot casseroles, roasts and slow cooker meals because I could do prep them in the limited time I had without a screaming child. I also did a bit of a cook up on weekends when DH was around to hold the screaming banshee. I also bought LOTS of pre-prepared meals from our local market grocer.

Really hard on Mr J too when his mum is so tied up with his baby sister, which adds to your guilt I know but if Iz is anything to go by, they get over it.

Otherwise, just hugs. Its bloody bloody hard.