Oh hun, wish I was closer.

I wouldn't bother worrying about naps in his bed. I wore DD2 in a wrap or sling for all of her naps for her first three months or so (not for reflux, just would not sleep without me). 40 mins was the best she ever did for about 12 mths. I know you have a dodgy back, so I'd try to find a group of babywearers near you who can help you out with different carries and carriers to find what works for you. When your DH or anyone you trust is around, give DS2 to them to hold if that helps you get things done.

And def call on anyone who's offered help, food, shopping, or babysitting until you are on your feet. Don't be embarrassed to ask for a bit of a hand - you've got a tougher gig than you expected.