Maybe it's separation anxiety and she's screaming in anticipation of your leaving.
Perhaps just taking a little more time for cuddles or holding her hand, or something like that...? I'm not sure. We have to lie down with DS for him to go to sleep, but I'm not sure how that works when they're in a cot.
Only other thought is that maybe she doesn' like the cot. But that doesn't explain why it's ok during the day.
I used to sit with DS1 until he went to sleep or was very sleepy.
Most often he fed (bottle) to sleep after 12 months, but as he got older and didnt want to go to bed I would sit on a chair next to his cot and sing to him, or pat and shush.
Our bedtime routine was a bit more simple - dinner, bath, bottle, bed
I found it a lot easier to get him to bed that way. I had no problem sitting with him til he was sleepy and it was usually 30 mins max We had lavender oil/wash in the bath as he got older too and this may have helped.
Sometimes hed be falling asleep in his high chair at dinner, then we'd skip the batha nd just have a bottle and bed.
Only take on board what advice you want to.
You only go in to her too quickly if its quicker that YOU want, not someone else. FWIW I never left either of mine to cry longer than 45-60 seconds (proper crying, grizzling I've left them but not sobbing)
If you decide to change anything in your routine, keep in mind it can take to notice a difference and three weeks for a big change but tatsh about as long as it normally takes when you are consistent in your approach.
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