OK, I admit it, I am at my wits end! DH has gone back OS to work for 9 weeks and I am on my own trying get DS ready and settled in his own bed before the next one arrives
We were co-sleeping until about 3 months ago where we moved him into his own room. I would lie with him until he went to sleep, then getting bigger it simply was not working and I would sit next to his bed in a chair and wait for him to go to sleep. Now I am trying to get him to go to sleep without me in the room. We do the same bedtime routine, I hop into bed with him, read a book and we have a brief chat about the day, lots of kisses and cuddles, then I give him a kiss and tell him I will be back soon. Well soon never happens because I spend the next hour or so outside his room because he gets out of bed every 15 seconds, I put him back with kisses and cuddles. If he stays in bed for longer (and I am talking about 20 seconds) then I pop in, more kisses and cuddles, let him know I will be back soon and leave.
This does not seem to be working at all. After a week I would expect him to stay in bed for longer than 15 seconds before coming out!
Any ideas or suggestions would be a life saver at this point because I am tired, emotional and don't want to start yelling at him and making bedtime a negative experience for us both. It never has been up until now
I am guessing that you ask him to stay in his bed?
What you have done sounds very similar to what I had to do with my DS and he started sleeping on his own at around 22 months. MY DS's bed is quite high off the ground though so I think he was too freaked out to try and get out of it!
Sorry I don't really know what else you can do, except maybe rewards for staying in his bed?
It sounds like you are really gently encouraging him to make the transition from cosleeping to being on his own. It's probably not something he's delighted about, but I understand how you must be ready!
If he stays in his bed, am I right in understanding that you go back in? I'd personally hold back from going in to kiss him if he's quietly lying in bed. Persisting with putting him back, without too much fuss or cuddles (ie firmly, but gently, no talking, maybe a quick shh and a pat - unless he's upset), will eventually pay off. As long as you're consistent he will learn that this is the new way of going to bed and will adjust.
That's my suggestion, as unhelpful as it might be! But it really sounds like you already are doing the best thing, you just need to keep going. It will get better and it probably will happen pretty quickly. What a lovely Mummy taking such care of your little boy!
Sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time, it is exhausting
I am lucky that once asleep he pretty much sleeps through the night now, but it was weeks and weeks of me climbing back into his bed with him until he went back to sleep, then creeping out and getting back into my own bed, at one point I was doing this every 2 hours or so and eventually he started waking less often through the night. As I said now he wakes maybe once or twice, but does come into bed with us at about 5:00am and then stays with us until he gets up for good. I just want to be able to put him down for the night and walk out of the room rather than stay with him until he falls asleep
Hope you start to see the light at the end of the tunnel soon, I feel the pressure to get this organised befre bubs arrives, but have come to accept that it may not be so and to just go with the flow as I have done when he was born. My mantra, this too shall pass, and it always does in the end.
We still lie and talk & read to our DS until he falls asleep, so I've got no advice based on experience, but I've heard lots of people say that consistently picking them up and putting them back in bed every time they get out is what works. Goodluck, it must be hard on your own & being pg to top it off.
tried picking up and putting him back into bed, did not work. Think he simply is not ready for that transition yet. He is also finding it difficult that I can't pick him up as much as I used to and he gets frustrated with the bump getting in the way of cuddles. Poor bubs, to young to explain everything to, so have decided to be a bit more understanding.
FWIW my son is 2.5 and we still stay with him until he goes to sleep. DH is very involved in it and often does it. Other times it's a family affair, and soemtimes he just wants mum. Yeah, sometimes it would be nice to just put him in bed & shut the door, but for the most part we love it as much as he does. Life gets busy & hectic during the day & story time is the one time of the day where it's just us, no distractions, electronic devices, phones, noises, demands, etc, etc. We talk about his day, make up imaginary stories, sing the alphabet, talk about upcoming events, etc. It's a great time to connect, share, laugh and learn. It's such a lovely time that we all look forward to. We figure that he will only be so little for such a short time in the scheme of things, and it's not like we're going to look back and go, geez, I wish we'd trained that kid better and had more time to watch CSI Miami when we were in our thirties, yanno?
We've managed to keep it up despite DS2 coming onto the scene a few months ago. It just so happens that DS2 goes down for the night just before DS1's bed time, but if he's still awake, we just bring him in with us and he's usually content just to lie there with us.
It sounds like you're on your own a fair bit so it might be a little more challenging for you, but I'm sure you'll be able to find a system that works if you don't manage to get him going to sleep on his own before bubs comes. I guess I'm just trying to say, don't stress yourself and LO out if it's not working. xxx
22 month old won't stay in bed
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What a lovely Mummy taking such care of your little boy!
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