Can babies just not like sleeping?

[Haydies]

Thanks for the reply Janie, it's good to know that I am not alone in what I am going through. You are very much right in that CC is not for me, I had one bad day a month or so ago where I couldn't put the groceries away as DD was wanting to be held. Being over tired myself (I think I had had 3 hours sleep that night) and not thinking straight, I put her in her cot and just let her cry while I put the groceries in the cupboard. My reasoning for it was because if I didn't put her out of my sight, I was going to scream and loose it, and I didn't want to do that. Of course she screamed the entire time, banged her lip against the edge of the cot which split it (her lip, not the cot) and I spent the next 3 hours crying and cuddling her, so upset that she had gotten so distraught. No, CC is so not for me lol.

When she wakes at night time, I've just been feeding her back to sleep. Every two hours is hard to do though... and she's been consistently waking at 1:30am for the past two weeks. In amongst the 8pm, 10:30pm, 3:30am and 5, 6 and 7am wakes. I decided the other night that I wasn't going to feed her to sleep and instead try to get her to resettle. That was a silly decision at that hour, she didn't go back to sleep quietly. Then of course, in my stupid 1:30am not awake state, I convinced myself that I didn't want to give in after she got upset, because that will only teach her to keep crying until she gets the feed...

I think the problem with that though is I haven't slept more than two hours at a time for the past month, have mush for brain and am so tired. I can hear the way I speak to DH at the moment too, it's not normal me...

I thought it might be an over tired thing too. Given how much she wakes over night, it wouldn't surprise me if she was over tired all day. Since she's basically our alarm clock - awake between 6:30am - 7:00am every morning without fail, I start watching her closely around the 9:30am mark. Usually around 10am the hair pulling and eye rubbing starts and I drop everything to see if she's ready for bed. Gee, do you think I'm wanting those nap breaks? LOL!

Sometimes she'll go down with a feed, other times, like today, she won't. I wouldn't mind so much if she just laid there, but she'll sit up, then stand up, then start crawling off the bed. Mattress is on the floor, so easy for her to get off. Course, I did it so she wouldn't roll off and hurt herself, not so she could escape nap time lol. So she might be over tired, but I try to catch her as soon as I see her signs. I don't know - could I be wrong? She's pretty obvious (I think) with her sleep queues. She starts with a yawn, sometimes. Then it's the hair pull and eye rub. It happens so quick though, one minute she'll be playing, then BAM hair pull, eye rub, whinge.

It's so much easier when they're tiny hey?

Oh tell me about it. I feel so silly for complaining about how she did nothing but sleep in that first month. Please let me rewind time!!

I'm sure she'll get there, eventually. She has to right? It's just that after 9 months of not having more than 3 hours sleep at a time, and the no break what so ever during the day, it's starting to do my head in. I hate myself when I am tired as my patience rope gets very, very short. I've lost my cool a couple of times recently and I hate it, I hate her face when I do it, I hate to think that I'm ruining her. (My mother was always tired, lost her cool daily at me, and I needed counseling to deal with the way I was (she stuffed me up complete). I am beyond petrified of doing the same thing to DD).

Sorry for such long posts... I think most of it is just getting it off my chest at the moment. I've no longer got the mothers group (implosion), don't know any other mothers with young ones, and my BFF is 1 day overdue for her little bubs, so I don't want to bug her. Plus, she's heard me talk about this before lol.

[Ness27]

First of all,big hugs to you,you are doing a fantastic job!
I dont really have any advice but just wanted to let you know you are not alone I love my sleep and just cant understand why my DD (6mths) doesnt! She has always been a pretty bad sleeper,never had that magical sleep thru (everybody else's baby I know has-which doesnt help!) She only sleeps for 1/2 an hour (to the minute) stints during the day if Im lucky,I try putting her in her cot but most of the time she gets so upset I end up sitting on the couch with her in my arms! The days when we stay at home are the worst so i try to go out every day and the further away I have to drive the better! Least she will drop of to sleep in the car (still for exactly 30mins!)
I've had more times than I like to remember when I've lost it and yelled at her,then I feel terrible 'cos I've just yelled at my baby and Im suppose to be the one she can turn to for comfort I even feel disappointed in her because she doesnt sleep and I hate myself for thinking like that!
My DH thinks she is just to intellegent to sleep and must have so much going on in there she cant relax! So maybe we should think of it like that hey?!
Sorry I'm not much help,but like i said just wanted to let you know your not alone.Im sure one day they'll get there and when their teenagers and we cant get them outta bed till after noon least will be able to look back and (hopefully!) smile at these days when we're ready to pull out hair out!!
Well gotta go she's up again (its only been 2 hours!),good luck!

[~Saram~]

I feel your pain, another non sleeper here. We are trialing a new diet without preservatives/additives and natural food chemicals which has made quite an impact. 2 hour naps and 5-6 hours straight at night - big improvement and her tanties have settled a lot too. Check out fedup dot com dot au for the details.

All the best

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Having been told by my own mother that I am a bad mummy because DS didn't sleep through by 8 weeks, I ignore people who tell me what children "should" be doing and that my parenting damages my son.

DS hates sleep too. He still uses a buggy for day sleeps at home - but LOVES the cot at nursery. Hmm, wonder if his carer would do bedtime at home if I paid her? He sleeps pretty well now, usually one bad night a week if that, but he used to be up for a good 4-5 hours of his 11-hour main sleep.

I second the idea that intelligent babies don't like sleep, they're too busy practicing their skills.

Ness, I have to walk away and let DS scream while I calm down some nights - I'd rather me calm down than scream at him, because I feel worse then. Although DS laughs at me, but that makes me madder.

[Ness27]

The laughing is definatley worse! Sometimes DD will wake in the middle of the night happy as and ready to play!I just have to walk away and let her have a little party in her cot by herself untill she's ready (ie.cries out!) for me to rewrap her up!

Another thing my DH always says is 'people lie'.He thinks people will only tell you what they want you to know and not the real truth.I guess we're lucky to have forums like this and it helps to have a few honest friends as well!

[Janie]

Ness, our paed says that people lie too LOL! He says that there's no way MOST babies are always sleeping through by 12 months.........they're just not develpmentally ready for it.

[Curly]

Just wanted to say DO NOT think any more about what that lady told you about her fabulous sleeping babies! How wonderful for her to have babies that did that but how she thought that telling you all about it was helping you I do not know.

I could barely believe it myself when I read it - there are some great sleepers in my mother's group but they don't match that!

My DS was also a lousy sleeper and nothing would drive me mad more than people telling me smugly how great their babies were at sleeping - the obvious implication being that I was doing something wrong. It's so hard when your baby doesn't sleep as much as they are "supposed" to be sleeping, you feel jealous of the mothers that have babies that do sleep that much and you can't help but question yourself. It's soul destroying.

DS also did the very short naps and I found that I felt much better mentally when I didn't fight it even though the constant interrupted sleep was always a factor and I had days where I couldn't stand the sound of myself either because I had such a short fuse. When DS was about 11 months or so he suddenly started sleeping for longer - 2 to 3 hours at a nap time, and it was nothing we did, he just did it on his own. Mind you, that was when he started cutting out naps during the day and going to bed later at night.

Hang in there. One thing we did find helped us was that if DS was not asleep in about 20 minutes after trying to put him down, he wasn't going to sleep...so we would get him up and try again in a while.