DH didn't like sleeping in the same room as DS, even with him in a cot, so happily moved out. I was fine with him staying or going, didn't really bother me.
We now have lovely snuggly morning cuddles, the three of us, and DH just LOVES that, especially if DS wakes up after 5.30am and I let him go back to sleep in our bed (he won't sleep alone after about this time) - DS doesn't wake DH as much if he's in with us and the joy on their faces when they can play peek-a-boo over me is... quite sad, in the case of DH tbh. He's not that excited to see me first thing in the morning!
Sharing a bed again. That was quite easy. I had to re-train DH that I like to be cuddled before sleep, but that didn't take too long. We didn't have a problem with any relationship aspect either, just because we weren't sharing a bed. I mean, we didn't for quite a long time when we were dating, so it's not as if we can't enjoy each other's company outside the bedroom. But we just made sure that if we did want to do anything, we had condoms in every room of the house so wherever we were, we didn't have to sneak into the bedroom, and potentially wake DS up, so we could have sex!
We never saw it in terms of sacrificing anything, nor in benefits for DS. We just knew it was what worked for us, so go for it. We didn't feel hard done to (in fact DH loved the fact I couldn't wake him up in the middle of the night, also he got a lie-in most weekends!) and although I could state benefits, that wasn't considered. Except if external people (ie our parents) wanted justification, then it was all "regulates breathing and diurnal rhythm" and stuff. It was more "I'm dropping off to sleep holding DS in the night, blow it, let's just co-sleep properly and I'll be more rested."
we have so-slept on and off over the last couple of years. Mainly DS has slept in his own room but for the last few months he wont sleep through unless he is co sleeping, so it usually ends up with DH in DS bed and DS in bed with me. DH hates co sleeping so it makes senswe for him to go and sleep by himself. DH hates not sleeping with me though and would rather DS slept in his own room, but we perfer a good nights sleep so we usually end up cosleeping at some point during the night. I LOVE having DS in bed beside me, its the most beautiful thing in the world and as he is my only child i want to make the most of this time that he wants to e close to me, cause all too soon he wont want anything to do with me!
I'm a big fan of co-sleeping...so is DH because everything is more peaceful. We have a queen sized bed and maybe because DH and I aren't big people there was just enough room for all of us. I would love a king sized bed though... infact our next bed will be a king... I'm already buying king sized sheets in readiness. If our babies were going through tricky periods then we'd often roll a futon out in our bedroom and I'd sleep down there with the baby while DH remained in our bed. When baby finally settled I'd slip back up into our bed, leaving the baby on the futon. That worked REALLY well.
My DH chooses not to sleep in the bed, though admittedly it's much more comfy if he doesn't. I get more sleep co sleeping and so does DH which results in a happier mummy, and there fore a happier everyone! DH sleeps on a mattress on the floor in our room, or in DD's room on her big bed (she's still in her cot) or sometimes on the lounge. As for sex, we just find alternatives. It doesn't have to happen in bed all the time. It rarely does for us if ever now!!
Whenever we co-sleep we're all in the bed. There is no way either DH or I would leave the bed. Neither of us sleep well without the other there and while I have to admit that when he gets up to do the early shift with one of the girls and I get a couple of hours of bed to myself (except for the cat) its lovely to sprawl, but a couple of hours is the absolute limit.
Thank you so much for all your replies, and sharing your stories.
Although, you might co-sleep in different ways, i can see that the ways you have developed work for you, and we will find the way that works for us.
I wasn't worried so much about the sex side of it, but similar to LuluHB i just love the staying in the same bed, knowing he is there, and cuddles and touches. I have a shift working partner, like many others (there are heaps of us), and although sometimes it is nice to starfish, we both sleep better when we are both there.
Kate you might not find this, but i found the first few weeks after DD was born i actually welcomed the fact that XP had left the bed and i was having less cuddles and touches.
That sounds really off i know, and some of it WILL have been down to our relationship being so rocky, but i went from when i was pregnant having my own body i could share when i wanted, to BFing a newborn which was sometimes BFing for 60 our of every 120mins round the clock. I was over-touched. I felt like i NEVER had my own physical space - I just wanted some space when i could have it. Now i know some of it was my relationship because XP acted jealous of DD and demanded physicality (not sex) at inapproriate moments (like no, i do not want to lie and cuddle with you while DD screams next to me and milk for her is jetting out of my breasts!). BUt i'm sure some of it is just because the physical reliance of the baby on one can be overwhelming until one gets used to it (i felt much better by 3 or 4 months when the feeds had settled into a 3-4hour pattern).
You might not find you feel this at ALL, but i thought a heads up, so you don't feel as i did that there must be something wrong with you, might help
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