constant night waking at 6 months

[Tilda]

I thought there was a forum on sleep but can't seem to find it so sorry if this should be somewhere else. I'm about at my wits end and need some advice. My six month old DD has been waking every 30 minutes - 2 hours every night for the past 2 weeks. Last night was probably the worst and I actually felt on the verge of a panic attack at 2am. Its awful seeing her struggle with sleep so much. I feel like I'm failing her and can't bear it. I rang tresilian yesterday and was basically told I"m doing everything wrong. They said I"m confusing her because I wrap her during the day, sleeping bag at night and bring her into my bed when all else fails. Not to mention feeding her to sleep. I expected this feedback but I just hate the thought of doing any type of controlled crying or comforting. I've tried doing some of the obvious "no-cry" solution techniques like using predictable routines and introducing a comforter. But I haven't tried weaning her off the feed to sleep habit. When ever I try (like last night) its an unmitigated disaster. Her day sleeps have actually improved again and she slept for 2 hours yesterday morning (wrapped). Maybe I should wrap her at night but at 6 months I thought I should be moving over to the bag both day and night. Has anyone had any success with no-cry solutions or is controlled comforting really my only option? Help?

[Arimeh]

Is she teething at all? DD2 is the same age as yours, and is having bigger sleep issues now because she is in pain from teething.

And FWIW - I don't think you are doing anything wrong or failing her.

[Tilda]

Thanks Arimeh's Eden! I've wondered about the teething but she doesn't seem to be in pain or uncomfortable just wakeful. She's just woken up from her first nap for the day, only 40 minutes!!

[lyra stardust]

You poor thing, sleep deprivation is the worst. Not sure if this is helpful to you or not, as my situation was slightly different, but my bub got addicted to sucking himself to sleep on the dummy. At about 5 months he was waking every 40 minutes between 2 and 6 to have it put back in so we decided to get rid of it. This is quite similar to the feed to sleep association I think, cos they wake up and want the same aid to get back to sleep again. I read The no-cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley and used some of the techniques in there to wean him off it- but essentially just stopped using it to settle him to sleep and used every other method- rocking, singing, patting etc. There was definitely lots of crying so this is not a no cry solution, but I was with him the whole time helping him through it- which IMO is very different to closing the door and letting him cry on his own. We had a couple of very difficult settles but it was not nearly as bad as I expected and within 3 days he had forgotten about it and was self-settling, Since then we have had a few ups and downs with sleeping but he has just got better and better at self-settling. Could you stop feeding to sleep but start rocking, and then gradually go to putting in cot and patting, and then just putting in cot? That's basically what we did- small changes so he gets used to it slowly. I think this is a more gentle way to do it (although there is bound to be some protesting) From my understanding these sleep centres are supposed to respect your wishes so if you want help without CIO then maybe they can still make suggestions?? Not sure though. If you google Elizabeth Pantley and "Pantley pull off" then there is quite a lot of info on the net.
Good luck, I really hope things improve for you.

[sloane]

hi tilda, big to you. i have to admit that my almost 1 year old is still waking every 1-2 hours overnight but i have chosen to avoid the CIO or CC because i can't handle it & i don't think my DS is suited to it either so i understand where you're coming from.

imo (and this based on my v. limited exp so far!), that if you prefer to use gentle methods, then trying to break something like the feeding to sleep association can be really tough until your baby is ready. i tried occasionally with my DS but he just didn't seem ready until very recently & then within a few days had stopped feeding to sleep & lets me put him down awake & then i pat him or the mattress until he is almost asleep. that said, the pantley pull off method does seem to be a good one & pinky mckay also offers some gentle ways to break the association.

i wonder what would happen if you used the sleeping bag day & night?

i have to say as well though, that sleep went a bit all over the place here (yeah, i know - even worse than his normal 1-2hrly wake ups!) between 6-7 months & then he did settle a bit once he started crawling just after the 7mo mark, so maybe your DD is going through some developmental changes?

sorry not much help but you're definitely not failing your DD at all

[Tilda]

Thanks for your replies girls!!
Lyra Stardust - that is soooooo good to hear you were able to break the suck to sleep association so quickly!! Maybe I should give it a go with Elizabeth Pantley's method. I'm finding it a bit of a psychological barrier because I'm worried about making things worse. But I guess they can't get worse! I was pretty firm about not giving her a dummy but all that's happened is I've become the dummy LOL!
Sloane - it really is tough if they're not ready. It seems if they want it they want it. And I think you're right I think something happens around 6 months developmentally where their sleep cycles change a bit or something.

[onthefly]

Tilda - You're NOT doing every thing wrong! Man, I hate it so much with so-called experts make mums feel that way. What do they know? They've never even met your baby!

Anyway, sorry.
My DS was the same at that age. It's a developmental thing. The BEST thing to do is probably exactly what you're doing - ie, whatever works best to get you and your baby the maximum possible rest. One other thing you could consider is bringing your baby to bed earlier. It won't make things worse. Sometimes babies just need that constant reassurance and the best thign to do is to give it to them. it does not set them up with life-long sleep 'problems' or bad habits or anythign like that. I co-slept msot of the time between 8-18 months out of sheer necessity. I only wish I'd started sooner rather than doing the up-down thing all night long. With DS antying going on developmentally or physically (illness or teething for eg) will upset his sleep and leave him needing mum or dad for comfort. It's just the way he is and nothing can change that.

DS is in his own bed now. He sleeps there just fine most of the time. yeah, he still wakes some nights. And if he's sick he ends up in bed with me. It's no big deal. It won't ruin him, it's just what he needs. Some kids don't need that. It's ok. You've just got to do whatever your child needs you to do.

All the best for getting some rest

[Jennifer13]

Tilda - I've moved your thread to the no cry sleeping solutions area, since it sounds like you specifically want advice in that vein.

[Jennifer13]

And for my 2c... I wrapped my DD to sleep until she was about 8/9 mths old. She bf to sleep, well, at night until she was almost two and for naps until almost 18 mths. It had no detrimental affect on her sleep, generally her need for comfort from me at other times was for other reasons (developmental changes, I started working more, a virus, and so on). You can't do anything 'wrong' to help her to sleep.

You don't need to resort to controlled crying, sorry, I mean, 'comforting', to help your LO to sleep. If you find she sleeps better wrapped, then keep wrapping her. There's no 'should' on using bags, it's just about what works for you and your baby. Babies feed to sleep for a long time and you aren't setting yourself up for disaster by continuing. You're just being smart and not making life difficult for yourself now. One day she'll decide she much prefers a good read with a book before bed, instead of a bf. And then you'll bemoan the loss of such an easy way to get her to sleep - you can only read the same book so many times before you're sick of it!

If you're relaxed and doing what you know works best, you'll have a better time of helping her settle too.

[onthefly]

One day she'll decide she much prefers a good read with a book before bed, instead of a bf. And then you'll bemoan the loss of such an easy way to get her to sleep - you can only read the same book so many times before you're sick of it!

Oh, this is so, so true!

[Tilda]

Thanks for moving my post into the comforted sleeping forum Jennifer. Its hard to imagine the day when she doesn't want to BF to sleep! But it's got to come I guess. Can't see myself doing it at 21 LOL!

Marcellus, thanks for your suggestion to bring her into bed earlier. I tried it last night and brought her into bed at about 12:30 am when she looked like she was going to get unsettled and it seemed to help. It meant we didn't get a really unsettled period between 3 and 4 again. She still woke up for a feed at 3:30 but went straight down again. I didn't sleep much better because I kept waiting for her to wake! But one step at a time hey!

It's really hard to stay confident with these things. I keep hearing all "the experts" telling me I'm not stepping up to the plate. But it was interesting, yesterday I saw my aunt who I thought would be a controlled crying advocate (she used it for her first about 16 years ago) but she actually said she'd be reluctant because DD is really unusual because she hardly cries and it would be a shame to do it to her. Well I'll bring her in earlier again tonight and see if we get any more improvements. But she actually woke up very grizzly today which makes me wonder if teeth are finally on the way.....

Thanks again for your support.

[onthefly]

Ah good - sounds like she's a bit happier that way. They chop and change so quickly, you just have to go with whatever works at the time, kwim?
You're doing very well - try to trust yourself as the best expert for your girl.

[Jennifer13]

Glad to hear DD had a better night, now for you to try to relax and enjoy some more sleep too! It's amazing that those with grown children too change their minds sometimes when they see a new small baby. My Mum was a definite CC advocate, but for my DD she would have been horrified if I said I left her to cry herself to sleep! She no longer has to listen to 'the experts' and instead is listening to her heart when it came to her only grandchild, which is exactly what I did.