hi rach,
i had a very similar problem with my girl hollie, who is a lot younger, so it worried me immensely that a little newborn was not sleeping during the day and going hours and hours without a nap. She would only sleep in my arms and if i put her down she would awake soon after. She did however sleep brilliantly at night, from roughly 11pm to 5am which was pretty impressive for a bf newborn baby. It then deteriorated to her waking in the night after a few hours sleep and me having to hold her on the couch for the duration of the night. I was pulling my hair out with exhaustion. I booked in to a day stay program on the advice of my MCHN, I cannot explain the progress we have made in the space of a week. She now has naps during the day, ranging from 45 minutes, up to over 3 hours. It is truely amazing. I am no longer a nervous wreck as I put her in her cot for the night, scared that she will wake up. She gets put down awake, we put her dummy in, stroke her face, and then walk out. She then sleeps. This is mostly the same for during the day, although sometimes it takes a bit more work depending on how stubborn she is feeling.

Are there any day stay programs near you? Ask your MCHN. For every baby it is different, so they spend time with the baby and working out what settles them best which depends on their personality. They tried a lot of things with hollie to settle her that really didnt work, so in the end we realised that she needed minimal attention, to be put in her cot, let her cry for a few minutes, go in and replace dummy, cry for a few minutes etc, then after a while she would go to sleep. We now only do this for about 5 minutes and she is usually asleep.

My MCHN told me the ways the day stay staff would try to settle her, and I tried it on my own prior to booking in and it just didnt work. I found that I really benefitted from being there and having them try lots of different methods with hollie to ascertain what worked for her the best. It really has saved my sanity as I was becoming quite depressed and extremely anxious, people have commented on how much more relaxed I am. Sometimes it just helps to have a strategy in place and to be trying it, at least you have a plan of attack.

There were lots of mums there with babies of different ages, and toddlers too. One mum was there with her second child, she said it worked wonders for her first and she was back to get some help with her second.

Anyways I've rambled enough, I just can't explain how beneficial it was to have an 'expert' (the midwife had worked in the day stay program for 11 years) give advice and 'assess' hollie. I honestly think if it could work on hollie it could work on any baby - they said they hadn't come across a baby so defiant and determined not to sleep, in 11 years thats pretty amazing.

She is now sound asleep in her cot as I type this.