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Thread: DD 2 and sleep issues

  1. #1

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    Default DD 2 and sleep issues

    OK..I'm praying someone is going to have an answer to this because...if I can't fix it, I'm sure I will leave DH.

    Eliza always been a goodish sleeper, she can work herself into a vomiting episode which has always frightened me and I prefer to do the settle and fall asleep peacefully rather than let her scream till she vomits. A few weeks ago this all started due to spending the night away with BIL and SIL we took a portacot and thought we wouldnt have issues but we did and as there house is newly renovated it was easier just to say goodnight to everyone and she fell asleep with me. I love co sleeping always have - DH hates it should I say detests it ( Yes we are chalk and cheese)
    Our nightly routine consists of a dinner play maybe a walk on the bike if weather permits then a bath, dressed in her room story and then dare I say a bottle and bed.
    The heating is on and its toasty the lights are dim and soft music is playing.
    Recently she climbs off the change table after she is dressed and lays on our bed and pretends to snore. If I try to carry her back she screams and flips out completely.
    So most nights I have to go to sleep at 7,30 with her if I move she waked up if I try to move her back to her bed she wakes up. If I put her in her bedroom she screams till she vomits. I'm working full time DH is working FT and I dread going home at night knowing what is going to happen.
    Daytime sleeps no issues, goes to sleep waves goodnight and blows me a kiss...but the difference between day and night is unbeleviable ...most people cannot believe it as they only see how well she is during the day.
    Any ideas
    Kicking DH out is the only one I have but I'm sure it will be too expensive
    Bec



    My first plan is to buy a doona with the "crappiest kiddies design" that she will love and hope that is a step in the right area

  2. #2

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    Giving up....
    Going to sleep school

  3. #3

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    Bec I hear you. We have the same sorts of dramas with Sammy who used to be able to fall asleep while i was feeding him but now he doesnt grrrr! Fortunately Darren is often able to cuddle him to sleep..have you tried that with miss Eliza?? Im sorry I dont have anything more to suggest..weve had continuous sleep issues with Sammy so still trying to work through it..know though..that you arent alone!!!!!!!

    Jo

  4. #4

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    Last night ended up with tears all around..DH gave in in the end when she screamed solidly for 2 hrs and that was just to get her somewhere near the bed. She is petrified.
    I was told to sleep on the couch with her....so we did. And you cant even begin to believe how much I detest DH at the moment. Its amazing how a thing like sleep can make little fractures turn into severe breaks...Any way thanks Jo...I know I'm not alone, it would be nice to have a supportive husband instead of harping about it all being my fault
    Bec

  5. #5

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    Hugs Bec. What a rough trot you are having. GGRRR to your DH!

    Have you tried lying down with Eliza in her bed? Would she go for that?

    I also like the linen idea. When we moved Jack into a bed (and in a new room too) he picked out his own linen (wiggles and Thomas the Tank Engine) and picked out his own stickers for the walls (Thomas again). This really helped with the transition.

    Another thing that helped when Jack moved rooms was to put his toys in the new room and let him play in there for a couple of days first, before he slept in there. Then, by the time we asked him if he wanted to go to sleep in there, he said yes as he was comfortable with the room. We also did his sleep time routine in there for those couple of days too.

    Otherwise I guess there is sleep school, but if they do cc, you might find that doesn't suit your parenting style. On the co-sleeping thing, is there anyway DH will change his mind?

    I'm not sure what else to suggest but I wish you Good Luck. I hope you don't end up on the couch again.

  6. #6

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    Have you tried putting a chair in her room so you can sit there uptil she goes to sleep?

    Put her in her cot and sit until she goes to sleep, the next night move the chair closer to the door until eventually you are outside the door.

    I know there is more to this solution, but I can't think of it. but that is basically how it goes... just can't remmeber what you are supposed to do int he middle of the night? Maybe continue the steps. sit in the chair until they fall asleep etc.

    Anyone else?

    Tanya

  7. #7

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    Bec G - I completely sympathise with you! My DS became dependant on sleeping in a hammock for a long time, he would scream for hours on end if we put him in his cot and it would never improve. I was an emotional wreck. Eventually I decided to buy a toddler bed (when he was nearly two), and we made a big deal about it and pretended to sleep in it during the day for fun. Finally I put him in his bed for the first time at night and he was very upset, I told him I would lie down next to him (this is why I bought the bed because I thought it would help if I could lie down with him), he became very calm knowing I was there. After a while I moved to sitting on the floor and slowly inched my way out of the room. He slept the whole night in there and when he woke up I made a huge deal about what a big boy he was, etc... He thought it was wonderful and I never had to stay in there with him again! It was an absolute miracle for us.

    Does your DD still sleep in a cot or has she graduated to a bed? I think my DH hated the cot because he felt trapped and unable to get to us. Once he was in a bed I think he felt safer, though he never gets out of bed until we tell him he can (I think it's just psycolgical).

    You could also try what Tanya above said, I did try that method when he was in a cot(thanks Super Nanny!), but it didn't work at all. It does work for others though so may be worth a shot? I hope you find a solution soon!

  8. #8

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    Thanks girls,
    Tanya: Eliza wont even go near the cot or bed they are both in there at night time but as I said she is fast asleep atm, in the bed daytime is no problem. I have a recliner in her room always have but she stands and screams blue murder for hours on end.
    Trish: I think she hates the cot for that reason so we have tried to transition her into her bed but it is a toddler bed

    So after having a meeting with my MCHN we have a plan for next week when I have some time off work.
    Lots of purchases including a single bed that maybe I can sleep in her room and get out off rather than trying to move her and a little gate that wont make her feel locked in yet she cannot get into our bed and stay. I dont mind going to her.I must say my MCHN was very supportive in whtaever way I did want to go co-sleeping or not the only problem was that DH wasnt so supportive soo once again tonight there will be 3 in the bed
    Bec

  9. #9

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    Well it has been 3 nights so far that DD has slept in her room..the MCHN did mention to me that she knew her routine inside and out and therefore was quite often predicting what was going to happen next for her. So I dressed her in our living area and DH stepped up and took over bedtime duties and we have had blissful nights sleep since. I think she knows that I am soft and DH means business. So as much as it kills me to say that he did a good job..HE DID and now life is alot better
    Bec

  10. #10

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    Yay Bec!! And well done Eliza!! I hope it continues

    Tanya

  11. #11

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    bec, regardless of who did the better job, the important thing is that you worked together, as a couple and as a family. I hope DD slept soundly, and you too.

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