well we've had some success.. i still have to stay with her but it isnt taking as long for her to fall asleep. we did alter her routine a bit.
firstly ive stopped the pre bed feed, instead she gets to pick 4-5 books and one of us reads them to ther in bed, which she loves. im still the one who has to stand by her door til shes asleep as she wont let daddy (though if im not home daddy's fine and infact she fall asleep for him in record time )
we also started to tell her id stay if she was quiet and not messing around, if she did id leave, if i leave its for only 30 secs or so then i go back. its worked and we're down to about 20 of standingat door as opposed to 40+ mins up to 90 mins!!