When i was very little (under 5) we did bathtime, with lots of singing, then bedtime with a few stories read to us, and then storytapes to fall asleep to (i found it hard to fall asleep, still do, can't find the "off" button for my brain...). When i got older i would read to myself but mum and/or dad would still stick their head in every night and kiss me goodnight. I was always allowed into my parents bed. I last co-slept with mum when i was 24, the year before she died, it was just a nap, and she was in bed a lot then due to her illness. Before that i was probably in my late teens. When i was a little kid i'd go in a lot. If i was scared i stayed all night, if i was just awake mum would let me stay a while and then take me back to my own bed and lay with me a while until i drifted off again or seemed ready to.

I would always go in if i had a nightmare, i would always get in Mum's side - i can remember doing that in Perth after a nightmare so i was at LEAST 10. Mum used to spoon me and i'd drift off wrapped up in her - i LOVE doing this to my DD now, so it's definitely a positive thing for both of us .

Mum and dad never had a co-sleeping "policy" - we all had our own beds and were encouraged to sleep in them, but equally we were never made unwelcome when we went in to them. I think, looking back, mum knew i was her last baby before i was even born and she was determined to hang all the "advice" and just enjoy me. Ironically i definitely had a better relationship with her than my older more formulaically-raised siblings.

Bx