If it is any consolation, Olivia is 2.5 and my DH is STILL reticent to put her to bed, becasue she doesn't settle as well for him.

Do you use any other sleepy time cues? Like music? Or a special sleeping bag, or a soft toy? I was just thinking that the reason my SIL can settle Charlie so well is because she does exactly what I do.....same music (Peacebaby) same sleeping bag, same grotty chewed plush doggy........you get the picture......so by association they know what comes next, rather than wearing themselves into a frazzle?

It is nerve wracking though........you have my sympathy.......