I am not sure if I am putting this in the right spot, so please move it if needed.

I really need some help, I am feeling like a horrible mother at the moment. Here is our story:

I have been following a certain baby 'experts' advice and to this persons credit I now have a 7 month old that is a wonderful sleeper. 12.5 hrs over night and 2, 2 hour sleeps a day, and I guess you are all reading this and saying whats your problem? You are so lucky! But it has recently come to my attention that I have done the wrong thing, that I have molded my baby into a certain routine and not necessarily doing what is best for my baby and to be quiet honest I am sick of the routine I am sick of clock watching I am sick of over analyzing when something has gone wrong. I want to stop using a routine but I don't know how, I have tried not sticking to it and the day has ended in disaster, clearly I don't know how to follow my babies cue's.

I guess I am asking how to I just become a relaxed mum? A Mum that doesn't have to be stuck at home all the time in fear that I will stuff up the routine? How do I fit in 4 milk feeds a day if I don't wake my baby at a certain time in the day?

Please, please help me find some normality back into my life!