So I've been eating cake the last couple of days! LOL and Ce's suggestion of heating her bed up is BRILLIANT! OMG such a difference (we live in currently chilly Canberra).
I love your approaches and I'm taking bits from all of you. Yesterday was a trying day but I'm feeling more confident that I can 'help' settle DD or at least as Lenny points out settle myself.

I've actually changed our feeding routine slightly when possible and I've managed to kind of feed to a doze then rock her to sleep and settle her a little more in her bed once I put her down. At least that is this week's solution.

She has always hated swaddling so we got her the Wrap Me Ups which she still didn't like much but could still get her hands in her mouth. With the harness she can't fit them anymore so we purchased Sleepy Wings which she also doesn't like but they really help her to sleep. They also seem to distract her from the harness which is good as we can take off the Wings but not the harness.

Going to buy her an ipod this week and download all the Music for Dreaming. Such wonderful ideas and confidence you have all given me.

Oh and DH and I talked about tired signs as I think we interpret her activities differently, ie jerky physical movement doesn't equal I want to play now daddy