Santosha, just remember that your dd is an individual and what works for others may not work for your bub. she sounds a lot like my ds2. he is a bit of a sensitive soul, and every attempt to get him to self settle has not worked. we are just plugging along doing what we know works the best for him, which is usually a breastfeed and rock until he is dead asleep, then i put him down in bed.
i guess the difference is that i have gone through this before (with ds1) so i know that it all works out in the end- some of them just take longer than others iykwim? ds1 really is a great sleeper now, but i have to tell you that he didn't sleep through until 14 months old and i don't think he really started self settling till about 18 months or so?
just hang in there, and most importantly don't 'do your head in' over it and start comparing your baby to others, as i have found that this simply gets you nowhere except way more frustrated!
i tried a few things out of the NCSS, but tbh none of it really worked on my boys. i do think it's a good book though and has some good ideas in it.
i promise you, your dd will get there in the end..but by the sounds of the other night i think she may not be ready yet and it may be the best thing to just give her a little more time.