I am at a total loss

[Nadine216]

I don't even know where to start

DD has never really been a great sleeper. But about a month or two back, she started sleeping through about 4 out of 7 nights and the rest I got up once or twice to put her dummy back in or to give her a sip of milk. For the last two weeks it's been UTTER HELL. She is waking up 6 to 7 times at night, between 23:00 and 6:00 She does not want to go to sleep, she just keeps moaning and moaning.

I used to put her in bed around 7pm, give her her bottle, say goodnight and walked out of the room. I would go back 10 minutes later to take the bottle out of the cot and to make sure she is all tucked in nice and warm. She would be FAAAR away in dreamland by then. Then she will wake up maybe twice a night for a sip of milk and go back to sleep imediatly.

Lately I'm putting her to bed earlier, because she looks and acts tired. But as soon as I place her in her cot, she arch her back and starts crying. Not the teary kind of cry, but the heartbreaking moaning. I then have to get her out of the cot, and lay down on the bed next to her to get her to fall asleep. If I place her back in the cot, she is fine.

Last night we had 40 minutes of utter chaos. She crying, me crying, DH trying to keep sane between two blubbering women. He had a bad day and were moody from the get go. I'm so proud that he kept his cool all the while trying to get dd to sleep. He forbade me to lay down next to her to get her to sleep, told me that she is just rooting for attention (in a sense I agree with him). EVENTUALLY HE laid down on the bed with her and got her to sleep in 5 minutes.

I've tried all I know. It's not teeth, it's not heartburn/reflux, she does not have fever, it's not heat, it's not cold, it's not pain (tried three differnt painkillers) it's not a strange room. I had her at a physio to get her lungs cleaned out .. I've tried vicks on her back.

I just feel like such a LOSER for not getting my daughter

I'm taking her to the dr (again) as a last resort this afternoon. Just to have her ears checked (she does not pull away when I press around her ears) and to make sure there is not some underlying thing that I'm missing.

I'm pregnant with my second child and I'm not even have my first one "under control" , kwim!!! HOW THE HECK am I suppose to cope. I know I probably will, but I'm going to be such a wreck, not that I'm not that now.

It's just a bad day, right?? Tomorrow will be better, right? I'm stressing over little things, right??? It's just the hormones talking, right?????????

This turned out long .. thanks for reading. I'm going to drown myself in chocolate now

[StrawberryMumma]

Oh hunny, things WILL definitely get better. Having such broken sleep is like torture isn't it. Esp when you're pregnant too.
I'm not much good for sleeping tips..except do you think maybe getting rid of the dummy might help?- not immediately I know! but maybe it will help down the track a bit?..Sorry not much help, except that it won't last and just try and hang in there :hugs:

I'll keep thinking..

[suse]

Oh hon and one more for good luck . And a whole block of chocolate.

I don't have an answer for you, but just wanted to let you know that you are NOT a loser. Babies aren't meant to be easy to figure out. Hell, adults aren't easy to figure out, and we can talk! You're a fantastic mum, it's just hard to remember that when you are exhausted and your little one is distressed.

And yes, it's just a bad day, that sounds like it has turned into a bad couple of weeks. But you're not stressing for no reason, the reason may not end up being something serious, but until you work out what it is that's bothering her so much, of course you'll stress. You're a mum, that's what we do. Doesn't make it any easier to bear at the time, but remember, this too will pass.

[~Saram~]

First thing you need to do is give yourself a break! As Suse said, this is just a phase and it will pass. It has nothing to do with your parenting, every family goes through a stage like this. right now I'm typing one handed as I'm nursing our 18mth old who has woken up 6-7 times since I put her down at 8pm!

DD is a shocking sleeper and we had her at the dr due to her freq night wakingings at 6mths and were told to sedate her (which we obviously didn't - despite probably wanting to) We go to a chiropractor regularly which helps her settle and we are now doing the elimination diet (book by Sue dengate try fed up dot com) We had a bad weekend and beginning week and fell off the diet wagon which is why I'm paying for the consequences tonight but other than that it has been a godsend.

Have you changed anything recently, washing liquid, food, nap times, routines, switched brands of anything? I remember my DS was unsettled for weeks and we tracked it down to changing washing powder??? Who knows it might be a developmental milestone or it might be that she is trying to change her sleep routine dropping naps or changing bedtimes???

Have you read the book by Elizabeth pantly (The No Cry Sleep Solution), it's great! I'm looking forward to getting the toddler edition from the lib when it's available, it's full of gentle settling ideas.

All the best and remember when you are waking the halls in the middle of the night there's a hole bunch of us out there doing exactly the same thing!

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

DS has been grumpy this last week and sleeping has gone downhill - could it be a wonderweek sort of thing?

[Nadine216]

Lee - the only thing that keeps me sane atm is that darn dummy ... she can ask for it when she wants it. And she only gets it at sleep time. At day-dare I don't know, but at home .. the dummy is only for sleeptime.

Suse - Thanks (especially for the chocolate) .. she has not been easy to figure out since birth Just think I deserve a break from figuring her out. But you are right .. I'm a mom, so after spilling my guts on here, I'm just going to go home and be A MOM.

My dad just phoned told me: With kids you can be dead sure of one thing - you will never run out of not having ideas He is just trying to help, he is such a sweetheart

[Nadine216]

Oh hell, Saram that put a smile on my face .. knowing that walking the halls alone at night, I'm not really alone.

If got her off formula just last week, but this has been a problem since before. I am currently dropping my washing off at a laundromat (no kitchen, being renovated) it could be that!! She has one 1 1/2 hour sleep during the midday .. on her own "request" at day-care, could be that I'm putting her to bed to early You gave me some good tips to go on. I'm getting my washing machine back in my kitchen HOPEFULLY this weekend, HOPEFULLY. That will take care of that.

Rosehip - what else can I say??

[Jaapie]

Hi Nadine. No real words of wisdom. Know that you're not alone . . . there are so many of us struggling to hold it together while our 'babies' don't sleep. You will feel so good when you get through this and have still been gentle with your little one.

What I wanted to say is that Kai was an absolute nightmare sleepwise for the last 2 months of our pregnancy (he has always been shocking, but this was stepping up to a new level) and I was freaking out about how we would cope with getting up 7 times a night PLUS a newborn. And the 3 nights before Jade was born he was unbelievably bad. But, just about from the day we got back from hospital, his sleep improved. He still woke up but not nearly as often and was really easy to settle again. I personally believe that they know something major is going on and it makes them very insecure. (he was also very clingy during the day). Once she arrived it was like he felt " oh, is THIS what's going on. That's not so bad!"

So, I can't really help you get your little one to sleep better, but wanted to say that perhaps it won't be as bad as you are imagining once your new bub arrives.

Good luck!

[Nadine216]

Thanks Jaapie I hope this is the case too. That is exactly my 2am worry. How will I be coping with a newborn and her waking up like this. If he is ANYTHING like his sister, it would be NO SLEEP for us for 5 months with the both of them. And yes, she is a bit clingy .. more to DH atm, but next week it would probably be my turn.

Well, the dr could find nothing wrong with her. Her ears, throat and lungs are clean. He said it might be hayfever (DH and I both suffer the dreadfull sneeze) so he prescribed some medication for that. TBH, I don't think it's working ... yet. Friday night she went to bed better, but I kept her up later than usual ... had her really tired and almost asleep on DH's lap before I put her down. She still woke about 6 times, but were easily settled. Saturday was more of the same. Sunday she went down with a "struggle" She sat up in her cot, singing for an hour!!! and then started crying saying: "ouch, ouch, ouch" So I picked her up and she brought up one really big wind and some milk ... I gave her some Gaviscon and put her down. Not 2 minutes later again crying with the "ouch, ouch" and her little fingers in her mouth. I applied some teething cream and got her settled in about 15 minutes of patting and shhhh'ing. And then she only woke two times last night!! woo hoo!! So all in all .. it did go a bit better. New problem .. I woke up with an itchy throat and I feel like I'm coming down with the flu .. again When it rains, it pours!!

So now I'm not sure if she is teething again. I can't see any swelling, but it could be possible, right??