I am at a total loss

[suse]

Oh hon and one more for good luck . And a whole block of chocolate.

I don't have an answer for you, but just wanted to let you know that you are NOT a loser. Babies aren't meant to be easy to figure out. Hell, adults aren't easy to figure out, and we can talk! You're a fantastic mum, it's just hard to remember that when you are exhausted and your little one is distressed.

And yes, it's just a bad day, that sounds like it has turned into a bad couple of weeks. But you're not stressing for no reason, the reason may not end up being something serious, but until you work out what it is that's bothering her so much, of course you'll stress. You're a mum, that's what we do. Doesn't make it any easier to bear at the time, but remember, this too will pass.

[~Saram~]

First thing you need to do is give yourself a break! As Suse said, this is just a phase and it will pass. It has nothing to do with your parenting, every family goes through a stage like this. right now I'm typing one handed as I'm nursing our 18mth old who has woken up 6-7 times since I put her down at 8pm!

DD is a shocking sleeper and we had her at the dr due to her freq night wakingings at 6mths and were told to sedate her (which we obviously didn't - despite probably wanting to) We go to a chiropractor regularly which helps her settle and we are now doing the elimination diet (book by Sue dengate try fed up dot com) We had a bad weekend and beginning week and fell off the diet wagon which is why I'm paying for the consequences tonight but other than that it has been a godsend.

Have you changed anything recently, washing liquid, food, nap times, routines, switched brands of anything? I remember my DS was unsettled for weeks and we tracked it down to changing washing powder??? Who knows it might be a developmental milestone or it might be that she is trying to change her sleep routine dropping naps or changing bedtimes???

Have you read the book by Elizabeth pantly (The No Cry Sleep Solution), it's great! I'm looking forward to getting the toddler edition from the lib when it's available, it's full of gentle settling ideas.

All the best and remember when you are waking the halls in the middle of the night there's a hole bunch of us out there doing exactly the same thing!

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

DS has been grumpy this last week and sleeping has gone downhill - could it be a wonderweek sort of thing?

[Nadine216]

Lee - the only thing that keeps me sane atm is that darn dummy ... she can ask for it when she wants it. And she only gets it at sleep time. At day-dare I don't know, but at home .. the dummy is only for sleeptime.

Suse - Thanks (especially for the chocolate) .. she has not been easy to figure out since birth Just think I deserve a break from figuring her out. But you are right .. I'm a mom, so after spilling my guts on here, I'm just going to go home and be A MOM.

My dad just phoned told me: With kids you can be dead sure of one thing - you will never run out of not having ideas He is just trying to help, he is such a sweetheart

[Nadine216]

Oh hell, Saram that put a smile on my face .. knowing that walking the halls alone at night, I'm not really alone.

If got her off formula just last week, but this has been a problem since before. I am currently dropping my washing off at a laundromat (no kitchen, being renovated) it could be that!! She has one 1 1/2 hour sleep during the midday .. on her own "request" at day-care, could be that I'm putting her to bed to early You gave me some good tips to go on. I'm getting my washing machine back in my kitchen HOPEFULLY this weekend, HOPEFULLY. That will take care of that.

Rosehip - what else can I say??

[Jaapie]

Hi Nadine. No real words of wisdom. Know that you're not alone . . . there are so many of us struggling to hold it together while our 'babies' don't sleep. You will feel so good when you get through this and have still been gentle with your little one.

What I wanted to say is that Kai was an absolute nightmare sleepwise for the last 2 months of our pregnancy (he has always been shocking, but this was stepping up to a new level) and I was freaking out about how we would cope with getting up 7 times a night PLUS a newborn. And the 3 nights before Jade was born he was unbelievably bad. But, just about from the day we got back from hospital, his sleep improved. He still woke up but not nearly as often and was really easy to settle again. I personally believe that they know something major is going on and it makes them very insecure. (he was also very clingy during the day). Once she arrived it was like he felt " oh, is THIS what's going on. That's not so bad!"

So, I can't really help you get your little one to sleep better, but wanted to say that perhaps it won't be as bad as you are imagining once your new bub arrives.

Good luck!

[Nadine216]

Thanks Jaapie I hope this is the case too. That is exactly my 2am worry. How will I be coping with a newborn and her waking up like this. If he is ANYTHING like his sister, it would be NO SLEEP for us for 5 months with the both of them. And yes, she is a bit clingy .. more to DH atm, but next week it would probably be my turn.

Well, the dr could find nothing wrong with her. Her ears, throat and lungs are clean. He said it might be hayfever (DH and I both suffer the dreadfull sneeze) so he prescribed some medication for that. TBH, I don't think it's working ... yet. Friday night she went to bed better, but I kept her up later than usual ... had her really tired and almost asleep on DH's lap before I put her down. She still woke about 6 times, but were easily settled. Saturday was more of the same. Sunday she went down with a "struggle" She sat up in her cot, singing for an hour!!! and then started crying saying: "ouch, ouch, ouch" So I picked her up and she brought up one really big wind and some milk ... I gave her some Gaviscon and put her down. Not 2 minutes later again crying with the "ouch, ouch" and her little fingers in her mouth. I applied some teething cream and got her settled in about 15 minutes of patting and shhhh'ing. And then she only woke two times last night!! woo hoo!! So all in all .. it did go a bit better. New problem .. I woke up with an itchy throat and I feel like I'm coming down with the flu .. again When it rains, it pours!!

So now I'm not sure if she is teething again. I can't see any swelling, but it could be possible, right??

[BekZ]

Firstly hugs. Sounds like you have heaps going on atm. My first suggestion would be to trust yourself more. You know your daughter better than you think. Oh yeah and make sure you take time out for some R and R before bub comes.

Did you just change DD to milk? It some times takes weeks for bub to adjust and they can get windy and bloated. If DD still complains of a sore tummy then try taking her off milk and giving her rice milk or some thing.

With your bedtime routine I have always found that being consistent works. Keep to the same time, put her to bed and don't take her out. If she is cracking it then pick her up, give her a cuddle and put back down. If she is uncontrolalbe then I would leave the room for a minute (this is for your sanity), wait till she settles down a bit, then go back in and tell her it is time to sleep. If you are getting too stressed then let DH take over but he must do the same that you were doing. You may find that it takes a month for DD to settle on her own and bedtime to improve but she will get it. Please disregard this advice if it does not sound right for you but this is what I have done with my DD. BTW once I took the dummy away she slept through the night...but don't try this until you have the current issue sorted.


Let us know how you go

[BekZ]

I just read the end of your last post. yes it is possible that she is teething, especially if she is putting her fingers in her mouth