I need help, I need help, please!!!

[Liviam]

Leesha I would look into a sleep school and see if that helps. My DD was a nightmare sleeper (your story is bringing back some bad memories) and we went to sleep school. She was so bad that we actually failed sleep school and had to keep going back for three days in a row (ours is only a day time school). They told me it should take 3 nights before you see any improvement. Then it gets better and better each night. My DD was so stubborn it took a week to see the improvement. Now she is an amazing sleeper - sleep school was the best thing we ever did, for her and us.
Consistency is the key. Set her settling routine and stick to it every single time you settle her. You and Shel have to do exactly the same thing so Jazz knows what is happening. DH and I would try something different everytime and we were each doing something different so poor DD didn't know what was happening. Set your routine and stick to it. It is so incredibly hard in those first few days but after a week you have a beautiful sleeper and you enjoy being a mummy again.
Best of luck gorgeous. Let us know how you're going.

[Inertia]

Leasha - First and foremost - You are a wonderful mum. I know that the times like these puts the doubt into you, and sometimes it makes you think "maybe they are right". No, they aren't. They are narrow minded. Completely lacking in imagination. There is more than one solution to every question.

Sleep school sounds like it could be a great idea. With Sam, my only recourse was to make sure he wore himself out by bedtime. he was just a big bundle of energy and cutting out any thing that contributed to that energy after a certain time and ensuring he was as active as possible was the only thing that made him start to sleep normally again.

Also she is denying you the day sleeps - so your potential nap. With Haz I learnt the hard way that as wonderful and blissful as it is to have him napping and giving me me time - I would regret it horribly that night when because of his nap, he wouldnt be tired until 2am. So after a certain time, I also had to ensure they didn't take that nap. Getting a full nights blissful sleep easily trumped an hour and a half of peace and quiet.

Also I agree with the consistency. Certainly there are some times where you have to be flexible, but on routine, you have to make it as uncomplicated as possible so as not to confuse them. Harry knows full well now that if the lights are off, its bedtime and there is no compromise on that. It did take a while but now he just climbs into bed and drops off. The lack of light was important because it hid everything. There is nothing fun looking in their field of vision.

hope you can get some good sleep really soon.

Oh, and one very very important thing to remember - you can still love Jazz without liking her sleep patterns. You are entitled to that without being a monster. We don't have to love every little detail - and disliking one thing doesnt instantly translate into not loving them or not loving them enough.

[*becstar*]

Oh just hugs Leash It's SO tough. And sleep deprivation is such a cruel cycle.

Maybe the additives are a good idea to look into? What's your GP like? Maybe a visit to them (although i know it's hard to get taken seriously)? I too never moan IRL about sleep because it's always my fault that he co-sleeps and fed to sleep and is cuddled to sleep etc.

You are doing an AMAZING job. Through all this you've raised a beautiful daughter AND begun your own business, and that's nothing to sniff at!!

xxx

[MantaRay]

Leash, you are doing such an amazing job to be doing so much on so little sleep. It is so tiring when babies wake so often.

I am wondering what happens when Shel gets up to her? Can she be settled easily without a feed if it's not you that gets up? I don't know if you have given any thought to night weaning yet - it's still quite early, but you sound like you are ready to improve your night sleeps. How do you feel about this? If it's an option for you, some mums find that just going away overnight for one or two nights is enough - at that age Jazz will understand that you are not there and therefore can't feed her. She might still wake, or she might even sleep though.

Other than that, I don't think there's much else you can do - many mums find it's easier to get through when they stop stressing about not getting enough sleep - but that's easier said than done, especially after so long. I am not sure that sleep school would be a good option for you - most use some form of CIO and I can't see you being comfortable with that. If it's any consolation, many babies do start to sleep longer at around 12 months, so maybe Jazz will be one of these (fingers crossed!).

[Astrid]

Ok, coming back to this. DD1 was odd, she needs flexible consistency when she was younger. If I was very strict, she would fight it. So that meant often I would have to change the music we used at night time to help get her down. She was such a sleep fighter, it was kind I like she needed some tricking to get her sleep, so it was like sleep time, but not really. Even now with our strictness of milk, teeth, toilet, books and bed, she often wants the music changed. I do think part of it is just plain personality. DD1 is stubborn, physically active and mentally active. I think she has a lot of trouble winding down and I am the same at night. If I can't get to sleep easily, then I could not expect her to. I fight sleep myself, often as I know that I will lie there for ages tossing and turning.

One of the colourings we had an issue with was Anatto (160b), it is a natural colouring found in many dairy products and surprisingly on some oven fries. So I always had to check the labels as I could not trust the ones stating 'natural colours'

[Visitor8]

Oh Leash hun How terrible that your going through this.

Have you thought about cutting some of her day sleeps? Everytime the boys started waking a lot I would cut their day sleeps, by 1 hour.

Also try to not watch the clock. I know it's easier said than done but once you stop thinking about the sleep your missing it gets easier. Ashton was a 2 hour night feeder until the last 2 weeks when he has only JUST started sleeping through. Having a nap during the day when he went down as often as possible really helped. Maybe she is just going to be one of those babies who doesn't sleep through, there are many of them trust me.

Might sound silly but is it possible to move your room around? There might be something in the room that is making a shadow and scaring her? My friend had this, the fan was creating a shadow on the wall and her little miss would scream for hours until she was cuddled to sleep.

Hope something works and it improves soon.

[Indadhanu]

Thanks Rach and squidipa xx

Astrid... I didn't consider food additives going through my milk. Should I see a dr or dietician to get advice on an elimination diet, or could I just do it myself?

Dan, I have been hesitant about sleep school, as I know the one in Brisbane leans towards CIO techniques, which I'm just not happy with. As desperate as it gets, I just can't put her through that.
We do try to be consistant, we try to work with the NCSS techniques.

Inertia, it is hard when her day sleeps are my little slice of sanity lol, but some days I do wonder if she had no day sleeps she'd sleep better at night but it usually means she goes down to bed between 5.30 and 6, and then wakes at 8am ready for action She won't go back down until 11 or 12, sometimes she'll sleep for 5 hours afterwards, but i end up with just as little sleep being up until midnight than if she was sleeping... just hard to get that balance, its like she has no body clock or rhythm...

MR - If Shel gets up to her, Jazz will just play until she falls asleep. Sometimes Shel will try to rock her, but mostly it doesn't do much. But if I'm in bed, Jazz will eventually fall asleep. I'm so ready to night wean. Day times don't both me so much as she doesn't seem to want it so much but it seems like all she can think about as soon as the sun goes down. If i thought I could go away for a night I probably would but Shel isn't comfortable with Jazz by herself, I'm not really sure how I could wean her without not being her :-S

Fingers crossed she starts to work herself out... sometimes I worry that she really doesn't have a natural rhythm or cycle, everything is just all over the place, nothing is the same from one day to the next. People talk about babies getting themselves into routines but she doesn't have one. no amount of me trying will help her get into one. There's nothng predictable about her, except that she'll whinge ALOT.

[squidipa]

looking at the gorgeous pic of her in your ticker leash she looks too innocent and cute to cause trouble. My older 2 kids had no routine they refused it and the 4 year old sorta had one some days but joshie does have a routine that he created and i follow the best i can. BUT he is a dadda's boy!

[Astrid]

Astrid... I didn't consider food additives going through my milk. Should I see a dr or dietician to get advice on an elimination diet, or could I just do it myself?

Look up Failsafe and the Fedup site. Sue Dengate.

[Indadhanu]

Thanks Astrid, have found the site and bookmarked! Have to say, its definitely opened my eyes already, I can't believe the things in some food.

[onthefly]

Is she teething? Cause DS is absolutely horrid when he's teething and he has been for most of the past 8 months. He is up at least 2-3 times a night, up for the day at 5am, maybe sleeps 90 minutes during the day if we're really lucky...

Night weaning may work for you - we did it a couple of months ago and DS still wakes just as much as ever but he doesn't always need me. It was VERY hard for a couple of weeks. DH had to do a lot of teh heavy lifting at night and there was screaming, I'm afraid. But he got used to the idea and things settled down again. It may not fix the waking, but might at least give you a break. Also, stopping feeding to sleep (which turned out to be easier than I'd feared) seems to have helped him too - he goes to sleep much quicker now.

The only other thing I can think of is more Shel time... you obivously need some more help.

[MrsFabuloso]

I have no advice leasha, just a big hug . I know the feeling. I have two that won't sleep. Last night I was up every hour from 10pm til we got up this morning. Thats just with DS. DD was awake about 3 times, luckily DH was home to tend to her. It sucks big time and I'm praying after almost two and a half years, that at least DD figures out the sleep thing soon....

[Heaven]

It is the same here Your post feels like a glimpse into my future, ****.

[Marlene]

Oh Leash, I wish I had answers for you (I need them too). I want to night wean Jack as well, but when he wakes in the night he wants booby to go back to sleep, and I just don't have the strength to let him cry. He does sleep slightly better than Jazz, but I'm still up once or twice a night and early in the morning.
I think what has really helped me has been changing my attitude drastically, trying to hang onto the thought that This too shall pass...You're probably ready to strangle me by now, LOL, but I really do know what sleep deprivation is like and I also know exactly what its like to have not much support, and also to have everyone telling you "well, if you're not willing to do anything about it then don't whinge". I even get that from DH because I am still BFing Jack back to sleep during the night..
I found that when I am feeling really down about it all I look at all the gorgeous happy faced photos and videos I have of Jack, and I also have a few songs on my ipod that really hit home and make me appreciate my little man so much more.

Sorry for my rambling...I just wish I knew the right thing to say to help you.

[Doing my best]

[QUOTE=~Leasha~;1932511
Dan, I have been hesitant about sleep school, as I know the one in Brisbane leans towards CIO techniques, which I'm just not happy with. As desperate as it gets, I just can't put her through that.
We do try to be consistant, we try to work with the NCSS techniques.

[/QUOTE]

With having read some of your techniques, I wouldn't recommend the Brisbane sleep school to you either. We went about 2 months ago, and there is a lot of CIO methods, and I think we came home worse than when we went in with some things.

But, back to your original post, we are going through a very similar thing with DD. One thing has helped, is only one of us in the room, and I am not the 1st option to DD. (actually my mum is the best, but not practical, LOL)..

We are just persisting with routine.. Not much help with me being so tired, but hoping sticking with some routine after baby is born, will also help DD..

[Indadhanu]

Just a question about not feeding to sleep..... HOW? She would never sleep!

[Ginger]

yeah,....i thought that too leash...but somehow they sort it out.
i fed ds1 to sleep for 90% of his sleeps until he was 14 months old.
have you tried lying in bed with her, cuddling her, reading her a story?

[Indadhanu]

She just claws at my boobs and buries her head in my chest and cries