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Thread: I seem to be the only one......

  1. #1

    Default I seem to be the only one......

    ....who doesn't have a problem with the amount of times my DD wakes in the night for a feed - which is only around 2-3 times might I add.

    If one more person asks me if she is "sleeping through" I am truly going to scream.

    Met some work colleagues for lunch today and there was another friend there with her baby. He sleeps 13 hours a night with no waking. Apparently he is a "good" baby because of this.

    AND someone told me to "give her some formula" to "get her to sleep all night".

    AARRRGGGHHH!
    Rant over.



    Sue x

  2. #2

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    I hear ya!!

    My dad used to constantly ask if my DD was sleeping thru yet... I just used to sigh and say "nup!"

    And don't get me started on the good/bad baby thing!!! Apparently DS is a "good" baby because he sleeps well (ATM anyway). Does that mean DD, who is a delightful child, albeit a handful, was a bad baby because I had to rock her to sleep for every sleep til she was 6mths, at which point she began to self settle - every now and then! And don't get ME started on night wake ups!

    Babies need what they need. They wake when they wake. That doesn't make then good or bad IMO!!

    You do whatever works for you!

  3. #3

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    Yep I still had J waking up until he weaned at 17 mths and I didn't care at all - it was a quick feed at 4-5am and I actually loved it, cried when he weaned and still miss those beautiful snuggles now. They grow up so fast and those beautiful, tiny warm, middle of the night cuddles don't last forever so I completely understand! Enjoy and just nod and smile when they say anything!

  4. #4

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    Nope, I never cared either! DH was on the sleeping through bandwagon once we hit about 9 months, and by then she was getting to only waking 1-2 times a night, so not bad anyway, but don't worry, you aren't the only one!

    The only time I cared was when she would wake on cue when I finally got to run a shower! lol

  5. #5

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    Hun, just lie! Tell them what they want to hear - "yes, she's sleeping through" "yes, she's a good baby" "yep, I get 12 hours a night peace & quiet"

    I found people aren't really interested in the real answer so just tell them all the "good" stuff and keep on doing what you're doing - being a perfect mum who responds to her babies needs!

  6. #6

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    Isn't that annoying!! Trust me, formula doesn't make them sleep through...DD is on formula and she's only slept through 2 nights in about the last 6 months!

    Wait until her next baby...maybe it will wake up 3 or 4 times a night and then she won't know what hit her *evil laugh*

  7. #7

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    It's so good to come here and have people truly understand what I mean. And not judge me or my baby on how much she is sleeping. One thing though, they all commented on how content she is!!!

    Thanks guys, you all rock!

  8. #8

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    Lady at the supermarket asked me if DS was sleeping through yet

  9. #9

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    and you know that sleeping through for a baby is about 5 hours?
    at my DDs 2nd bday i could count on my hands the amount of times she slept all night.. Yes it sucked, but life doesnt stop and we all learn pretty quick how to cope with minimal sleep...

  10. #10
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    online, i knew lots of mums bresatfeeding and co-sleeping at night
    but IRL, i was the only one (in my mother's group)
    my bub woke every two hours (until she was 20 months old, then she started sleeping for one five hour stretch)
    although i knew there was alot of variation (amongst bf babies) thru chatting online and reading ABA stuff, in real life, i felt quite alone about it.

    i later found out, many of the babies, who i had been told "sleep thru like angels", their parents had used Controlled Crying - ignored their cries for 12 hours type of thing - so then i realised - those parent's version of the child sleeping, and MY version of what a sleeping child means (e.g no crying or distress), was marketly different.

    But at the time, sometimes i felt very envious, people were so competitive about it, so i did feel like a failure, cos i coudln't chime in "yes, us too". it was group pressure, cos i knew deep down, what my bub was doing was very very normal. with a stomach the size of a marble, she NEEDED lots of small drinks. ANd she looked so healthy.

    Took me a while to work out, i was in the minority (to pick up baby when they cry, intead of leaving them to "cry it out".)

    I decided, ok, i have chosen to "attachment parent", so i will have to do this alone. No point in trying to discuss AP with people who don't believe in it (you just get dissed). I worked out i could get my support online and i did. from other AP parents. who did get it. and didn't put me down with the "well, if you put her on formula, she would sleep through". I met many parents who DID follow that advice and their bubs STILL didn't sleep through.

    have no idea if i stayed ON TOPIC or not. apologies if i didn't.

    MummaSue, i would regard your bub as entirely normal, waking for 2-3 feeds per night. Their little tummy can only hold such a small quantity at this stage, they are not camels! I would not like to be denied a drink for 12 hours (if i wanted one). Babies are such primal beings, they ask for what they need, when they need it.
    (i got to calling it "feeding by request" - as "feeding on demand" i know it's semantics, but just that phrase turned me cold. whereas "feeding by request" made me feel so positive. Like each feed was a precious gift to my lovely bub.)

    and the TYPECASTING of babies, into Good Babies (who sleep 13 hours, don't cry, etc) immediately assumes there are the opposites out there - the Bad Babies who wake often, and do cry - heavens above, they act like real babies!!!!

    Like everything, there is variation. But being at any end or in the middle of that variation, does not make a baby inherently Good or Bad. how ridiculous. it sounds to me, that tiny helpless beings, who happen to be hungry, are being castigated for having the temerity to ask their mum for a drink! (by strangers and other people you might know in mother's groups on a very basic level).

    it's crazy, YOU"RE not worried about it, but perfect strangers are, it's a crazy world. You know your bub the best, at the same time as your hormones are going nuts, it seems new mums have to develop a thick skin to, cos everyone feels free to comment/judge/advise, once you've had a bub.

  11. #11

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    Bah! I hear ya! Some of the mums at playgroup look at me funny when I say DD still feeds 2-3 times a night and they look even more flabbergasted when I say we're still cosleeping! Apparently I need to break her out of that habit! Funny how I seem to be getting more sleep than most of them

  12. #12

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    Yeah, I hear ya too! I'm sick of having conversations with people about DS's sleep patterns and answering stupid questions about whether he's a "good" baby. I just look at them oddly and say "well, if by good baby you mean that he sleeps when he wants to, then yes, he's a good baby." I don't really know what a good baby is mean to do otherwise

    All my social time at the moment is with other mothers, and I have to say, I'm a bit sick of the oestrogen-overload. I'd prefer to talk about the weather than DS's sleep

    Oh, and btw, the mum's I've spoken to who's babies are sleeping through are also (sometimes) the ones crying themselves to sleep. One of the couples I know only respond to their 6 week-old son's cries when he's hungry...not when he's "having a tantrum." What sort "tantrum" is a 6 w/o baby meant to have??

    So, yeah, my baby is good. Thanks for asking

  13. #13

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    I hear you all on the controlled crying thing! It seems to be a popular way to get baby to sleep hey? I feel sad for those bubbas though, and sad that the mums seem to have no connection to the damage that it could possibly cause.

    It was so funny though, yesterday at the lunch. Missy moo was sitting all content and smiling at everyone and the other "good" little baby who sleeps through the night cried and grizzled through the whole lunch!!!! GO FIGURE!!!

    Hehe.
    Thanks again guys. I *heart* everyone on bellybelly.
    S X

  14. #14

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    I always say my baby does what babies are supposed to do - wake multiple times a night & feed frequently so he's very good at being a baby.

  15. #15

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    Aww darl, don't worry what anyone else thinks or has to say ..... your a wonderful mummy with the most adorable little girl in the whole wide world

    What exactly is a 'good' baby anyway ?? A baby is a baby - dont know how they can be labelled as being a good baby, or a bad baby actually afterall they are just that babies

  16. #16

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    awww... that breaks my heart leaving a 6 week old to cry like that

    To me...a baby crying is their voice, a form of communication....babies cry for a reason. To ignore your baby 'talking' to you like that...disgusting IMO....

  17. #17

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    Awww, thanks guys.

    I agree delphmoon! I just think about how I'd feel if I were crying and my DH ignored me. It would be awful!

    At the end of the day, my baby may not be able to quite get herself over to sleep yet but I am happy to help her and I am cherishing this time with her. She's not going to be this size for much longer...... time is going too fast already!

    Sue x

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