I'm having the same concerns with DD#2. She is a little clinging limpet and screams the place down when anyone else holds her, and stops the second I take her.

I think MMM's advice is brilliant. DH and I bath both the girls together and try to alternate who baths who.

As for getting him to settle in his own room, I cuddled both my DDs to sleep for months (still do with DD#2). When DD#1 hit 10 months (and I was 7 months pregnant) I decided enough was enough and I couldn't cuddle two babies to sleep. I started by cuddling her to sleep in her room (I had previously done this watching tv or something). I then decreased the cuddle so she was really relaxed but still awake, then would put her in her cot. I would immediately sit on the floor with both my arms through the cot rails and on her body so she still felt me almost completely covering her body. Gradually withdrew weight of arms, length of time etc. For the first couple of weeks I didn't leave until she was asleep (and it could still take close to an hour!) but then all of a sudden she just seemed to "get it" so I started moving out of the room, leaving while she was awake. If she got distressed at any time I would pick her up and settle her down. Depending on how she was, we would either start the routine again, or just cuddle her to sleep and try again the next time.

Also, try to have a really consistent bed time routine - for night and day sleeps. I take DD#1 into her room, change her nappy, close the windows saying "Bye bye Mr Sun. Come back when Izzy's had a nap". Then tell her its time for bed, tell her I love her, give her a kiss, tuck her in and walk out. I think it also helps when you're trying to make the transition to always put them to bed in their pyjamas, sleeping bag, whatever - so they have as many prompts as possible that hey, its time for bed.

Good luck. I know how you feel - I have two weddings at the end of January/February and I'm dreading DD#2 not self settling by then. I'm about to start this routine with her too. Its exhausting when they only want their Mummy.